24 Jul 2009, 6:32 pm
24 Jul 2009, 8:56 pm
24 Jul 2009, 9:14 pm
ColdBlooded
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24 Jul 2009, 11:54 pm
Hmm... I don't know if this is related, but there are some NTs on my mom's side of the family who do a lot a stimmy-type behaviors. My mom, for example, is extremely NT. I got her to take that AQ test online one time just for fun and i think she got something like a 9.... But, she rocks quite a bit and also bounces or otherwise repetitively moves her legs and feet a lot. My grandfather is also very NT, but whenever i'm sitting at the table playing a board game or something with him, i always see him rubbing his fingers together when he's thinking.
On a side note, this is how i usually explain the what caused my aspie-ish behavior in relation to genetics, in a simplified way: My mom is "normal," but rocks back and forth a lot. My dad is "normal," but obsesses about things and keeps going back to the same topic in a conversation. Then they had me, who rocks back and forth WHILE obsessing over things 
(and my sister, who does NEITHER...)
25 Jul 2009, 3:05 am
Feyhera wrote:
irishwhistle wrote:
Trippy video... mainly because of the humming. It took on a tune of sorts, a little eerie but oddly pleasing. I am undiagnosed and still wonder if I am AS. It's the stims that keep me believing I might be. I stroke, manipulate, and even peel my lips, rub my skin (which is soft if I do say so 
), compulsively squint and blink especially after a stressful experience and tend to hold my breath until I get my eyes feeling just the way I want them which increase my tension, stick out my pinkies, in fact, my hands are almost constantly moving, frequently across each other if nothing else is available, in intricate patterns. ADD or ADHD are also a likely consideration for me. Suffice it to say that this does not nearly scratch the surface of the number and variation, some of them very subtle, of my stims. One of my favorites is when I get going on a painting and get into a rhythm stroking intricate lines into the piece with a dagger shader (kind of brush). My husband has gotten used to my spending hours sometimes rambling about miniscule nuances of film trivia and character analysis, only partially obsessive since I am currently trying to grasp the theories behind plot, character, etc, for my writing and often tend to pick up on things from my independent studies while watching a film.
Unfortunately, he and the kids have to put up with a lot, too. I don't like sudden loud noises (who would?), being touched unexpectedly, especially in a fact I consider too intimate or personal (my 7-year-old likes to kiss me on the arm and it's all I can do not to slug him. Poor little boy) and any sound that intrudes on my thoughts or tries to loop in my head (think of a song stuck in your head, but with everything). I feel it is fair to not expect them to humor me in all things and try to let a lot of things go, but it builds up over time. I wear ear buds a lot. They're essential in stores unless you actually like Air Supply and Hall and Oates. But I digress.
My husband says he doesn't even notice my stimming. I can control it reasonably well around others, but he wouldn't know me if he saw me at the computer after he goes to bed! Bobbing, waving my head all over, my hands all over my face and neck as I read something...
), compulsively squint and blink especially after a stressful experience and tend to hold my breath until I get my eyes feeling just the way I want them which increase my tension, stick out my pinkies, in fact, my hands are almost constantly moving, frequently across each other if nothing else is available, in intricate patterns. ADD or ADHD are also a likely consideration for me. Suffice it to say that this does not nearly scratch the surface of the number and variation, some of them very subtle, of my stims. One of my favorites is when I get going on a painting and get into a rhythm stroking intricate lines into the piece with a dagger shader (kind of brush). My husband has gotten used to my spending hours sometimes rambling about miniscule nuances of film trivia and character analysis, only partially obsessive since I am currently trying to grasp the theories behind plot, character, etc, for my writing and often tend to pick up on things from my independent studies while watching a film. Unfortunately, he and the kids have to put up with a lot, too. I don't like sudden loud noises (who would?), being touched unexpectedly, especially in a fact I consider too intimate or personal (my 7-year-old likes to kiss me on the arm and it's all I can do not to slug him. Poor little boy) and any sound that intrudes on my thoughts or tries to loop in my head (think of a song stuck in your head, but with everything). I feel it is fair to not expect them to humor me in all things and try to let a lot of things go, but it builds up over time. I wear ear buds a lot. They're essential in stores unless you actually like Air Supply and Hall and Oates. But I digress.
My husband says he doesn't even notice my stimming. I can control it reasonably well around others, but he wouldn't know me if he saw me at the computer after he goes to bed! Bobbing, waving my head all over, my hands all over my face and neck as I read something...
