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Did your parents try to take away hobbies?

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Parents discourage your major interest?
Yes, totally repressed it, took things away, forbade 28%  28%  [ 11 ]
Nagged but took no other action 21%  21%  [ 8 ]
Disapproved but took no action 5%  5%  [ 2 ]
Neutral/disinterest 18%  18%  [ 7 ]
Mildly Supportive 13%  13%  [ 5 ]
Strongly supportive 15%  15%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 39

bhetti
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07 Sep 2009, 7:22 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
bhetti wrote:
LOL @ Willard

I have a hard time saying whether my mother was supportive or not. she seemed largely disinterested unless it effected her. at 14-15 I worked a part time job so I could have a horse. horses had been a ten year obsession, from what my mother said, and one I took up after I found out dinosaurs were extinct.

my mother showed up when I competed at country fair and acted all proud and took pictures, but when I got stranded trying to get home from the stable in a snowstorm because public transportation was on snow routes, she refused to come and pick me up. luckily the lady who had let me in her house (the only house for about 1/2 mile) to use her phone let me spend the night, otherwise I would have frozen to death or had to walk to the highway to hitchhike, which I'm sure other parents don't want their teenage daughters to do but which mine didn't care about because it saved her from being bothered.

financial problems made me lose the horse when my mother decided I should pay rent or move out. I was about 16. that was the end of getting to do anything equestrian.

Refused to come and pick you up? WTF? Was she being an idiot, or was she just incompetent driving in the snow?
she used to brag about how good she was at driving on snow and ice. I think it was just inconvenient so she didn't want to come and get me. so, idiot. I heard from another family member that my mom was dx'd with borderline personality disorder, so not wanting to fetch a kid from a snowstorm probably seemed like a perfectly good reason not to.



bhetti
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07 Sep 2009, 7:28 pm

Polgara wrote:
Makes me really, really appreciate how lucky I was not to be raised in a hive of NTs. Interests and hobbies were expected and accepted in my house. The parents can't very well have a problem with the kids doing what they also do! :D They didn't always understand me but also didn't think they must.
this is good. my son is very obsessed with certain things and I used to be concerned that he couldn't tell what was reality and what was a game, because he was constantly being compared to what's "normal". I did a lot of things wrong thinking I was helping him. now I know better. he's normal for him. now instead of trying to control it or put unrealistic limits on it, I just work on getting him to do things he should do, like shower and verbalize his dislikes instead of just yelling and stomping. it's way better for all of us now.



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07 Sep 2009, 7:34 pm

Sati wrote:
When I was in middle and high school I was absolutely obsessed with Sailormoon, and declared myself to be Sailor Saturn :roll: My mom thought that I was getting way into it and losing touch with reality because I spent so much of my time doing Sailormoon-related things (watching the anime, reading the manga, cosplaying, playing RPGs, collecting trading cards, etc) but she didn't forbid me from it. My dad didn't care. If I had been forbidden... my world would have ended right there!


That's just how my mom was with me and Sailor Moon. Then not just Sailor Moon but all my other interests. But I know just what you mean about your world having ended if they were forbidden. My parents tried that once. I went into quite a state of panic.



ShenLong
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07 Sep 2009, 7:35 pm

My parents love me the way I am. They don't show a lot of interest in my hobbies though.



Shebakoby
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07 Sep 2009, 7:37 pm

I never had money to buy anything, at least not outside 'birthday money'. My parents didn't believe in giving out allowances, since they believed it was giving kids money for nothing.



bhetti
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07 Sep 2009, 7:43 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
I never had money to buy anything, at least not outside 'birthday money'. My parents didn't believe in giving out allowances, since they believed it was giving kids money for nothing.
I kind of agree with them. I pay my kids for work, like doing their homework and turning it in on time, going to bed on time, doing extra chores like pulling weeds, etc. I think it's good for kids to have a taste of what it's like to earn something.



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07 Sep 2009, 7:45 pm

bhetti wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
I never had money to buy anything, at least not outside 'birthday money'. My parents didn't believe in giving out allowances, since they believed it was giving kids money for nothing.
I kind of agree with them. I pay my kids for work, like doing their homework and turning it in on time, going to bed on time, doing extra chores like pulling weeds, etc. I think it's good for kids to have a taste of what it's like to earn something.


My parents didn't believe in paying us kids for things we should be doing anyway.



