[quote="Greentea"]1. The first time you went to see a specialist (Psychologist, Psychiatrist, therapist, whatever) for your problems, what were the problems you went to complain about? If you've never been to a specialist and you went next week, what would you complain of?
I've seen a number of psychologists throughout my life, from the time when I was a baby until after college. When I was a baby my parents took me to a child psychologist because I was delayed with speaking.
2. Have your complaints changed? If so, what did they become later on? What are they nowadays?
In elementary school I saw the school psychologist because of issues with repetitive thoughts I couldn't get out of my head.
Later on in High School I saw a licensed social worker that helped me out with my issues of shyness.
Then in College, I had issues of depression, anxiety, and occasional mood swings. I saw 3 psychotherapists and 1 psychiatrist. The reason I saw 3 psychotherapists is that our school had a limited number of psychotherapy sessions you could have. The 1st 2 psychotherapists were on campus and the 3rd one was off campus. My 3rd one recommended me to the psychiatrist that I was seeing at the same time.
After college I saw the psychotherapist that my dad recommended for maybe only a month or so.
Now, if I were to seek counseling I would need a life or career coach and someone to help me deal with family issues, or maybe I would want to see an autism specialist to verify my diagnosis.
3. What diagnosis/treatment/advice/whatever did you receive in each occasion?
When I was a baby, the one child psychologist that understood me, according to my parents, just told them to start teaching me 1 language at a time. At that time, my parents were trying to teach me Hebrew and English at the same time, so they decided to teach me English.
In elementary school, the psychologist had me put a check mark on a piece of paper every single time the repetitive thoughts would show up in my head. After carrying the paper around with me everywhere and sticking to it, this method did eventually work.
The psychotherapist that I had in high school was one of the few very good ones. She helped me turn my life around by giving me the ability to meet new friends by the time I got into college. She didn't focus as much on labeling or diagnosing me. Instead we just focused on the skills necessary to meet people. We would have ice breakers at the beginning of each session by practicing imaginary conversations with strangers. One of the 1st assignments involved looking at myself in the mirror and drawing my face. She also helped me to change my pattern of thinking from negative to more positive, which in turn helped me to discover positive aspects about myself, which in turn helped me improve my self esteem and confidence. Also, I think she was the one who 1st suggested that I either write in a diary or write a story in order to become more aware of, and cope with my feelings.
For a while, after entering college and meeting new friends I didn't need any more psychotherapy until a boy I was infatuated with moved away. Also, I wanted advice because one of my friends (she's my ex-friend now) was taking advantage of me at the time by asking me to eat out at restaraunts with her everyday, and having me pay for both of us each time without ever paying me back. At that point I saw the other 3 psychotherapists due to issues with mild depression and mood swings/anxiety attacks. The 1st psychotherapist on campus gave me advice about the situation with my ex-friend and showed me how to do deep breathing exercizes to relax. Other than that, the 1st 2 to psychotherapists on campus were only good for helping me to temporarily relieve anxiety by being there for me to talk to. Though, they didn't do a good job with getting to the root cause behind the general difficulty of coping on my own. Neither did the psychologist that was off campus.
The off campus psychologist was the one that diagnosed me with Asperger's. At the same time I felt relieved to be given a reason why I had felt so different from my classmates when I was a kid, I didn't like the negativity in his attitude. Even though he said that I am not diseased, and that my brain is wired differently I didn't like the way he treated me otherwise. I felt that he tried to help me by using scientific techniques instead of treating me as a person that needed an individual treatment plan. Instead of empowering me to find out on my own about what career path to take, he later on started telling me what jobs I should or shouldn't take, and about other things he thought that I should or shouldn't do. Also, after a few years, he didn't know how to get me to get over my infatuation so he recommended me to the psychiatrist. He said that he recommended me because of the underlying anxiety behind it, but at the time he recommended me without even enabling me to become aware of this anxiety. (Also, I had issues with nightmares/night terrors.) After my experience of getting off of one of the medicines I tried I decided that I didn't want to try any more but he kept on suggesting, time after time, for me to try more medications. Also, he kept on nagging me to see me diary and got offended when there were things I didn't want to talk about. Finally when I talked about some things he would say some annoying commentaries or judgements under his breath. One day I just snapped at him and insulted him. (I regret that I did that.) At that point he started attributing my bad behavior to having Asperger's even though I knew that what I was doing was wrong. I didn't agree that AS was the reason behind my behavior, and I felt that he should have considered past trauma as more of a stronger reason. I felt as if he just treated me like a label from that point on.
The psychiatrist thought that maybe I had borderline Schizotypal Personality Disorder, and wasn't sure about whether to put me on antidepressants or antipsychotics. At 1st I tried a low dose of a mild anxiety drug called Buspar, but I felt even more depressed because I felt less happiness along with less anxiety. The psychiatrist said that a part of the process of finding out which drug works best for you is experimental, and the whole idea of experimenting with the unknown freaked me out and I didn't want to try any more medications. At that point the psychiatrist agreed that I had a good reason for not wanting to experiment with them. He said that, due to their side effects, he would only recommend psychiatric medication for people that are severely impaired with their ability to function.
The psychotherapist my dad recommended after college didn't really give me a lot of useful advice, so I cancelled my appointments with her after a month. The only good advice she gave me was on how to dress appropriately for a job interview.
Sorry that this is so long.
03 Aug 2009, 4:00 pm