Do you intentional work at not stimming in front of your husband and others? I mean, he must know, right? Do you think you could ever include him in some of your stimming? Like maybe find one of your stims that he finds soothing and share it with him once in awhile?
It's become second nature to suppress my stims in front of others. The variety of head movements, squinting, skin rubbing and picking, and various other bodily movements with no apparent purpose make for a pretty odd show to anyone who might be watching. The only one I can think of that I do not suppress is my hands, in that I move them constantly and so have that elaborate series of patterns that I make when sitting and listening in classes and the like. I even had someone sitting next to me reach out and still my hands once. I have no idea what other people consider these motions to be, but she in any case was always an insufferable know-it-all so I'm sure she had her own deep clinical explanation for why my hand movements were bad. I have moved and do not respond to her e-mails. One gets tired of never being able to be right about anything she didn't already know first, and being told how much you've improved since you first came there. Improved in what way, exactly?
But I wander. I do not have any particular stim I care to share with him. I don't know why I would. These are not hobbies, nor are they things I do for enjoyment. I am not even conscious of their having any soothing effect upon me except in the sense that not doing them for prolonged periods would cause additional stress. I don't flap like others do, or rock much at all, I just have my little stims in huge numbers. I peel my lip until it bleeds. I pick at my skin until it bleeds, also, sometimes. These are the only things I think he would be likely to notice unless he happens to see me when I'm stimming more than usual. I prefer to share things with him that make me happy. My stims are a lot of what made me think I might have some kind of condition. I don't have a problem with them or myself, but no, I don't see any of them as being something I would want to share. They're fairly personal. The only exception would be that there are of course times when I feel his skin instead of my own. And heck yeah, that makes him happy.
But though you would think he must know, he says he has not noticed it. I have no reason to doubt his veracity on this subject, so I guess he hasn't noticed. It may just be that since he is himself a foot tapper/leg bouncer (when sitting at a desk) he doesn't think much of my stims, perhaps passing them off as nervous habits like his own.
Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I think I'm some sort of OCD/ADHD person. The whole thing is rather vague, figuring out which symptoms are which.
25 Jul 2009, 5:14 am
I wish my husband would stim. he recognizes when I'm at the edge and does all the right things, but I haven't been able to figure out how to do the same for him 
your story is beautiful, I wish there were more people in the world like you.
Tory_canuck
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25 Jul 2009, 5:34 am
25 Jul 2009, 6:26 am
25 Jul 2009, 9:16 am
I didn't know you could "stim" another person, but... why not? It sounds funny.
As for stimming being socially acceptable or not, it's funny that it seems to depend on cultures.
When I was in Israel, I noticed that the Jews at the Weeping Wall rocked back and forth during prayer. One in our group asked our guide why they did that, if it had a special religious meaning, and she answered no, it was just for concentration.
I thought, WOW that's stimming like we do on the autistic spectrum! 
But I didn't tell her... she might have considered it rude...
But I know that, if I listen to e.g. a speech or something, I sometimes find myself rocking slightly (mostly from side to side though), I think it's like a means of concentration. When in public (e.g. in church (!)) I don't do it very much though, but try to move my weight from one foot to another instead, it's not so visible. The problem is that my legs often are too short to reach the floor. 
The Greek komboloi (sp?), a string with beads that the Greek men use to play with for relaxation, definitely is a stim toy too!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kombol%C3%B3i
And maybe the Catholic rosary with the beads and repeated prayers, and the similar Orthodox komposkini with knots for repeating of the Jesus prayer also is a stim??
25 Jul 2009, 10:39 am
Feyhera wrote:
I like stimming. I don't actually stim myself, but I like my husband's stimming. I've got a few questions for those of you who stim and I'm interested to hear if there are any other NTs here who like stimming too.
My husband takes off and puts on his eyeglasses, in rapid succession, like 5 times in a row when he's tense. I know now that that's when he could use some quiet time and I sometimes just turn off the lights in our room and lay down on the bed with him for some cuddling. I like cuddling with my husband, so this time we take together is definitely welcome and we both get something out of it. So win/win!
He also likes lining up objects, in order of size and height, so they touch and make cool swirls and patterns. Is that stimming?. I want to start taking pictures of some of the designs he comes up with but I keep forgetting to before he moves the stuff again.
