Why is it that I always get hated on other forums?

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This could be because she feels your position on Lima beans is a threat to her persona, whereas with Aspies it's just a fact that better helps explain your persona, plus she's your mom so may feel a threatening dynamic in that she's "supposed" to be your boss and in control.

I know that all sounds so immature but it is what it is.

I've been banned from all conventional forums, for saying the king is nude.

I haven't been banned from unconventional forums, though. I'm actually welcomed in them.

I've even been a member of a forum for LGBT for years, where straights (like me) are not welcome, and they pretend to barely tolerate me and to always be on the verge of kicking me out, but I know they actually like me very much, because they participate in my threads and are very nice to me. I guess they don't see a reason to ban me, as I'm even more pro-diversity and against bigotry than they themselves are. They always joke about all the creative ways they could get rid of crazy, autistic, weird, straight, "troll" me, but they never complained about me to the owners and they find my threads insightful and funny. I also have a few friends of years there, some of whom were banned from another forum together with me, for saying the king is nude, just like me. I'm just part of the landscape there... I contribute a lot to their community and they've done wonders for me too, so we co-exist in peace. I'm teased no end there, but that's because I'm the only woman except for another one, who is a lesbian of course. I find their teasing hilarious, so we never get seriously angry, though we pretend to be "fighting" all the time. No one was ever vicious to me there. And they don't overreact to king is nude kind of comments, as they're older gays who've suffered enough from conventional society. They're very much like we older Aspies here in that sense.

I always ask myself, "If I correct them, will it be constructive?" That is to say, will it further their understanding of what I am saying? If not, I keep my mouth shut, despite the often overwhelming urge to correct them.

Case in point, a conversation that went wrong:

Wife: "There is a bug in the bathtub, can you extract it for me?"
Me (takes a look at it): "That's not a bug; it's a spider."
Wife:

It would have gone better like so:
Wife: "There is a bug in the bathtub, can you extract it for me?"
Me (takes a look at it and thinks to self): "That's not a bug; it's a spider, but it's obviously bothering her."
Me (aloud): "Sure, I will be happy to take it outside."

there are very few fora where I feel I can be myself... actually, this may be the only one.

one of the misapprehensions I operated under on one board is that the people on there were actually my friends. I noticed an attack pattern though, and after a while learned not to post anything too sensitive. I was told my son will end up in jail and it will be my fault, because I was angry at my ex for not advocating for my son, which resulted in him getting kicked out of camp for hitting another kid who bullied him into meltdown mode. I'm thinking of leaving that forum altogether, except one person on it is actually a friend who I spend time with once in a while and we use the board to schedule lunch dates.

on other boards I keep my personal life a mystery. I can't afford to let people know too much about me, because there are some real mean people out there who thrive on drama and name-calling. one board is a cult recovery board and I was attacked via post and PM by a couple of cultists, but it's a generally supportive community and I learned a bit about sticking up for myself through the attacks by keeping a reference on logical fallacies by my side.

there are just some people who need to hate, I think. and they congregate on certain fora and run in packs, just like IRL.

I have a similar problem on other forums, it seems to consist of:

- not wording my opinions properly. I sometimes say things that make sense to me but sound odd to others

- Attacking things that others accept as normal. On a metal forum where I used to post, people would say things like 'Respect for women is so mainstream' and this was accepted as just humorous. Predictably, I complained furiously with heavily thought out posts pointing out exactly why it was wrong. Other posters just felt that I had no sense of humour and was complaining about nothing.

Sounds like they were being purposefully provocative and you swallowed the bait... It's important to learn to determine when posters are being purposefully provocative and not waste time debating their views, because it's not their true views but just a tool, any tool, for provocation. Just for fun or because they like seeing others fall in the trap... I was coincidentially explaining this to another poster by PM the other day.

Greentea wrote:

This never occurs to me although I'm sure it's true. I guess because I truly do not understand the motivation behind it.

