LFA brother refusing to toilet train himself

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my little sister is 6 and is still in pull ups. I'd rather have my sibling in pullsups/diapers than going everywhere.

what doctors say about it? and if refusing to use toilet there really aint much choices so i agree with Spokane_Girl but reward system would prob' work too

Force him to clean up after himself any time he has an accident; refuse to clean up after any of his messes. Maybe then he will comply.

I know if it were me I might only clean it up if it was like, in my bed. XD;; Maybe not the best idea. But it IS a good idea to make it harder for him to pee everywhere than to just use the toilet. Maybe if your mom periodically took him into the bathroom and didn't let him out until he went, and if he still went in his pants, she could just not let him out until he washed and changed. It would be time consuming, but I bet he'd get tired of it and eventually give in.

That's an excellent idea. The only way for some people to learn is through ending the motivation behind the behavior in question.

If he's profoundly autistic he may not be able to be potty trained. Sometimes, I am really shocked to see how much ignorance that posters here actually have about the other end of the spectrum. Being forceful, and punishing him for something that he can't help would be really cruel. Being able to be potty trained the person first needs to be able to discern the physical feeling that they need to go, and secondly be able to have the cognitive processing that's needed to go through the steps to successfully use the toilet, in a timely manner. That's asking a lot from someone who is severely autistic.

Mechanicalgirl39, will your brother wear diapers? My son constantly takes his off, and my days mirror your mothers. Constantly cleaning up after him. We have had some success in having some outfits made for him so that he can't get out of them, and therefore can't get to his diaper to take it off. They zip up the back. Has your mom tried using a reward system for potty training? My son is only 5, and not anywhere near close to having the skills to use a reward system, or PECs for that matter. I'm fully aware that he may never get there. I can deal with him wearing diapers for the rest of his life, but not cleaning up his messes every time he goes, especially fecal smearing messes. I feel for your mom, because I know how mentally exhausting it can be. Try to help her out as much as you can.

serenity oins out a very vali fact of something may not be achievable especially since he s LF it is a shame thugh as a lot of LFs are so un loving and brilliantbut that aspect is something parents find hard I think especially the mother as usually with autism find it harder to process the inperfectio.

does he go to specialist, or home schooled, as the incontinance pants would have a large dash on confidence in main streamin specialist it is more easier to hide and be normal.

It must be really hard though Ido hope things go well

LFA is something I really want to learn about

serenity oins out a very vali fact of something may not be achievable especially since he s LF it is a shame thugh as a lot of LFs are so un loving and brilliantbut that aspect is something parents find hard I think especially the mother as usually with autism find it harder to process the inperfectio.

does he go to specialist, or home schooled, as the incontinance pants would have a large dash on confidence in main streamin specialist it is more easier to hide and be normal.

It must be really hard though Ido hope things go well

LFA is something I really want to learn about

In the UK,they can get a bit crappy [cant think of a better word] over prescribing nappies unless the cause is physical and not controlled/through choice by the person.
It's the nurse that need to see for assessment for them,but boots also sell them [UK].
Also,the OT can provide special blankets to put ontop of what sit on/lie on,the ones am use are called 'kylie' sheets,they're thick,cloth type,comfortable and not rubbery or plasticy,and they make smaller ones to be put on sofas.
again-can buy these as well,but if can get them free might as well.


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Could he have a sensory problem with the toilet,or a problem with the room it's in?
Perhaps he had a bad experience with the toilet or room,which has led to associating memory of going to toilet with bad experience?
Could he have a routine with using those other places as toilet,thus finding it impossible to change?
Could it be a way of interacting and/or communicating?

Thought of these as they're all valid to self,though dont interact with weeing.
Also,am dont think its right if were to leave things soaked in wee like what has been suggested,this may work for some people,but it's using higher functioning ability on a prof. lf autistic.

This doesn't apply to all prof. lf autistics but of those have lived with whom have issues with toileting,they walk around soaking wet,until staff get them changed,meaning there is a difficulty somewhere for them,part of their learning disabilities? exec/dysfunction? behavior?
am not on the profound end yet still have difficulties with knowing what to do after wetting somewhere,so prof/auties have got no chance.

And QFT Serenity.
Apparently [if were to listen to some],being LFA means having own bum wiped by someone else and sitting in a corner drooling all day,if only autism was as defined as that,it might mean royalty end up being diagnosed as autistic,and quick assessment for all.

Yes he is profoundly low functioning.

Yeah it is probably derived from 'the bends' as in decompression. Could also be derived from being whirled around an actual bend very fast, causing dizziness.