He does this other thing which is so neat, because he does it to me now too, where he puts his right hand over the left side of his head (looks like he's a twisted up version of Rodin's "Thinker" when he does it -- it's cute, not strange) and rubs his thumb in little circles on his forehead. Sometimes, when we cuddle, he does it to me! I feel so included when he shares that with me (it feels like a form of communication, like, "We're in this together") and I can see how soothing it is for him. Sometimes, when I need reassurance, I'll just take his hand and place it on my head and say, "Stim me, baby!" Do any of you stim your loved ones? Or do any of you NTs ask to be stimmed? Do you think stimming loved ones is weird?
The only stimming my husband does that kind of freaks me out (because it seems to actually wind him up more than settle him down) is fiddling with his iPhone. He just started doing this recently. And he isn't doing anything particular, just taking out the stylus, poking some buttons randomly and then putting the stylus back in. Over and over again, with heightened irritation as he does it each time (I don't think he's getting any relief when he does it and it just sort of drives him nuts instead). I always get the feeling he's about to just break and run when this goes on and it seems to happen only when we're stuck in a crowd of people, like on a packed subway. He's just desperate to distract himself RIGHT NOW! So, I usually end up just putting my hand over the face of the iPhone to break the cycle and then we make eye contact and I whisper to him to just look at me. He smiles and locks eyes with me and we make faces at each other until we can get out of the crowd. Do any of you find that some stimming actually creates more tension than it relieves? Am I doing the right thing by interfering with what looks like a potential meltdown, or should I just let him figure it out alone?
I actually perceive stimming as a way of understanding what my husband needs, and not something to patiently ignore or get all weirded out by. There's this one video on YouTube, made by a profoundly autistic lady, which I have saved to my favorites and often watch when I'm feeling tense and overwhelmed. Just sit back and relax and let it flow through you. And if you're an unsure NT, try to leave your ideas about "weird" to one side for a minute and just let this be "normal" for a second. Maybe you all can tell me why this is so cool to me:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SF1csRLyxo[/youtube]
The thing she does with the wire loop at around 25 seconds in is particularly interesting to me... I just want to do that!! I have the huge urge to go find a piece of wire and try it myself! And at 1:48, the paper strip in the window, that's a good one too. So am I a weird NT? Or maybe I just have some autistic tendencies? Or do you think all human beings can relate to stimming in one way or another? I see babies doing this stuff all the time and it does seem to feel good to them too. It's just sad that some people regard it as something that should be stopped.
Can't wait to hear some other people's positive experiences with stimming and some tips for how to make it a good thing in our lives! Aspies and NTs, ok?
My husband takes off and puts on his eyeglasses, in rapid succession, like 5 times in a row when he's tense. I know now that that's when he could use some quiet time and I sometimes just turn off the lights in our room and lay down on the bed with him for some cuddling. I like cuddling with my husband, so this time we take together is definitely welcome and we both get something out of it. So win/win!
He also likes lining up objects, in order of size and height, so they touch and make cool swirls and patterns. Is that stimming?. I want to start taking pictures of some of the designs he comes up with but I keep forgetting to before he moves the stuff again.
He does this other thing which is so neat, because he does it to me now too, where he puts his right hand over the left side of his head (looks like he's a twisted up version of Rodin's "Thinker" when he does it -- it's cute, not strange) and rubs his thumb in little circles on his forehead. Sometimes, when we cuddle, he does it to me! I feel so included when he shares that with me (it feels like a form of communication, like, "We're in this together") and I can see how soothing it is for him. Sometimes, when I need reassurance, I'll just take his hand and place it on my head and say, "Stim me, baby!" Do any of you stim your loved ones? Or do any of you NTs ask to be stimmed? Do you think stimming loved ones is weird?
The only stimming my husband does that kind of freaks me out (because it seems to actually wind him up more than settle him down) is fiddling with his iPhone. He just started doing this recently. And he isn't doing anything particular, just taking out the stylus, poking some buttons randomly and then putting the stylus back in. Over and over again, with heightened irritation as he does it each time (I don't think he's getting any relief when he does it and it just sort of drives him nuts instead). I always get the feeling he's about to just break and run when this goes on and it seems to happen only when we're stuck in a crowd of people, like on a packed subway. He's just desperate to distract himself RIGHT NOW!
