Katie_WPG wrote:
He's probably noticed that the other children keep their distance from him, and talk down to him. It's pretty common for children with TA's to be shunned by their peers (especially when the TA isn't around).
This is pretty much what happened to me.
It's one of the reasons why I still feel sick in the stomach every time I hear the words "Asperger's Syndrome" to this day. Looking back, I think I was bullied by some of the other kids because of it.
I used to be frightened of the word autistic too because I noticed that all the adults around me acted fearful and/or hostile towards me whenever it was mentioned. That's why in my early years, I thought that autistic meant that there was "something wrong with someone" like a "disease", because that's what all the adults around me seemed to keep implying. That's why I felt angry and confused: I didn't feel "ill" at all and honestly didn't understand what I was doing "wrong". I thought that it was the rest of the world around me that was crazy and the kids were being deliberately horrible to me by not letting me join in their games.
Katie_WPG wrote:
If he wants a fresh start in middle school, then he doesn't want the baggage following him around. If he can meet some new kids who didn't know about the special ed in elementary school, then he might have a chance at actually making some friends.
Agrees with this.
When I moved onto another school and had the label removed, I wasn't treated nearly as badly. I was seen for who I was and not a label. People also didn't pre-judge me as much: they wanted to get to know me on a deeper level as a human being because they weren't scared off by the label or a TA.
It felt good to get rid of that baggage at the time anyway.
Katie_WPG wrote:
It may not be a very kind thing to say, but your profession kind of is social suicide to a child who is already different enough. No one that I've ever known who had a TA ever had any friends in the time period that they had the TA.
I agree with this too.
It is unfortunately I think a kind of 'social suicide'.
I think it can stunt social development.
This is a shame because many TAs are really nice people who mean well and honestly want to help the kid concerned. But it's a question of providing the appropriate help.
I had very few friends when I had a TA.
It was one of the lowest points in my life.
I had one or two acquaintances, but even they found it hard to connect and understand me at times. In hindsight, I think that they may have been roped in by the TA (at least to start with). It could have been far worse though.
When I no longer had a TA, I had the freedom to make my own friends and people to make friends with me. Socialising wasn't always easy, but I enjoyed it.
It's well meaning, but what can one do?
Sometimes, as was in my case, it could be the culture, teaching methods and physical environment of the school that's causing the kid to act out.
It's funny how I calmed down got on with the work happily (unaided) when I was placed in quiet learning environments that had a strong inclusive ethos. Socialising was still difficult though.
Tantybi wrote:
Like the whole point of Aspergers is the social deficits, so let's isolate the kids with social deficits because it will help them how?
Exactly.
When I was young, for me it just exacerbated the issues.
I remember being taken out of the classroom and feeling like a complete idiot.
Unfortunately, although the help was well meaning, I did think that quite a bit of it skirted around the main issue (I had difficulties socialising, so how was isolating me supposed to help exactly?) or the help was 'one size fits all' and completely inappropriate for me needs.
Sometimes I saw the exercises as so "babyish" and "inane" that I deliberately misbehaved.
As I look back on those exercises, some of them were just plain weird: such as having to say what was making a certain "foley" sound effect. I knew that cats meowed when I was three.
I often asked the question: "Why am I here?"
A lot when I was taken to the "special room".
It was nice to have the peace and quiet, but at the same time, I felt confused and resentful because no one attempted to explain what exactly was supposed to be "wrong" with me and why I was there.
It's frustrating for me, not to be told why things are occurring and not to be told "exactly where I stand" (what's expected). I find that kind of uncertainty and secrecy frightening, as much now as I did back then.
I like being told exactly what's going on and what I should expect: I don't like any nasty surprises.
I was also frequently excluded from PE and assembly because of the label.
I remember getting into trouble for crying.
I was crying because I could see the other kids going to assembly, but I had to be taken away to the "special room".
When I moved onto a new school and was included in proper activities (music, crafts, sports etc.) and assemblies (minus the label and the "special room") I felt a billion times better, friendlier and more involved. I felt like I actually belonged to the new school and did fantastically well.
And pupils came to ask me for advice! In fact many people (all probably NTs) were actually sat next to me so I could help/mentor them with their schoolwork! It's funny seeing the situation from both sides of the fence. Kind of ironic really too, seeing that people told me that I'd "never succeed" at my old school.
Tantybi wrote:
I can't help to think funding has an influence, at least in the states.
I think this is what happened in my country too.
Schools are entitled to extra funding if they have a certain number of "special" kids.
Yes. I've had that suspicion also.
Was I just an easy target?
I don't really like contemplating this question.
I would have appreciated a scientific and balanced explanation of why I was being given the label. All I received was negativity though. I was constantly being told that I couldn't do or wasn't allowed to do things because I allegedly had "Aspergers".
03 Aug 2009, 9:15 am
