Who else feels cheated out of a normal childhood?

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Crassus wrote:

If there's a debate on these subject then I would join it, but what I'm saying is that they seem to be doing small talk all the time. I mean if I learn something new or if I'm interested then I call it intellectual talk, but if they just talk just to be talking with no new information presented then I can't hang out with them. And most of the time it's small talk for teens.

I've heard intellectual rap besides christian rap and rap in general. I seem to enjoy Lupe FIasco's songs better than the gangsta songs because they have meaning to them (to me) Most gansta rap I've heard are about rappers talking about getting all their girls and chains and cars when in reality they most likely don't have any of those things they mention.

I can debate rap if I want to, though I might be biased.

I never knew any other kids - the bullying isolated me totally. So I'm not sure if I missed much, don't know what's involved in being a kid.

Well, in my case, I'm like a 40 year old stockbroker stuck in the body of a 27 year old...and all the people at work just make lame sex jokes that I heard...when I was like 16 years old.

This is why I find socialization to be so incredibly overrated.

Thankfully talking with older people I find quite stimulating, as being a fan of history and economics I always have something to discuss with them...

but I honestly have to hear something with more depth than "things today have never been worse in this world". Yeah, I've heard that since I was like 3; it gets old.

I relate to you Merle. I was luckier as my experiences weren't quite as bad but I have been abused, hungry and homeless and feel very fortunate at the life I now have. I can't change the past but I can change the future for kids like me so that they don't have to experience the lows I did especially in my teens.

I feel like I denied myself my childhood. Always fitted more with old people. I was feeling to mature to play.

But therefore, I want to live a "late" childhood. So I'm like 23 but I like being a total joke not like other 20'ers who rather like thinking serious of their life and "life plan".

On the other hand, being a kid gives you the benefit of approval whenever you come up with a crazy and cool idea, something that when you grow up is replace by that "stop being ridiculous" look.

So I keep faking I'm mature.

Define "Normal"

Well there you go! That's the wall I ran up against with my own daughter. My childhood was great for me and seemed both then and retrospectively to be entirely normal and happy. I played with all the children in the neighborhood. Visited their homes often and they visited in mine. Had friends at school. Went on lots and lots of outings and loved novelty. Adored the carnival whenever it came to town. Lived in anticipation of the next kid's birthday party.


I wanted to share all that I found wonderful (and normal) about my own childhood with my daughter. Wooops! That didn't work out too well. Everything that I loved and considered "normal childhood" was like torture to her. (She is AS and I'm NT.) Finally the lightbulb went off in my head and I realized she didn't WANT what I percieved as a normal childhood and I should stop trying to make her have one. That approach is working much better.

So is "cheated" really the right word? The intensive, constant and noisy socializing that makes up most peoples' normal childhood seems like it would be torturous for an AS person. It was certainly torturous for my daughter when I tried to misguidedly foist it on her thinking that this normal childhood was what all children wanted.

I'm not sure what to say.

Kids were very, very cruel to me. Did my AS make me different enough that I was a target? I'm not sure. Certainly, the cruelty is why I was so withdrawn from everyone. I can't say with any certainty that AS was the reason why it happened.

I was bullied by a lot of people when i was younger, but i also had a few good friends. I also had the two best parents someone with autism could hope for. I've never been pressured by them to change who i am, they've always accepted me for who i am. My mother was too happy and relieved that i had actually learnt to speak, to be placing arbitary expectations on me. Looking at the people who bullied me, their childhoods even though they were popular, were a lot worse than mine. They had no real friends, they had sucky parents who would physically/verbally abuse them, who would place stupid over the top expectations on them and in general just wouldn't let their kids be kids. I suppose that's the main reason why now, today, they value material things and have no real depth of character and are basically a bunch of sorry losers. I have plenty of my own problems, but i'm glad for the problems i have, and i'm glad for the childhood that led to them.

QFT

Yeah, you know, when I see NT kids play together, it makes me realize what was missed in my own childhood. Sometimes it almost makes me cry that I could not experience some of those things that seem so fun now that my mind is more mature. It's like when I became an adult my brain was able to handle this fun play that kids engage in. My childhood was just a fog of weather obsessions which my dad told me to always think about something else which made me depressed. When I was finally able to see through the fog enough to enjoy working with kids (before I worked with older folks), I could sure see what I missed. It's like a flippin twilight zone. I can't go back in time and play with the kids, yet I am not ready to have kids of my own. I want to work with kids, but it is so hard to be the adult when in your mind you would rather play

I used to feel that my childhood was a great loss. But these days, when I see the childhood my grandsons lead, I feel rather lucky. I lived in rural areas and it was quite normal for me to go out alone exploring. I had very few friends, and was always puzzled at how people I thought of as friends could turn on me and gossip behind my back. But I read a lot, and learned to amuse myself. It was common for me to go exploring out and about for most of a summer's day without any supervision at all.

...Maybe a " normal " teenagerhood/adolencence more than " kid "-dom .
My internal idea sort of combines the " innocuous " Archie Comics idea of teenagerness with the more " rowdy " Fast Times At Ridgemont High/American Graffiti/whatever thing ! !! !! !! !!...
Ha , ha , ha , ha , ha , I never left childhood ...

What I feel cheated out of the most is understanding from my parents. Would you believe they are the ones who teased and gave me a hard time the most? Not school peers or anything like that?

I used to think I didn't have a normal childhood, and I was in a special ed class for two years full time and I felt they took two years of my life. Well I know now I did have a normal childhood despite the bullying I got and all the unhappiness I had and my speech delay. It could have been worse, there are people out there who grew up with no families or were abused throughout their childhood and I didn't have any of that there so I should be happy for the childhood I did have. Think I have been abused, think of real child abuse, I know I was not abused. I am sure all kids feel abused when they get punished or get treated like the bad guy because of their little brothers.

I sometimes feel like a teenager, sometimes younger and sometimes I feel like an adult so I don't have a specific age I feel like.

I may the odd one out here,

but I totally loved how I didn't interact with anybody my age at all and how I only had short bouts of acknowledgement when forced until I was in my pre-teens.

I really like being with people these days, I like my social job, my friends because all that foreign stuff is pretty fascinating, don't get me wrong. However, the time during which I did not have to deal with kids and playing and stuff - even naturally ignored them and did not recognise them as playmates and persons - that was the best time of my life.

Like, the best time ever.

I had an amazing and most happy childhood despite the autistic symptoms.