So, I usually end up just putting my hand over the face of the iPhone to break the cycle and then we make eye contact and I whisper to him to just look at me. He smiles and locks eyes with me and we make faces at each other until we can get out of the crowd. Do any of you find that some stimming actually creates more tension than it relieves? Am I doing the right thing by interfering with what looks like a potential meltdown, or should I just let him figure it out alone?I actually perceive stimming as a way of understanding what my husband needs, and not something to patiently ignore or get all weirded out by. There's this one video on YouTube, made by a profoundly autistic lady, which I have saved to my favorites and often watch when I'm feeling tense and overwhelmed. Just sit back and relax and let it flow through you. And if you're an unsure NT, try to leave your ideas about "weird" to one side for a minute and just let this be "normal" for a second. Maybe you all can tell me why this is so cool to me:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SF1csRLyxo[/youtube]
The thing she does with the wire loop at around 25 seconds in is particularly interesting to me... I just want to do that!! I have the huge urge to go find a piece of wire and try it myself! And at 1:48, the paper strip in the window, that's a good one too. So am I a weird NT? Or maybe I just have some autistic tendencies? Or do you think all human beings can relate to stimming in one way or another? I see babies doing this stuff all the time and it does seem to feel good to them too. It's just sad that some people regard it as something that should be stopped.
Can't wait to hear some other people's positive experiences with stimming and some tips for how to make it a good thing in our lives! Aspies and NTs, ok?
I wish I can my mom stim with me. That way she can stop telling me it's bothering her.
I stim by rocking back and forth, tickling my feet and hands, especially my palms and the edge of the inside of my feet. I also act out each scene and pace around when I'm listening to music. Makes me comfortable and part of who I am.
But most of the time I suppress my stims (except the tickling hands and feet one) in order to not gather attention. I wish I can do it and people to understand it so they won't think I'm ret*d for doing it (sometimes it slips out and they view me as crazy.)
I also chew my pencil subconsciously and tap my pencil on my hand to calm me doen, though when I have nothing I rock back and forth.
Love your story, and I don't think you're weird. You're just connecting to your husband like a true wife would. Those who're open-minded like to meet other people different from them, and since I think the majority is closed-minded, they don't want to see anything classified as weird or different.
You're truly an inspiration to me.
25 Jul 2009, 11:34 am
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I still feel embarrassed about my stimming, especially since i was caught doing it recently by an NT who doesn't know about + that I am AS.
Oh, dear. How'd that go? Were they creepy about it? Argh. Sorry that you felt bad.
[/quote]
I kinda changed the handflapping and grimacing into a drumming on the bench and tried to make a joke about being 'hyper', and she said 'yeah, you looked pretty alert', she kinda seemed to think it was kinda amusing and random.
First time anybody's seen it, it's like getting caught with your pants down.
That humming is hypnotic, it's like a chant or a song. I've just been flapping and singing it too
25 Jul 2009, 2:17 pm
25 Jul 2009, 4:16 pm
Tsiiki wrote:
@.@;;
Jeeze, and here I thought I didn't stim, except for the occassional (ok, rather often) rocking back and forth....
Jeeze, and here I thought I didn't stim, except for the occassional (ok, rather often) rocking back and forth....
You're like the second person to come on here and say that the video comfirmed it for them...
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And now its like almost all I do is it... do that hand thing, crack my wrist over and over and over and over and over again, make that weird humming noise, make a weird squishy sound noise subconciously, will spin things around and around and around and around, my phone, I often open, close, open, close open close, pull out antena, push in, pull out, push in, pull out, push in, chew on it, put back, pull out, push in, chew some more, bend it twist it, pull out more, push in back in, put it down, grab something else, pick it back up... all subconciously XD
Someone just posted a bit ago and said that the "open, close, open, close open close, pull out antena, push in, pull out, push in, pull out, push in, chew on it, put back, pull out, push in, chew some more, bend it twist it, pull out more, push in back in, put it down, grab something else, pick it back up" stuff is probably more related to OCD. I just wonder tho... is the difference between OCD and stimming that the OCD is a thing the person can't help doing, while stimming is something the person does to soothe themselves?
