Need advice: How to proceed with my son

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I do not think they can. Even observant, intelligent parents don't necessarily notice.

Most AS kids are just 'odd' and nothing else and most parents just go "He'll grow out of it" or such, so no,
it's not clear, until you start looking into it.

Just do a regular little AS internet test, those are reliable enough.

ditto i was diagnosed at age of 12..it took me until i was 15 to get access to internet by first time i look AS at wikibedia most of it fitted me exactly (i personally think finish version is better described )

I regret not getting diagnosed earlier. Kids were really, really cruel to me as a child. I felt that if I would have gotten a diagnosis earlier, I might have at least understood on my own level why they didn't like me. I ended up adopting a deep self-loathing that I still carry. I feel I would have understood as far back as fourth grade.

That is just me though.

yeah, I know what you mean, I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my late 50's. You have your whole life ahead of you knowing. Rejoice in it!

I'll answer a few of your questions I feel I have a good opinion on.

1. Anybody in the forum regret having been formally diagnosed?
I wasnt diagnosed until high school and really made no attempts at addressing it until I was in my early-mid 20s. I think I am glad I was not diagnosed young. I kinda think growing up in a normal system helped, I might have missed out on some stuff because I might have used AS as a crutch. I'm probably what you'd consider pretty mild though. There may be cases where special education would be necessary.

a. Has the label caused more harm than good for how other's view you? (including parents, teachers and peers)
Very few people know I have it. Most just view me as wierd and a bit of a loner.


b. Has having a diagnosis ever been hurtful to your ability to challenge yourself? (Do you use it as a crutch?)
I think in social situations it is a big crutch. Most people probably emberass the hell out of themselves often in their teens and 20s but learn and become better at socializing, but I avoid lots of those situations. I'm sure, like they say, what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger and I'm missing out on learning from mistakes.



a. He's not stupid, he asked us after the second meeting with the psychologist, "why did she ask me those weird questions, does she think I'm autistic!?"
No, he's not stupid, he's probably smarter than you already in lots of ways. Get used to it =P.

It's going to be different for everyone, depending on the severity and how well the person is coping with life. How to know when to get diagnosed is sort of the big question... one that is a very tough one. Parents want the best for their children, so it's natural for them to jump into wanting an explanation at the first sign of trouble. How much of that, however, needs to be left alone for the kid to work through? It's a really tough question.

It was suggested that I be tested when I was a child, but my mother refused. Frankly I believe it was absolutely the right decision. I am only mildly autistic, so I was able to get by and cope largely on my own (for which I am so incredibly lucky and thankful; I fully understand that this simply would not be possible for many). As a result, I didn't grow up with a disorder label attached to me. Only now in my thirties, being a full fledged adult, I have an answer for the whys of my personality. I am so comfortable being who I am, the knowledge is almost like doing a research paper on myself.