This falls under the concepts "lulz" and "pwned", whereby a poster (with tacit approval and well-wishing by other posters, hoping for lulz - i.e. lots of lolling) goes out of their way to trap someone (who is naive) into arguing in a thread, then proceeds to either humiliate them or catch them either unprepared to debate their points, or made to feel bad for getting defensive,and sometimes then the instigator goes off into a totally surreal/pseudo-psychotic response, etc. The "owning" of the naive poster is called "pwned", and the onlookers share in the "lulz".

They do it because without belittling others and "proving" that they did it successfully, they have nothing else in life. It's really an NT neurosis to want to play that as the instigator, to prove you are better than the person who fell into the trap, which is why I no longer post on certain forums as they are full of lulz-pwned sickos, aka bullies.

I know there are people who are proud of their mind-f#@k abilities because they think it proves their intelligence. Then there's the ever popular "because I can". Truth is I probably wouldn't recognize it happening to me. I only post on WP and on Facebook though. I know I'm considered naive by some-even by people younger-but I just don't see the use in expending that much mental energy in something so useless.

Believe me, if you paid attention to the posters who do this repeatedly, you can avoid getting hooked in; alas sometimes they change their handles and do it and hook the same unwitting ones over and over - but if you pay attention to posting style (and in some cases people have been known to collect spreadsheets and do keyword searches) you can usually tell who it is quickly, or failing that, just not respond until you are sure.

OR.... you can post here and avoid all that!

Agreed. For some reason there seems to be a template for the demography of an internet forum. There is always a large number of stupid and immature people, along with a smaller number of intelligent people who abuse that intelligence, only using it to put others down/make them feel small.

I couldn't tell you why.

Happily this place seems to be free of them.

Yes, I feel free here to bring out my inner Goober

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I’ve read a lot of your posts over a couple of years or so, and I doubt there is any good reason for such a phenomena. I have never encountered anything objectionable or offensive posted by you.

In fact, it's more often a phenomenon called BAITING. It's happened to me so many times that I can detect one of the provokers/baiters after a couple words they write. I don't usually answer them, and after a couple posts I stop reading their posts altogether. It's totally transparent to me nowadays whether someone is honestly debating a point or engaging in provocation, however subtly the baiters think they are acting. This is a useful skill to have in real life too.

The goal is often to get rid of a brilliant member they want to steal the hard-earned and well-deserved limelight of. They provoke the member until the member has a (logical) aggressive outburst and right there report him to the moderators.

Since moderators most often side with the majorities/the cliques/the populars/the charmers/their own friends/those who envy the brilliant one just like they do, the brilliant but naive member is promptly banned or intimidated into eternal silence, whereby the provoker gets their limelight (albeit, instead of brilliant insights, they use bullying, cliqueing, favoritism with the moderators, etc. OF WHICH THEY OFTEN HAVE PLENTY OF, OTHERWISE THEY WOULDN'T BE SO STUPID TO START A BAITING CAMPAIGN to keep that limelight).

Next stage, everyone is afraid of standing up to these bullies, seeing as the moderators back them up, and so people start being incredibly uncreative and politically correct in their posts, soon feel a vague discontent with the website, lack of motivation to contribute, start forgetting to log on, post less and less and ultimately leave.

As a consequence, the formerly extremely active forums become too slow, so new members don't stick, and besides they aren't stupid, new members notice there's an overabundance of clique and a scarcity of independent thinking members. With time, the website closes down for lack of activity and the owner goes on to dream of the good times past in nostalgia. He locks himself up with the monster, though, by keeping in touch regularly with the clique and the moderators that ruined his site.

Have seen this happen more times than I can count, if I include other businessess and not only website forums. Owners are often too blinded by enjoying the nasty game themselves to foresee their own ruin.

Of course, this could never happen on WP, because we don't have any trolls, provokers, envious moderators, cliquey bullies, or stupid owners. We only have brilliant, naive Aspies.

simple why you get hated on all other sites

you actually have a opinion different than what the news and politicians tell you to think and people do not want to decide for themself what to think

any opinion different than politicians tell them to beleive is hated

same thing happens to me