He will rarely poop on his own due to a)motor problems and b) issues with taking a dump. He has an enema every day for this reason.

However if he needs to poop there and then yes he will poop anywhere. A few nights ago he had diarrhea all over his bedroom floor.



He has been toilet trained in the past but NEVER sustained it, he would just go back to peeing on things.

Sadly, no, he's not verbal.

Reward inducement, good idea actually. I will talk with my mum and see can we think of something he likes that much...not good prognosis though...every time my mum tries to get him to cooperate in any way he just withdraws.

Thanks everyone for suggestions, I appreciate it

She regularly does this and he just stays there and refuses to pee.

Then 20 mins later or so she goes to his room and sees a pool of urine.

He would actually not wash and change himself. He's either too low functioning or he simply won't. We can't tell which. He's not verbal and won't use any kind of communication, even hand signals.



Sadly, he won't. See above part of this message.

He will sit in a room with a pile of diarrhea, and not try and clean himself. He's VERY low functioning.



Yeah he used to wear them, but the ones we get here are a bit too small and awkward, and he will often pee in them and they leak.

I'll suggest this to my mum too; those outfits sound a neat solution, if we could get some diapers that work properly.



Home schooled. He's too LF even for a special autistic class.



Thanks



I don't think it's a sensory problem with the actual room. He won't pee in a jug ANYWHERE unless he occasionally feels like it.

I honestly couldn't tell if it's to do with bad experiences, as he's non verbal and doesn't communicate.

I don't know if it's a routine either. He will pee in the back seat of the car, the sofa, his bed, a few days ago the floor. He doesn't seem to have an exact preference for where to pee.



Jeez.....I have no words...

Thank f**k I have only mild ASD...

If you do that, I suggest doing it the hard-core way and not as for behavioural disordered kids who collect points/similar for rewards.

No negative responses and as much as possible trying to feigning ignorance towards wrongdoings concerning toilet use or lack thereof (to avoid any bad emotional connection with it) and a very attractive reward. One that is given instantly (else the connection is quickly forgotten) and consequently ("we didn't have time" can't be an excuse) and one that he can't get any other way.

I heard somebody saying sounds a bit like training a dog but basically, you do the same with words to typical kids too. You tell them 'oh, great, you did awesome bla bla' when they achieved something. And with typical kids you have the luxury to be able to say 'well, if you keep this up for a month and try hard, we will look into that present'.

But that's something you usually can't do with for example some LD/MR kids because even if they try hard they will usually fail to, say, not slap anyone for 20 minutes, but succeeded slapping nobody for 2 minutes before they're exhausted and distracted. They just do not connect a reward (good words or material reward) that you give them half an hour or a whole day later with whatever they did right before.

-shorted abit^^ anyway is there any chance to get diffrent brand ones?

Why doesn't she just keep him in there until his bladder gives out? Don't ever let him out of the bathroom even if it takes him two hours to go or five hours. It's obvious he is doing this on purpose because you just said he refuses to pee so obviously he is holding it. So it sounds like to me he can help what he is doing or else he wouldn't be holding his pee.


I have heard about parents tying their toddlers to potty chairs while potty training them, perhaps she should do the same to your brother?

Yeah, I'd definetely be checking to see about bigger diapers. If you are in the US there are programs that may be able to help your family afford to purchase them. I don't know know if the cost is an issue or not, so I figured I'd throw that out there. I know they can be very expensive.

Does your brother have any therapy, or does anyone come to your house to help him learn some life skills? I feel that he really should be in school. (of course this is just my opinion. I'm not trying to step on your mom's toes) There's no such thing as too LF to attend school. There's only so much your mom can do. I know from experience, that taking care of a kid that has such a high level of need takes up all of my day. There's very little time left for me to also do therapy, and reward charts. I'm not sure, but I would think that it would be very difficult to potty train anyone if they don't at least have some form of communication.

A reward system may work. You would have to start out with baby steps. Like, giving him a reward for just going into the bathroom for awhile. Maybe, some kind of treat he really likes. (and make sure he doesn't get the treat for anything else, otherwise he'll get quickly satiated and it will be less effective) If he's used to just going into the bathroom for showers it's a huge break in routine to go in there for anything else. We haven't found anything that my son finds rewarding enough to do anything that he doesn't want to do. From what I've heard, most autistic children respond well to rewards, though.

Once again. you CANNOT treat a child like that. It's considered abuse! You keep making outrageous comments on threads like this. It never fails to blow my mind when I read your responses to child rearing problems.