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08 Sep 2009, 12:07 am

bhetti wrote:
LOL @ Willard

I have a hard time saying whether my mother was supportive or not. she seemed largely disinterested unless it effected her. at 14-15 I worked a part time job so I could have a horse. horses had been a ten year obsession, from what my mother said, and one I took up after I found out dinosaurs were extinct.

my mother showed up when I competed at country fair and acted all proud and took pictures, but when I got stranded trying to get home from the stable in a snowstorm because public transportation was on snow routes, she refused to come and pick me up. luckily the lady who had let me in her house (the only house for about 1/2 mile) to use her phone let me spend the night, otherwise I would have frozen to death or had to walk to the highway to hitchhike, which I'm sure other parents don't want their teenage daughters to do but which mine didn't care about because it saved her from being bothered.

financial problems made me lose the horse when my mother decided I should pay rent or move out. I was about 16. that was the end of getting to do anything equestrian.


In Canada it is ILLEGAL for a parent to force their minor child to pay rent and if the child refuses to such as by law and the parent kicks them out, the child can contact CAS, and the police, and have the parent criminally charged for child abandonment.


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Tory_canuck
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08 Sep 2009, 12:13 am

bhetti wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
bhetti wrote:
LOL @ Willard

I have a hard time saying whether my mother was supportive or not. she seemed largely disinterested unless it effected her. at 14-15 I worked a part time job so I could have a horse. horses had been a ten year obsession, from what my mother said, and one I took up after I found out dinosaurs were extinct.

my mother showed up when I competed at country fair and acted all proud and took pictures, but when I got stranded trying to get home from the stable in a snowstorm because public transportation was on snow routes, she refused to come and pick me up. luckily the lady who had let me in her house (the only house for about 1/2 mile) to use her phone let me spend the night, otherwise I would have frozen to death or had to walk to the highway to hitchhike, which I'm sure other parents don't want their teenage daughters to do but which mine didn't care about because it saved her from being bothered.

financial problems made me lose the horse when my mother decided I should pay rent or move out. I was about 16. that was the end of getting to do anything equestrian.

Refused to come and pick you up? WTF? Was she being an idiot, or was she just incompetent driving in the snow?
she used to brag about how good she was at driving on snow and ice. I think it was just inconvenient so she didn't want to come and get me. so, idiot. I heard from another family member that my mom was dx'd with borderline personality disorder, so not wanting to fetch a kid from a snowstorm probably seemed like a perfectly good reason not to.


As a parent, she has a DUTY to ensure you get home safely.She's lucky that a good samaritan helped you out, otherwise she'd be facing criminal charges for child neglect, and negligence causing death....I know...I sound like im getting carried away with the legal stuff...Law is one of my special interests...and my parents support it since it benefits them in situations where knowledge of law would come in handy.


_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.

ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!


Tory_canuck
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08 Sep 2009, 4:02 am

No...they were kinda neutral...they said they didnt mind me talking about politics, but told me not to go and talk only about politics everywhere I go such as dinners ....which I got carried away with alot of times....They kinda supported it in a way though...they drove me to Edmonton twice when Stephen Harper was there for party rallies a few years back...in 2007 before the CPC started defending censors and section 13. I have various books on the reform party, preston manning, stephen harper, and the conservative party, and now my new book, shakedown by ezra levant.


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Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.

ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!


duke666
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08 Sep 2009, 12:01 pm

My mom was TOTALLY supportive of my Special Interests. And she was very clever at getting me to vary them, and learn things from them. She would ask me questions about them that led me to make other connections.

One thing I did that my brothers didn't was play dress-up, just with myself. There was a box with costumes, and every day was Halloween for me <grin>. That wasn't a Special Interest, though. It was my way of exploring social interactions, and also visualizing history. The history part was a Special Interest. I was fascinated with how ordinary people lived in different situations, and how that would effect their thinking. Like the PBS 'Colonial House' experiment.


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ChangelingGirl
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08 Sep 2009, 1:56 pm

My parents nagged me out of "childish" hobbies when I was about 10-11, but they weren't really successful.



bhetti
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08 Sep 2009, 2:16 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
bhetti wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
I never had money to buy anything, at least not outside 'birthday money'. My parents didn't believe in giving out allowances, since they believed it was giving kids money for nothing.
I kind of agree with them. I pay my kids for work, like doing their homework and turning it in on time, going to bed on time, doing extra chores like pulling weeds, etc. I think it's good for kids to have a taste of what it's like to earn something.


My parents didn't believe in paying us kids for things we should be doing anyway.
yeah, that's what I got growing up. I never really bought into it though, and after seeing how excited my kids are to put effort into something and earn their own money for a luxury item that I'd get them at xmas anyway I decided it was better to prep them for life by rewarding them for working toward goals instead of having some imaginary dude in a red suit get them stuff by magic (with the accompanying questions of why santa doesn't like poor kids as much as rich kids).



bhetti
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08 Sep 2009, 2:42 pm

Tory_canuck wrote:
bhetti wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
bhetti wrote:
LOL @ Willard

I have a hard time saying whether my mother was supportive or not. she seemed largely disinterested unless it effected her. at 14-15 I worked a part time job so I could have a horse. horses had been a ten year obsession, from what my mother said, and one I took up after I found out dinosaurs were extinct.

my mother showed up when I competed at country fair and acted all proud and took pictures, but when I got stranded trying to get home from the stable in a snowstorm because public transportation was on snow routes, she refused to come and pick me up. luckily the lady who had let me in her house (the only house for about 1/2 mile) to use her phone let me spend the night, otherwise I would have frozen to death or had to walk to the highway to hitchhike, which I'm sure other parents don't want their teenage daughters to do but which mine didn't care about because it saved her from being bothered.

financial problems made me lose the horse when my mother decided I should pay rent or move out. I was about 16. that was the end of getting to do anything equestrian.

