If you have little to no friends...

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Thanks for clearing that up!

I am quite happy with not having friends. I have people I know that I work with, and neighbors, but in the general sense of friendships---I basically have no friends. I do enjoy my family---and that is enough for me. I am happy with life---and that includes the lack of a social life. It's not that I dislike people, it's just that social interaction has always been quite awkward for me---and I (like many others here at the WP) tend to avoid that which makes us feel awkward. My joy comes in my family and my special intense interests.

I have some friends and I have a few very good friends. As much as I do enjoy interacting to a degree, I would prefer spending an afternoon alone over hanging out with a crowd. Sometimes when I am in the mood I enjoy meeting up with a friend for coffee or something though.

I'm quite happy with the very little social interaction that I have. I have a few hobbies to do on my own like reading, drawing, writing that takes up much of the day so I'm fine being on my own. Oh and let's not forget doing the housework and walking the dog. That takes up much of my time.

I have 2 friends. 1 I see once a year the other about 3 times a year.

My real friend is my teenage aspie son. We do everything together.

Someone mentioned the problem of always thinking about what to do and what not to do, and I think that's why I get so tired from socializing, generally. I realized growing up that I was considered weird and I got these icy looks that made me feel terrible inside. So I taught myself, with the help of a socially gifted friend, to behave "normal" and suppress my natural state of being.

I still do that, to a degree, when I'm around people, but I don't put on a show for my spouse or my children, so their company is usually relaxing for me (except the kids can be very demanding, but I'm told that's their ages:1 and 4). Saturday I actually went out with my brother and his girlfriend and my little sister and met up with an old friend of mine (who says he's NT, but I have my doubts). I had a really nice time, but although I limited my interaction to my brother and my friend, I was still exhausted the day after and felt like I wanted to crawl into a cave.

I think for a while I managed to convince myself that my act was the truth, but the diagnostic process made me rediscover my autistic nature. I'm contemplating whether to let go of the act altogether and just be as weird as I was as a kid again. I'll still do the social niceties of course, I don't want to be rude, but maybe I'll allow myself to speak and behave the way I feel inside. It's not like I have anything to lose.

Very happy. I like my alone time.
The few friends that I have are awesome; they're worth more than a million other people.

I actually have quite a few friends in real life, although making them has been a long and at times painful process which has involved a lot of mistakes.

Nonetheless, I think it's worth it. Unlike some who have posted on this thread, I quite enjoy the company of others and don't want to be a hermit (although I always want some time to myself).

Last edited by Locustman on 28 Jul 2009, 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

It all depends. The answer to this question can go either way, both happy and unhappy. The kind of "friends" I had in the past weren't really what most would consider "friends". So, I am happy I ditched them and am wise enough now to not become dependent on these types.
Idealized versions of friends who are there for me, accept me flaws and all, respect me, put in a good word for me here and there, who wouldn't want more of those? I don't know if there is such a thing, however, so I'll stick with being happy.

I'm pretty much totally isolated. Doesn't really upset me to be honest. But, I guess I do miss my best friend from High School, since we talked mostly about sports and he had a sense of humour similar to mines. But since High school I haven't had what I would describe as friends. Unlike my best friend from High School, they tended to use me, and take advantage of my naivety. True friends are hard to find.

I don't have any friends, per say, that a hang out with and do things with. However, there are a few people I talk with online.

I'm quite happy - I hate people.

I'd have to say I'm somewhat unhappy. Having barely any friends isn't the end of the world to me. I haven't had any real friends for several years so I'm use to it. I can deal and live with it because that's what I'm accustomed to now. So sometimes I can be content with being alone. However, I would be lying if I said I wasn't at times unhappy because I can be. I certainly would like to have a group of friends that I feel very comfortable with and hang out with all the time, even if it's like three people or so. It doesn't have to be a lot of people. I'd be very happy if I had few close friends like Jerry Seinfeld had on the show Seinfeld. Sure that's just a TV show but I'd be happy living in his shoes. Really though I think the main problem is I haven't found any people I'm capable with. I'm too different and my limited social skills makes getting friends that much harder. There could be people who tried to be my friend in the past and somehow, I may not have been able to pick up on that. I have a very hard time trusting anyone so I can't become friends with people I just met. I'd have to know them for a while.

On one hand, I'd like to have at least one friend. But on the other hand, friendships are really stressful to me. There are good things about having friends, but those aren't enough to outweigh all the stress. Plus, I really do like being on my own. My favorite activities and hobbies are things I can do alone.

My social life is becoming too much of an interference to my hobbies. I don't even like hanging out unless we're actually doing something fun.

I'm happiest with limited (but not no) social interaction, but have much of the time had a few friends that I had pretty much broken in, ie, they accepted my needs and I was very used to them. Unfortunately I've arrived at that time in life when my friends are beginning to die! Since I don't think friends are exactly interchangeable, I can't go out and get a replacement to fill the void on demand. I guess when it happens, it happens. Otherwise, I'm pretty happy with just my family, my neighbors, and my "special interest" acquaintances. So I'd say I'm a bit unsettled at the moment.

I consider it prudent for relatively short-term periods of time. I personally don't believe that it is a long term solution for people on the spectrum. Regardless of our status, it seems natural enough that we would benefit from a social network of some kind. We are a social species. Life is easier if you've got other people to help you out. That seems like a universal truth to me. That doesn't mean that we have to be gregarious and outgoing and fake our way into friends. It means establishing the basic kinds of relationships that ease our journey through life.

I don't have much in the way of friends. One, perhaps. That's about it. I see myself in the middle on your poll. I don't feel motivation to acquire many friends, but I don't want to be utterly alone. I can deal with 3 or 4 people at a medium-distant proximity; people I can spend time with and talk to on a regular basis, but whom do not require in-depth social maintenance and reciprocity. People I can call on if I am in trouble or need help. I don't have that right now, and life is harder because of it.

It seems to me like a lot of people here who glamorize or glorify total solitude are not truly "living alone". They are being provided for by parents, guardians, or others. They are able to retreat into themselves because of other people. I did this extensively when I was a teenager. Living at home, I could ignore the social world, and exist in the comfortable world inside my room. Other people took care of me so that I could be by myself.

As an adult, I've suffered because of the lack of other people in my life. I've tried, and failed, to do everything by myself, and had to fall back on family for assistance. I do have a genuine desire to fill the gap that is present because of the absence of meaningful friendships. In the back of my mind, I wish that I were a solitary hermit wandering through the forest. But then I think about, "what if something happened to me?" I'd want someone to be there.

Anyways.... for people on the spectrum, I consider solitude to be a periodic necessity, but not a lifestyle.