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I honestly think I even "doodle" as a form of stimming, in the sense that I have to always do it, grab it, and doesnt matter what it is, just start drawing squiggle, sqiggle, squiggle. I can't take notes without it, can't focus without it, test comes, and try not to, but usually end up drawing things (not even things, usually just like... flame-like arcs and stuff) while thinking about the problems... I swear I work so much better with it, on the phone, start doing it, waiting for something start doing it (I even draw on tables with penciles and stuff eatting and waiting and whatnot XD)
No way! I do that exact same thing... all of it!! Only the computer keyboard can compete with my doodling! I got so sick of all the little pieces of paper strewn all over the place, some of them with some pretty cool art on them, that I just went out and bought myself a very nice bound art journal (it's real big, like 10"x18"!) which has very nice paper inside it. Now, when I want to doodle, I grab the book and use it so the pictures don't end up on random stuff and then thrown into the trash. For going out, I keep a smaller version in my purse. Think about doing this yourself... that way your art on those paper placemats won't just get tossed like garbage!
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But I can sorta see why you'd like it... its can be somewhat... relaxing looking, seeing someone do their own thing, and when you love someone, you like to see them content, and jsut them (hasn't really happen from my behalf, but I had a friend... who sadly, really fell for me... and even after this fight, and he was all pissed at me, he'd still smile and get happy seeing me do stupid things, like in archery, I stumble and drop something, and he smiles in the way that like... he totally loves that about me... ) so guess its a lot to do with that too XD
But for me, I can see it being a big pain... so glad that I dont have to deal with someone like me >.> I'd go insane XD
But for me, I can see it being a big pain... so glad that I dont have to deal with someone like me >.> I'd go insane XD
Well, when we love someone, we don't necessarily get bugged by stuff that might seem "weird" by strangers. Love is a pretty powerful thing and it does sort of level the playing field, so to speak. I think a lot of non-aspies would be very happy to try out stimming if the aspies in their lives opened up and shared it with them. Or at least explained it to us, so that we could be relaxed about what's really going on. I think to a lot of non-aspies, unexpected stimming feels like a sign that maybe there's more "wrong" than just the stimming. Sorry, but it's pretty much true for most uninitiated NTs. It's just the way NT instinct handles "unusual" things. Most people find common, knowable surroundings comforting. Like if you said "hello" to me and I said, "selamat" in response, it would catch you off guard, maybe make you uncomfortable and leave you not quite knowing what to say in return (it means "greetings" in Bahasa Indonesia, btw). People tend to get a bit weirded out by social situations where the rituals are foreign and they don't automatically know exactly what to do. Stimming is unexpected and alien to most people, so strangers will usually find it a bit off-putting -- and they think it's your fault (and I"m sure you worry it's yours too), but really it's their preconceived ideas about what "people always do" that's causing the problem. But if you teach your friends and loved ones what your stimming means to you, and then, possibly teach them some of your "moves" or at least share one or two with them, it just opens up all kinds of nice feelings for everyone. And the more we reach out to people with our differences and include them in them, the less and less different those differences become!
For now, unfortunately, "the world" seems to disapprove of stimming, especially disruptive (noisy and/or boisterous), constant stimming, but on a person-by-person basis, maybe it's just doesn't always have to be so. (stimming emoticon ==>)
Last edited by Feyhera on 27 Jul 2009, 4:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
25 Jul 2009, 4:40 pm
ColdBlooded wrote:
Hmm... I don't know if this is related, but there are some NTs on my mom's side of the family who do a lot a stimmy-type behaviors. My mom, for example, is extremely NT. I got her to take that AQ test online one time just for fun and i think she got something like a 9.... But, she rocks quite a bit and also bounces or otherwise repetitively moves her legs and feet a lot. My grandfather is also very NT, but whenever i'm sitting at the table playing a board game or something with him, i always see him rubbing his fingers together when he's thinking.
Ok, that just made me remember something really cool from way back in my childhood... When I was little, I used to lay on the couch with my mom when we watched TV. She'd have her hand resting on my arm and unconsciously, she'd start like counting with her fingertips, you know, just pressing lightly with her thumb, then her index finger, then her middle finger, then her ring finger and then her pinkie... and then she'd start over again! I used to find that soooo soothing! She also used to do this hum-whistle sound as she walked around the house doing chores. I could always tell where she was from the distance of the sound and I love that sound so much that I do it myself on purpose now. Once our family was having a chat about all our different little quirks and I mentioned these two things to her. She was so shocked that she'd done that for years and never realized it. She asked me to point out the hum/whistle thing the next time she did it and when I did she just laughed and laughed. She told me that doing it just makes her able to concentrate better... hello!... that's stimming! Another stimming NT! hee hee
(<= stimoticon!)Quote:
On a side note, this is how i usually explain the what caused my aspie-ish behavior in relation to genetics, in a simplified way: My mom is "normal," but rocks back and forth a lot. My dad is "normal," but obsesses about things and keeps going back to the same topic in a conversation. Then they had me, who rocks back and forth WHILE obsessing over things (and my sister, who does NEITHER...)
