How should I handle this situation?

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From what I can tell it's an autistic get-together and the girl in the group obviously has friends who like her who visit her house to be in the group so can we please not all assume she's a horrible person?
Fukai, maybe you should go one more time, then decide? Since you had the talk with the girl's mother?

Bear in mind that meetings like this are an opportunity for young autistic people to learn and develop their social skills in a social environment where "abnormal" is normal. I doubt there's anybody in the group who doesn't need to spend time developing their social skills. Maybe you should focus on how you can help each other rather than pointing and accusing. We get enough of that in the outside world. Maybe your social skills would benefit from trying to deal with the situation instead of complaining about it. You have asperger's too, you know how hard it is.

I'm sorry about all of this. I want to clear something up about myself (I don't want any pity):
I have become very sensitive to certain words about racial stereotypes due to being abused: verbally, socially, sexually, emotionally, and mentally from the time I was in school. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was "pointing" fingers at one or a few people due to their symptoms being different than mine. If it sounded that way I am sorry. But, I am in the same kind of situation at my apartment. I am constantly being ridiculed by my neighbors for racial reasons, including for being adopted. I have been in my apartment for about a month, and this apartment is for the "mentally-ill", which I am trying my best to adjust, and when I am out in public and when I hear any words like: "nappy", "light-skinned", "Japanese", I literally can't take it. I have told my therapist, but once again she just says it's paranoia, and so does my parents. I'm really stuck. I don't feel safe anywhere anymore.
And I wanted to say that, please try to think when was the last time when you encountered someone who had a disability of any kind, and their behavior was "uncalled" for, and it offended you. And I mean, really offended you. But, anyone with a disability of any kind can learn social grace and manners. What I'm trying to say is, when a child with a disability is born into a family, it takes more than just love and caring to raise that child. It takes as much patience and education and understanding and endurance from everyone within and outside of the family. If just one person from anyone of those places misses out on one those things, that can really damage the child's future and well being. Okay, maybe that was too much being said. Forgive me. Like I said, I'm not a parent.

I'm confused.. is this a get-together for people with AS, or is it an exclusive social thing?

Sensitivity to racial comments isn't exactly an unusual or unreasonable thing, and I don't see how a group for aspies (pretty much all of whom have probably had problems with bullying) could neglect to address the issue, or make it seem like it's your fault for being bothered by it.

I feel like I'm missing something here..

If racist remarks were made, there's absolutely no reason you should put up with it and I think it's outrageous to use AS as an excuse for this kind of behaviour. I know we all struggle with all kind of issues, but hurting others in order to cope is just unacceptable. You already seem to have been deeply affected by similar incidents and if you'll only harm yourself further if you let others intimidate you into tolerating such abuse.

If the woman that organise this can't handle things, she should find someone to help her, not try to guilt-trip you into accepting to be harassed.

Do you have a friend or someone that can come with you and validate your story if the hostess doesn't believe you?

I know that you feel guilty, and you think that you've overstepped your boundries. Sometimes, it's a trait of people who have been pushed around a lot. They start apologizing too much, and think that everything is their fault.

This is not your fault.

Any parent with their head on straight would be absolutely mortified if they found out that their 21 year old son/daughter of normal intelligence was behaving in such a manner towards their guests. Instead, this mother denies that her daughter is capable of such wrong-doing.

Because you think that she has authority, simply by being an NT parent, you begin to doubt your own reliability on this one. Don't let that happen. Parents are not always correct, especially ones that are constantly making excuses for their kid's behaviours (even well into adulthood).

Why MUST this gathering be held at this woman's house? Why not a community centre?

Come to think of it, why do you even NEED an NT chaperone? You're all adults, here. I can understand someone to make sure that people know where to go, but why not an adult with AS?

If she still insists on it being held in her house, despite the burden on her, it might be because the group really IS to benefit her daughter more than anybody else. She might claim that her daughter feels "too overwhelmed" by the outside world to hold the meetings anywhere else.

In the parents section, there is a thread about a conflict with a boy with AS who needed Scout meetings to revolve around him due to anxiety problems, and it really made everyone in the troop pretty bitter. I forget the link, but it's still there. This sounds like it might be a similar situation, only with adults.

Sometimes, when people revolve their plans around someone, that person can develop an attitude of entitlement. In this case, it's the entitlement to behave like an immature brat. Despite the possibility that some of it MIGHT be a misunderstanding, I would still keep my distance from this girl in the future. I would maybe expect that kind of nasty behaviour from a pre-teen with AS, but certainly not a grown woman.

I don't know how to say this without getting totally racial, but aren't most video games coming out of Japan?

Anyway, no you are not a parent, but nobody should be a victim of racism. I don't know anyone who is Aspergers that thinks its okay to scream "Japanese, Pokemon" at a Japanese person. Even the young ones know better. Sometimes they make comments that come out wrong, but not that obvious. But, I understand that there is a possibility for a misunderstanding with this daughter, but it sounds to me this daughter is looking for any kind of attention. I'm not going to suggest to continue going to the meetings, but if you do, next time you hear the daughter scream something from the basement you think is geared to you, get up, go to the basement, and ask her politely. If she gets rude, turn around and walk out, and I would probably make a comment to the mom like, "You obviously got your hands full with your daughter that you don't have room for any guests." I've had racist comments made at me for the men I choose to date, and I usually find that asking someone to admit they are racist by asking them to repeat what they said and clarify what they meant usually solves the problem. But sometimes I get people who will say, "You heard me, and you know what I meant." Since I'm usually ready for a fight, I usually will try to turn it into one, so from this point on, I can't give any good advice.

I do like the idea of informing the autism organization that is supporting this group of the situations you have encountered. Also, the NAACP would have a field day with this, but I'd be afraid that they would try to say that the Aspergers makes that girl racist. You might want to consider the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) too for certain things going on (like your housing situation), and isn't there some sort of equal housing group? Also, the state's Attorney Generals office is a good one to call when you have some problems, and no organization is allowed to claim non-profit status if it's a hate group, so the IRS might find the racial comments interesting at these meetings too.

The problem, unfortunately, isn't the daughter but the mother who enables the bad behavior. I don't think there's much you can do about that just like I can't jump in your world and beat up everyone that has screamed racial profanities in your direction (no matter how much I would like to do that for you).