What You're Doing Here Is Not Healthy, IMO.
12 Sep 2009, 6:49 pm
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
It's not about who is the most hated or rejected. It's about reality for some people and it has nothing to do with being anti social. I am not sure what kind of social reality some posters have. What if you try your best to be social, you just end up getting rejected, put down, abandoned, treated like a second class citizen, disrespected. It's got little to do with being anti social. For years I tried and failed more times than I can count. It's the Asperger's reality, it's not a contest. Most sites could care less about this particular problem, or worse, they put you down even more by calling you "anti social" or saying you are narcissistic or aren't trying or want to be this way so you are. Or, that you need counseling. Where else can you go to talk candidly about this particular problem than an autistic support site. Experiencing problems socializing is a part of the disability, can have a negative impact on people's lives and can leave one feeling powerless and hopeless from time to time.-
Why is it people assume it's "antisocial" behaviour? Antisocial means going out and spray painting grafitti on walls or kicking a random person in the shins.
Not being an effective socializer or lack of social reciprocity does not make one "antisocial"! I have no impulses to engage in anti social acts. I don't consider me to be antisocial in the slightest. In fact, I've known very socialable people who have done things that could be construed as antisocial, like writing in shoe polish on doors to businesses or on the windows of their friends cars.
If you cannot post candidly about such issues at autism support sites where else can you post about them? NTs certainly don't understand...that's for sure!
Why is it people assume it's "antisocial" behaviour? Antisocial means going out and spray painting grafitti on walls or kicking a random person in the shins.
Not being an effective socializer or lack of social reciprocity does not make one "antisocial"! I have no impulses to engage in anti social acts. I don't consider me to be antisocial in the slightest. In fact, I've known very socialable people who have done things that could be construed as antisocial, like writing in shoe polish on doors to businesses or on the windows of their friends cars.
If you cannot post candidly about such issues at autism support sites where else can you post about them? NTs certainly don't understand...that's for sure!
I'm going to respond to this post in segments. Segment one is the first section in bold, segment two is the second section in bold, etc.
Section 1: It's very sad that you think like this, and this is EXACTLY the attitude I was trying too get people out of with my post. PLEASE do not give up on integrating on a social level already! You're labelling everyone not Autistic and putting them into a box, and you perceive the box as people who are off-limits to you. THEY ARE NOT. You have given up, and it's sad to hear that, but for crying out loud, don't say flat out that the reality of living with Asperger's is being a social outcast! Do you have ANY idea how hard it is for people who initially get diagnosed with a form of Autism? They ALREADY think like this- HOWEVER, there's hundreds of successful people that you guys claim to have AS, so PLEASE, don't go saying that life with Asperger's is one of social isolation. It's just unfair on those who actually believe you.
Section 2: I totally understand people may need SUPPORT. However, my post is aimed at the threads which discuss NT customs, etc. or are have a negative outlook on the reality of Asperger's. I feel that the ratio of threads which offer genuine support compared to the number of threads which just dwell on the negative sides of Asperger's is not a healthy ratio. Some may say that these issues must be addressed, but in my personal opinion, no matter how much we get frustrated about them- it won't help. It'd be nice if WrongPlanet was a site where someone would post a problem and then someone would provide an answer- however, in most circumstances this is not the case. Someone posts a problem, and gets several responses of a similar bad experience. Before you know it- the thread asking for help turns into a giant list of complaints in society which one simply can't dwell on without eventually having SOME sort of impact on their perception of the world.
Section 3: Come on, that's just nit picking. It's obvious what context I meant it in. I use the term 'Anti-Social' as a synonym for an excessive with-drawal from society as a whole.
Section 4: And that disclaimers, is EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
-Emor.
12 Sep 2009, 6:55 pm
Quote:
Emor wrote:
T I don't think a large group of Autistics is a good idea.
I do! Aspie groups are great fun.
My post tries too explain why in a world where neurotypicals and their customs dominate, a massive group of people who don't understand nor follow them is not a good idea. If you missed that then I might go more in depth in an edit or later post.
Quote:
Quote:
I also comprehend that SOME people will not be dragged into the trend of hating NTs, however,
Most wont.
