Anyone else notice this?

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Well, if they've known you in the long term, odds are they have it figured out that your just different. If they just met you in passing though yeah, it could be taken that way.

I think they were more interested in what she had to say rather than the fact she knew it. They probably didn't think of her intelligence at all but were intersted to hear that it was an inside job.

This is a bit of a tangent, but oh well. It annoys me the way "intelligent" people just gush out facts. I'm not very at remembering facts and putting them to any use, but I have alot of wisdom. It annoys me alot that most people can't see the latter in someone.

When i said that i thought that they were dumb i didn't word it right, i meant that i thought they were dumb for thinking that we all were so dumb that we didn't already know the things that they were talking about.

People who just spout facts and have no twist or opinion of their own about it annoy me, anyone can pick up a book and have the same opinion as the person who wrote it.

The type of conversation about the bank is one i'd only come across rarely, my friends (and i have only just realised this) don't do that at all, they spend the whole of the time together just joking and laughing. Taking the mickey alot too, which no one minds and everyone can come back with something equally as funny as the person before. I love that environment but i still can't see any eyeing eachother up subtley i actually don't think my friends care about that stuff. Or could it be that there is only me and one other girl in my group of friends? could this just be a women thing maybe?

I'll try and give you my .02 worth as an NT who is learning how to live with and raise a child with AS.

Your first statement is just way too many facts, TMI (too much information). This is a chit chat you're having, not a technical discussion on the merits of posi rear (I also happen to be a motor head). If you're just making polite social conversation, you have to keep it light, as in your second comment. The first one is better reserved for maybe the waiting room at Pep Boys.

And yes, many times I've been in a group where one person is saying something blatantly obvious and wellknown to the group (and persons at large), but it is just polite to agree with them rather than reply that you knew it. I've bitten my tongue many times when "no sh*t sherlock" was about to run rampant! LOL

As for them telling you, unfortunately if you come off as at all different, then they (being the NT's) won't feel any compunction whatsoever about telling you they know it already. They need to feel superior to you in order to feel they can remain part of their own original social strata. Agreeing with you would in some way mean being like you. Please don't take this the wrong way from me. I am just trying to give info, not making judgements on anyone, I live in a glass house myself.

Again, just my .02 as an NT who has been looking in through the glass at her son with AS for the last few years and finally starting to work it out.

It's a social dance done to avoid the more blunt truth, as many people prize the other person's feelings (or prize what they can gain from this person and therefore indirectly protect the other person's feelings) and do not want to cut in, correct them or say "Well, duh!" and by doing so avoid making the other person feel bad or even getting defensive for saying something so stupidly obvious. So they don't cut in and say anything but just ooh and ahh on cue.

I do it sometimes, but I've gotten good at not having to listen and just take cues from tone of voice to know what monosyllabic word or utterance is warranted. That way, I don't have to listen and they don't have to feel bad beginning that funny social dance and my not being interested.

The Social Tango.

Heh, I'm as surprised as ottily. I had no idea at all, that the chit-chatting is a means of weighing each other up.

Funny.. you learn something new every day.

Sophist - Yeah I do the same thing.. though I know that if the person would ask "what did I just say", I would be doomed.

Nomaken wrote-
It would be like walking down the street and seeing some dog sh** in plain sight and not feeling at all silly by saying, "There is dog sh** in front of us, remember to step over it so you dont step in it."
I'd gladly blow my brains out.




That is classic! I haven't the time nor the patience to pretend in those situations. It is tiresome and I feel like a fake if I do indulge. Usually, I will keep quiet. I do not have the need for as much social contact as some so it doesn't bother me to not play the game. (I hope I am not being a bad example.)
It's just so stupid to me that it ruins respect for the person's involved in the conversation. I guess you play along if it doesn't bother your conscience and if you want to connect with people more than you want to be yourself.

That doesn't sound so good. Maybe I should've quit after "That is classic!"

I have alot of problems with social clues too. It has taken years of friends telling me I'm missing something for me to accept I'm missing something. I still don't know what I'm missing. Sometimes I think people are interested in what I'm saying and later my wife or friend tells me I missed the body language from someone else that says they are done listening. Fortunately the people I spend time with mostly accept me for what I am and give me a break.