(and my sister, who does NEITHER...)LOL! That's like I always say, "I got my legs from my mom, and my b**bs from my dad" ... gee thanks dad
25 Jul 2009, 5:41 pm
irishwhistle wrote:
Feyhera wrote:
Do you intentional work at not stimming in front of your husband and others? I mean, he must know, right? Do you think you could ever include him in some of your stimming? Like maybe find one of your stims that he finds soothing and share it with him once in awhile?
It's become second nature to suppress my stims in front of others.
It sounds to me like some of the joy of stimming is derived from it being yours and yours alone, to some degree, and that's cool.
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I even had someone sitting next to me reach out and still my hands once. I have no idea what other people consider these motions to be,
Ah. Maybe I can shine some light on this for you. Most probably, she was being distracted by your constant movements, or just possibly, she was one of those people who needs to have complete control of their environment to the point of thinking they have the right to correct complete strangers' behavior. Uncool. Either way, she was very rude to actually touch you like that if she didn't already know you real well and hadn't also already gotten your permission to do that to you beforehand. NT social rules say that if someone is doing something that doesn't cause anyone harm, even if it's annoying, no-one has the right to touch another person's body to make them stop. She was way out of line!
But she has two polite alternatives she could do instead:
Her first polite alternative is to politely ask you to stop, ie, "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude and please don't take offense, but when you constantly move your hands like that, it distracts me from being able to concentrate on class. Could you try to stop for awhile, please?" She should then find you after class and take you aside and apologize again. That would be your opportunity to share the concept of stimming and what a positive thing it is for you, if you wanted to. If not, the polite thing to say is, "No, it's ok. I understand. I'm sorry too. I just hope you were able to concentrate ok."... then you can change the subject..."So, what do you think of our professor?"
Her second polite alternative is to just simply get up and change seats so that she can't see your stimming. This second one is the the least socially acceptable because most NTs understand that we could offend the person we're moving seats to get away from, or that other person may end up sitting alone and NTs have an innate need to not purposely isolate anyone if they can help it (I've heard this referred to by some aspies as "the NT herding instinct", not too PC, but a close analogy).
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...but she in any case was always an insufferable know-it-all so I'm sure she had her own deep clinical explanation for why my hand movements were bad. I have moved and do not respond to her e-mails.
Good for you. There are just too many nice people on this planet for any of us to have to put up with jerks. And jerks deserve to find out that their behavior has consequences... if they don't stop being icky, they end up alone, and then they either change their ways or live a life of solitude.
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One gets tired of never being able to be right about anything she didn't already know first, and being told how much you've improved since you first came there. Improved in what way, exactly?
Holy crap!! It sounds like she was very arrogant and self-important. I'm sorry she said those things to you. Wow.
I guess she thought she was helping. But I've learned in my life that help is only help when it's asked for or accepted when offered. Help that's thrust upon us without our consent is really INTERFERENCE, and no help at all!Quote:
But I wander. I do not have any particular stim I care to share with him. I don't know why I would. These are not hobbies, nor are they things I do for enjoyment. I am not even conscious of their having any soothing effect upon me except in the sense that not doing them for prolonged periods would cause additional stress.
If they're yours and they're private, then that's cool too. But, as I understand it, aren't stims a"coping skill", if you will? As in, when tension rises, stimulation of one or more of the senses brings relief or breaks a cycle of turmoil that could lead to a meltdown?
25 Jul 2009, 6:04 pm
bhetti wrote:
I wish my husband would stim. he recognizes when I'm at the edge and does all the right things, but I haven't been able to figure out how to do the same for him
Have you asked him to stim with you yet? I mean, if he's totally there for you, like when you're "at the edge", I bet, if the moment was right and you had nothing better to do for a few hours, you guys could discover/invent/share some stims together. I'm learning here (and having some recollections from my own life) that NTs stim. Just in really subtle, less noticable ways. AS stimming seems to be a bit more ritualized (?), what I mean is, more patterned and repeated. And maybe a bit more intense than NT stimming seems to be. But I think aspies get a bit more overwhelmed than the average person and so their stimming reflects that. Interesting...
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your story is beautiful, I wish there were more people in the world like you.
(((hugs))) thank you, bhetti.