From my observations most aren't aware and are in denial when it becomes noticeable to most.
Quote:
Quote:
I think few of those who don't get dragged in will spend excessive periods of times on this site anyway.
-Emor.
-Emor.
True
Typo, I missed out the 'not' prior to the 'spend' in that sentence. It's been added in now.
-Emor.
12 Sep 2009, 6:59 pm
Life with Asperger's can be one of social isolation. It's just reality. It doesn't mean someone with AS wants to be around people but can't. What it really means, mostly, is someone with AS might not have a need to be around people and might not need to socialize but they must if they want to have have a job, food and a roof over their head. It sounds like you aren't socially isolated for whatever reason and you can't pass judgment on people who are because you are not in their shoes. You don't know why it is they are or if they actually want to be. Some people are actually happier not socializing but are forced into it because they cannot survive without it.
Some people have to socialize just to survive, they don't like it, so they come to autistic support sites to express their frustrations and feelings about trying, on a constant basis, to fit into a world that isn't made for them. A world that requires a different kind of socializing than they prefer and can be stressful.
You can offer advice all you want but is that really going to improve someone's RL situation? Most people have already tried everything and are pretty much exhausted and are trying to get thru life with enough money to eat and have a roof over their head. They aren't being, "antisocial" IRL they are often trying and getting nowhere.
12 Sep 2009, 7:16 pm
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Life with Asperger's can be one of social isolation. It's just reality. It doesn't mean someone with AS wants to be around people but can't. What it really means, mostly, is someone with AS might not have a need to be around people and might not need to socialize but they must if they want to have have a job, food and a roof over their head. It sounds like you aren't socially isolated for whatever reason and you can't pass judgment on people who are because you are not in their shoes. You don't know why it is they are or if they actually want to be. Some people are actually happier not socializing but are forced into it because they cannot survive without it.
Some people have to socialize just to survive, they don't like it, so they come to autistic support sites to express their frustrations and feelings about trying, on a constant basis, to fit into a world that isn't made for them. A world that requires a different kind of socializing than they prefer and can be stressful.
You can offer advice all you want but is that really going to improve someone's RL situation? Most people have already tried everything and are pretty much exhausted and are trying to get thru life with enough money to eat and have a roof over their head. They aren't being, "antisocial" IRL they are often trying and getting nowhere.
Some people have to socialize just to survive, they don't like it, so they come to autistic support sites to express their frustrations and feelings about trying, on a constant basis, to fit into a world that isn't made for them. A world that requires a different kind of socializing than they prefer and can be stressful.
You can offer advice all you want but is that really going to improve someone's RL situation? Most people have already tried everything and are pretty much exhausted and are trying to get thru life with enough money to eat and have a roof over their head. They aren't being, "antisocial" IRL they are often trying and getting nowhere.
You are infact incorrect. A lot of lunctimes I will spend alone, and I do need that time alone. I DELUDED my self into thinking I enjoyed being alone, though the truth is, I just wasn't friends with the right people. The deeper I was in the hole, the less appealing talking to people was, and the harder it was to get into this whole.
In an ideal world of financial stability and acceptance I would have no problem with the sociology of this site- however, this is not a world we live in.
Site's like WrongPlanet, imo, endorse a rebellion in not conforming to the standards society sets. You can spend all the time you want not conforming to them- but in the end, what does it get you? Maybe a boosted ego that you do have your elbows on the table and everyone else who doesn't is vain- but those around you will not perceive you as that, more that impolite arrogant ass.
Yet again, while, frankly, I don't think having the view is healthy, I know that someone does not care about other's perceptions on them- but the fact of the matter is that people's perceptions of you don't just remain a thought in some insignificant being's mind, but are reflected on the actions they will take in regards to you. A good example of this would be an employer.
The fact of the matter is- we need to be socially capable. You can deny it all you want, but to succeed, in most cases, one has too adopt the customs of the world. I am SURE that just as many NTs find them just as idiotic and vain, however, they indulge in them because in the end of the day- it's simply how the world works.
