Getting PMs from people you don't know...

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Woodpecker
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02 Aug 2009, 1:47 am

The thing is until you make friends with someone they are a stranger to you, or if you are super optimistic or naive you could write "There is no such thing as a stranger, they are only friends you have not meet".

But I would warn people to keep their heads switched on to make sure that they do not fall victim to the on line version of Myra Hindley.

I have thought about the some of the possible different random messages which you could get and what the best thing to do in each case is.

1. A stranger on WP writes a PM to you after hearing that you are ill, injured or in trouble offering you their best wishes and hoping that things get better.

Reply to this it is a kind hearted person.

2. A person telling you about something you have never posted.

Check what you have posted, then send them a polite PM telling them that you think that they have mistaken you for someone else. It happened to me once when someone got the authors in a thread mixed up.

3. Something rude, sexual or threatening, eg "I want to $%£& you and £$%&* etc"

Do not reply, instead tell a mod

4. Someone trying to sell you something, eg "Do you want to buy Viagra, timeshare, new hard disk, stocks and shares etc"

Do not reply, instead tell a mod

5. A stranger on WP writes to you about some topic you have posted on, they might be offering you an insight or information.

Do reply, also they might become your friend

6. A stranger who has asked you to get involved in a controversial matter, who is trying to recruit you to fight his battle.

Do not reply, instead tell a mod

7. A stranger who asks you to get involved in some commercial activity which looks too good to be true. That may well be some new version of the 419 fraud.

Do not reply, instead tell a mod

There are more types of messages from strangers which I can not think of right now. My advice is to always think before you reply or do anything.


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Tory_canuck
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02 Aug 2009, 1:56 am

It depends on the content and the user and the rest is up to my discretion.I judge each PM individually.I am usually open to dialogue, but if it;s creepy or if it's spam, I ignore it.


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MsDoubt
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02 Aug 2009, 3:10 am

Well the bottom line still stands. if someone doesn't reply. it's because they didn't want to, not because they fail to, or they forget (which sometimes happens). When i dont reply to messages its because I don't want to talk to that person. I'll put it out there fair and sqaure. everyone knows they get ignored or ignore people because they dont want to talk to that person. No body's busy. if someone is busy, they wouldnt be online. So back to the Op's question. if it's something totaly rediculous, just ignore it.



Danielismyname
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02 Aug 2009, 3:16 am

I often fail to reply to PMs, but that's because I have this thingy, that thingy, what's it called? O yeah, autism.

It's nothing personal, it's just that interpersonal communication is far closer to "reality", and I innately ignore that (what's reality? That thing all those other people partake in).

If I can talk to someone, I'll have to see them post out in the open for a long time, to make it more comfortable.



Who_Am_I
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02 Aug 2009, 3:18 am

MsDoubt wrote:
Well the bottom line still stands. if someone doesn't reply. it's because they didn't want to, not because they fail to,


That's not true; it is perfectly possible for someone's written communicative ability to fail. It's no different to being unable to find/form words when one is speaking verbally.


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zen_mistress
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02 Aug 2009, 4:09 am

Its also possible to want to communicate more with people online but not have the energy to keep up with it all, or the ability to process a lot of visual stuff, or the organisation skills to remember to do it.


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Jacoby
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02 Aug 2009, 4:11 am

It depends on the PM/who's sending it. I'd probably type out a response, think too much about it, then decide against sending it.



Henriksson
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02 Aug 2009, 4:19 am

The only PMs I send it is replies to PMs which people have sent to me, but this thread gives me quite an urge to send PMs to everyone who posted... must resist urge... :D


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Henriksson
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02 Aug 2009, 4:34 am

1. Henriksson writes a PM to you after hearing that you are ill, injured or in trouble offering you their best wishes and hoping that things get better.

Do not reply, instead tell a mod

2. Henriksson telling you about something you have never posted.

Check what you have posted, then send them a polite PM telling them that you think that they have mistaken you for someone else. It happened to me once when someone got the authors in a thread mixed up. Henriksson has probably eaten too much candy again.

3. Something rude, sexual or threatening, eg "I want to $%£& you and £$%&* etc"

Do reply, with a message saying 'Har har, very funny'.

4. Henriksson trying to sell you something, eg "Do you want to buy Viagra, timeshare, new hard disk, stocks and shares etc"

Do not reply, instead tell a mod. Henriksson never gets involved with such activities, so someone must have infiltrated his account.

5. Henriksson writes to you about some topic you have posted on, they might be offering you an insight or information.

Do reply, also they might become your friend. Though he's probably just being a smug bastard.

6. Henriksson has asked you to get involved in a controversial matter, who is trying to recruit you to fight his battle.

Join the Revolution/Hide in the basement

7. Henriksson asks you to get involved in some commercial activity which looks too good to be true. That may well be some new version of the 419 fraud.

Do not reply, instead tell a mod. Henriksson never gets involved with such activities, so someone must have infiltrated his account.


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Who_Am_I
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02 Aug 2009, 8:56 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:
How can you tell if someone deletes your PM? I know we can tell if our PM has been read but I am not sure if it stays in our unread inbox when the person just deletes it without opening it.


I just tested it by sending a message to myself, deleting it without reading it, and checking my outbox. It disappeared from my outbox.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Maggiedoll
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02 Aug 2009, 9:27 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
If I have enough social fuel (even online, my supply is limited), I'll reply. If not, I'll try to reply, fail, and feel bad about making people think I'm ignoring them.


Ditto



Dragonfly_Dreams
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02 Aug 2009, 9:51 am

I reply if I can. Unless its too complicated for me to understand WHY the person is sending the message. Sometimes I get creepy PM's, and I'm not really sure if they're creepy and trying to gain something... or if the person is being nice.



serenity
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02 Aug 2009, 10:25 am

I almost always reply to PMs, of course with the exception of obvious spam. However, it can take me a long time to reply. Sometimes, I just don't have anything to say back, and I have to for the social part of my brain to switch on to think of something. If I've been overloaded recently in real life, or on-line with social stuff that switch can take awhile. It takes me quite some time to think of what I want t say, put it into words, and type it all out. In this way, it really isn't all that different than real time communication. I can't always translate my thoughts into words.

I rarely ever get PMs, though, and even more rare that I send any, so it's not much of an issue with me.



activebutodd
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02 Aug 2009, 10:43 am

I've been told that all behaviour is communication, so I try to keep that in mind with PMs I receive.

If it seems friendly and legitimate, I will possibly reply. This may go on until neither of us has any more to add, and the conversation ends naturally with no rejection implied.

If I don't feel sure I want to get involved in a conversation or like the direction it could go, I'll just ignore the PM. Not buy into it or continue it with dialogue.

If I truly think there's something wrong with the PM, I'll tell a mod.



jamieg
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02 Aug 2009, 1:08 pm

if it seems like spam or trying to get information then the button called block helps

if they are only wanting help to learn to play a game that i play then i will answer



02 Aug 2009, 1:31 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
How can you tell if someone deletes your PM? I know we can tell if our PM has been read but I am not sure if it stays in our unread inbox when the person just deletes it without opening it.


I just tested it by sending a message to myself, deleting it without reading it, and checking my outbox. It disappeared from my outbox.



But to do you know if goes to your read outbox?