Refused to come and pick you up? WTF? Was she being an idiot, or was she just incompetent driving in the snow?
she used to brag about how good she was at driving on snow and ice. I think it was just inconvenient so she didn't want to come and get me. so, idiot. I heard from another family member that my mom was dx'd with borderline personality disorder, so not wanting to fetch a kid from a snowstorm probably seemed like a perfectly good reason not to.


As a parent, she has a DUTY to ensure you get home safely.She's lucky that a good samaritan helped you out, otherwise she'd be facing criminal charges for child neglect, and negligence causing death....I know...I sound like im getting carried away with the legal stuff...Law is one of my special interests...and my parents support it since it benefits them in situations where knowledge of law would come in handy.
I wish I'd known that then. I would have called the police after I hung up from talking to my mother, if that was the case. unfortunately she'd also alienated me from my father, who would have been glad to take me in, but my mother told me he never came to see me when I was little, but the reality is she turned him away at the door unless he could pay her child support, which he usually couldn't and which should have gone to the state anyway since she was on welfare.

law is also one of my special interests, particularly family law. it's come a long way since I was a kid, but it still has some really huge flaws.



Tory_canuck
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08 Sep 2009, 5:16 pm

bhetti wrote:
Tory_canuck wrote:
bhetti wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
bhetti wrote:
LOL @ Willard

I have a hard time saying whether my mother was supportive or not. she seemed largely disinterested unless it effected her. at 14-15 I worked a part time job so I could have a horse. horses had been a ten year obsession, from what my mother said, and one I took up after I found out dinosaurs were extinct.

my mother showed up when I competed at country fair and acted all proud and took pictures, but when I got stranded trying to get home from the stable in a snowstorm because public transportation was on snow routes, she refused to come and pick me up. luckily the lady who had let me in her house (the only house for about 1/2 mile) to use her phone let me spend the night, otherwise I would have frozen to death or had to walk to the highway to hitchhike, which I'm sure other parents don't want their teenage daughters to do but which mine didn't care about because it saved her from being bothered.

financial problems made me lose the horse when my mother decided I should pay rent or move out. I was about 16. that was the end of getting to do anything equestrian.

Refused to come and pick you up? WTF? Was she being an idiot, or was she just incompetent driving in the snow?
she used to brag about how good she was at driving on snow and ice. I think it was just inconvenient so she didn't want to come and get me. so, idiot. I heard from another family member that my mom was dx'd with borderline personality disorder, so not wanting to fetch a kid from a snowstorm probably seemed like a perfectly good reason not to.


As a parent, she has a DUTY to ensure you get home safely.She's lucky that a good samaritan helped you out, otherwise she'd be facing criminal charges for child neglect, and negligence causing death....I know...I sound like im getting carried away with the legal stuff...Law is one of my special interests...and my parents support it since it benefits them in situations where knowledge of law would come in handy.
I wish I'd known that then. I would have called the police after I hung up from talking to my mother, if that was the case. unfortunately she'd also alienated me from my father, who would have been glad to take me in, but my mother told me he never came to see me when I was little, but the reality is she turned him away at the door unless he could pay her child support, which he usually couldn't and which should have gone to the state anyway since she was on welfare.

law is also one of my special interests, particularly family law. it's come a long way since I was a kid, but it still has some really huge flaws.



I know of a site that has a forum specifically designed for activism in that area regarding fathers rights and non custodial rights.

Was there a reason for your mother to be on welfare such as a disability like aspergers or was she just lazy?I always inquire that in regards to "welfs" before making assumptions. In Alberta, for those with disabilities, we have AISH (assured income for the severely handicapped) or disability , EI (employment insurance for those laid off from work or on maternity or sickness), Workers Compensation (for those injured at work) and of course welfare, for the lazy and indolent.Many Albertans say that it is the province's way of sorting out the lazy from those who genuinely need assistance...and welfare in Alberta is NOT free handouts.....they call it Workfare.

Since she is refusing access to him and hindered you from seeing him, I think you can charge her with child abuse (emotional and psychological) criminally.


BTW-here is the site i was talking about with the activism board in that area

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/v ... m.php?f=44


_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.

ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!