Going to some site everyday and ranting on about how much the world sucks and how stupid it is isn't going to do anything beneficial other than leave you with an unrealistically negative outlook on the world around you- which it appears you have acquired.
I have many friends who are neurotypical. I have many friends who have an ASD and function in society and have friends who are neurotypical.
Because of that, I think that you don't reserve the right to paint a picture for people with AS and tell them that that's it.
I also think it's sad that you do it for yourself and unrealistically negative.
-Emor.
12 Sep 2009, 7:21 pm
Quote:
It'd be nice if WrongPlanet was a site where someone would post a problem and then someone would provide an answer- however, in most circumstances this is not the case. Someone posts a problem, and gets several responses of a similar bad experience. Before you know it- the thread asking for help turns into a giant list of complaints in society
Which is completely natural, normal and what people (NT & ASD) do all the time. "Commiseration," complaining about the world, etc. is probably the most frequent form of communication humans engage in. I think this is especially valuable to people who have had to keep quiet for 20-60 years about their actual experience of life because doing so would result in negative, uncomprehending reactions. It's good for people to connect and compare notes after wandering the wilderness alone for much of their lives.
Quote:
which one simply can't dwell on without eventually having SOME sort of impact on their perception of the world.
This seems a little Big Brother-ish -- protecting people from information, because we don't trust them to make 'correct' decisions with it. I think, at some level people have to be trusted to evaluate information for themselves, and decide to do what they think is right. Anything less, no matter how well intentioned, ends up being tyrannical.
_________________
Aspie Quiz: 160/43
Alien Quiz: √2/pi
12 Sep 2009, 7:23 pm
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
It's not about who is the most hated or rejected. It's about reality for some people and it has nothing to do with being antisocial. I am not sure what kind of social reality some posters have. What if you try your best to be social, you just end up getting rejected, put down, abandoned, treated like a second class citizen, disrespected. It's got little to do with being antisocial. For years I tried and failed more times than I can count. It's the Asperger's reality, it's not a contest. Most sites could care less about this particular problem, or worse, they put you down even more by calling you "antisocial" or saying you are narcissistic or aren't trying or want to be this way so you are. Or, that you need counseling. Where else can you go to talk candidly about this particular problem than an autistic support site? Experiencing problems socializing is a part of the disability, can have a negative impact on people's lives and can leave one feeling powerless and hopeless from time to time. It isn't treated like a serious disability, yet it can have a greater impact, much more negative too, than certain other aspects of disability. People assume it's something that's easy to change, "if only you want to change it and NEVER discuss it!" It doesn't work that way. The problem is still an issue whether someone posts about it on an autistic support site or not, so why censor people who experience these realities and have limited places to talk about how they affect their lives?
Why is it people assume it's "antisocial" behaviour? Antisocial means going out and spray painting graffiti on walls or kicking a random person in the shins.
Not being an effective socializer or lack of social reciprocity does not make one "antisocial"! I have no impulses to engage in antisocial acts. I don't consider myself to be antisocial in the slightest. In fact, I've known very sociable people who have done things that could be construed as antisocial, like writing in shoe polish on doors to businesses or on the windows of their friend's cars.
If you cannot post candidly about such issues at autism support sites where else can you post about them? NTs certainly don't understand...that's for sure!
Why is it people assume it's "antisocial" behaviour? Antisocial means going out and spray painting graffiti on walls or kicking a random person in the shins.
Not being an effective socializer or lack of social reciprocity does not make one "antisocial"! I have no impulses to engage in antisocial acts. I don't consider myself to be antisocial in the slightest. In fact, I've known very sociable people who have done things that could be construed as antisocial, like writing in shoe polish on doors to businesses or on the windows of their friend's cars.
If you cannot post candidly about such issues at autism support sites where else can you post about them? NTs certainly don't understand...that's for sure!
Exactly
I can understand and respect the inner struggle of the poster as it represent on of the commonest and the toughest dilemma for many AS
But according to my experiences and sensitivity it's the "high social status" who is based on shallow narcisitics value and not the serous ,painful and courageous effort of the people on this site to investigate their identities and lives
The terms "inferior" and "superior" are very essential to NT life and as such are blocking their understanding and acceptance of the AS
i've experienced it many time in my life when my attempts to talk to the point,to express a point of view,to understand,to explore,to touch where interpreted by the hierarchical set of the NT mind as me trying to win some imaginary race
NT are anti social,not me,i'm outcast because i'm extremely social,because i care about people more than about money or status or whatever
there is no way i'll be convinced this is not the case as u have to be totally blind and deaf to reject a knowledge gathered from countless encounters with the NT and what i read in this site or other like this just showed me that i'm not totally alone
we need a support much like the NT needs support
we don't get it much in the "real" world
by getting it here we can make the virtual real
and in my opinion this would benefit humanity at large
not just us
and getting real time communication across distances and immersing in virtual communities is very important and positive cultural development
it is no coincidence that this developments sits so well with the AS mentality or identity as it fit our peculiar or eccentric sense of time and space
12 Sep 2009, 7:27 pm
Emor wrote:
My post tries too explain why in a world where neurotypicals and their customs dominate, a massive group of people who don't understand nor follow them is not a good idea. If you missed that then I might go more in depth in an edit or later post.
From my experience of adult aspie groups, NTs were discussed little at the group, and many of the people were deep in hobbies or attending social skills groups, or just trying to make the best of things.
There were some that went off the rails occasionally though. I found that combining social skills with being around aspies was a good thing because it helped me practise my social skills in an environment where people werent so concerned about what I was saying or doing.
Clearly you have no need for this though. You are young, why not just go and enjoy yourself with your friends? I am glad you had early diagnosis, there were no such things around for me when I was a teen and I just struggled.
_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.
12 Sep 2009, 7:30 pm
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
Quote:
It'd be nice if WrongPlanet was a site where someone would post a problem and then someone would provide an answer- however, in most circumstances this is not the case. Someone posts a problem, and gets several responses of a similar bad experience. Before you know it- the thread asking for help turns into a giant list of complaints in society
Which is completely natural, normal and what people (NT & ASD) do all the time. "Commiseration," complaining about the world, etc. is probably the most frequent form of communication humans engage in. I think this is especially valuable to people who have had to keep quiet for 20-60 years about their actual experience of life because doing so would result in negative, uncomprehending reactions. It's good for people to connect and compare notes after wandering the wilderness alone for much of their lives.
Quote:
which one simply can't dwell on without eventually having SOME sort of impact on their perception of the world.
This seems a little Big Brother-ish -- protecting people from information, because we don't trust them to make 'correct' decisions with it. I think, at some level people have to be trusted to evaluate information for themselves, and decide to do what they think is right. Anything less, no matter how well intentioned, ends up being tyrannical.
But to what extent does it come excessive? (Rhetorical, btw, way too tedious to begin with- I just think it's too dangerous too risk it being too excessive)
Yes, but when focusses too excessively on the negative one WILL gain an unrealistically negative perception of the world, and most notably, neurotypicals. I acknowledge WrongPlanet to be a good a place to let off some steam every month or so(I honestly don't know, or can define what's moderate and what's not), however, I think it becomes damaging when people use WrongPlanet for excessive periods and end up going down the road initially specified in the first post.
-Emor.
12 Sep 2009, 7:30 pm
I don't think I'm better than neurotypicals. And neurotypicals aren't better than I am. Nobody's better than anyone else. I come on here solely to associate with others with Asperger's, and to discuss the nature of special interests, which I find particularly fascinating. And I'm not proud to have AS itself, but I am proud of the gifts that it gives me, such as an exceptional memory.
-OddDuckNash99-
_________________
Helinger: Now, what do you see, John?
Nash: Recognition...
Helinger: Well, try seeing accomplishment!
Nash: Is there a difference?
12 Sep 2009, 7:41 pm
zen_mistress wrote:
Emor wrote:
My post tries too explain why in a world where neurotypicals and their customs dominate, a massive group of people who don't understand nor follow them is not a good idea. If you missed that then I might go more in depth in an edit or later post.
From my experience of adult aspie groups, NTs were discussed little at the group, and many of the people were deep in hobbies or attending social skills groups, or just trying to make the best of things.
There were some that went off the rails occasionally though. I found that combining social skills with being around aspies was a good thing because it helped me practise my social skills in an environment where people werent so concerned about what I was saying or doing.
Clearly you have no need for this though. You are young, why not just go and enjoy yourself with your friends? I am glad you had early diagnosis, there were no such things around for me when I was a teen and I just struggled.
I attend a social skills group at my school and a few at the holidays which have helped me.
This site hasn't.
I am posting here with the genuine intent of getting those out of where I used to be.
I fully comprehend that for some this site is beneficial.
I've already received one PM from someone who has informed me he is leaving because he agrees with me that this site has had a negative effect on him in general and it those people I intend on reaching out to.
I understand why others who enjoy this site may be offended by my post, though I think it is worth my offending a few people in order to get anyone off this site which is effecting them in a negative way.
In general though, this thread also serves the purpose to end NT discrimination. It's pathetic and excessive and frankly, it disgusts me that we rant on about how NTs are so prejudice when we're being prejudice in doing so.
I think some of the posts in this thread really do make it clear how bad the situation has gotten.
The social linguistics of this site need to change, imo, before it gets worse.
If you are offended by this, arguing with a 14 year old isn't going to do much good. I'd just ignore me, frankly.
-Emor.
12 Sep 2009, 7:42 pm
DonkeyBuster wrote:
Well, by and large I think I agree with you. There is a SEGMENT of the forum that is taking on a very negative victim identity and becoming deeply entrenched in their embattled, embittered, self-centered and self-limiting view of themselves.
However, I do think you go a bit too far, use too broad a brush to paint us all that way. There are also many people who are still interacting with "NT culture" or the rest of the world, and are actively encouraging others to do so. Reminding them of their own goodness, the capabilities and talents they have to offer, and offering a shoulder to cry on, another perspective, possible work-arounds... all to enable rather than disable at whatever level each person is willing to attempt.
However, I do think you go a bit too far, use too broad a brush to paint us all that way. There are also many people who are still interacting with "NT culture" or the rest of the world, and are actively encouraging others to do so. Reminding them of their own goodness, the capabilities and talents they have to offer, and offering a shoulder to cry on, another perspective, possible work-arounds... all to enable rather than disable at whatever level each person is willing to attempt.
QFT...
Yes, there are some people here who want to turn themselves into constant victims. They NT-bash, they complain about how everything is always somebody else's fault.
There are others who come here to talk about the frustrations of walking around constantly unsure of what's going on. We find support from other people who understand what it's like, ask questions about what things mean, questions that would be laughed at anywhere else. The problems are there whether we find support for them or not. It's nice to find people who understand.
There are people everywhere looking for excuses to insult other people, there are people everywhere who want to turn themselves into constant victims. For some of us, this site helps us feel less victimized. I come here, and I feel like there are some people who get what it's like.
Of course there are some people who turn it into something unhealthy. That can be said about anything.
People turn therapy into something unhealthy, people turn medication into something unhealthy, and people turn support sites into something unhealthy. That doesn't mean that those things ARE unhealthy, just that some people turn them into something unhealthy.
12 Sep 2009, 7:43 pm
OddDuckNash99 wrote:
I don't think I'm better than neurotypicals. And neurotypicals aren't better than I am. Nobody's better than anyone else. I come on here solely to associate with others with Asperger's, and to discuss the nature of special interests, which I find particularly fascinating. And I'm not proud to have AS itself, but I am proud of the gifts that it gives me, such as an exceptional memory.
-OddDuckNash99-
-OddDuckNash99-
I acknowledge(and have mentioned so several times) that the road specified in my first post is not one every member goes down, HOWEVER, I think that a significant amount of people do go down that road, enough to suffice me making this thread.
Again, I apologize if my post has came across as some sort of generalisation.
-Emor.
12 Sep 2009, 7:51 pm
nara44 wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
It's not about who is the most hated or rejected. It's about reality for some people and it has nothing to do with being antisocial. I am not sure what kind of social reality some posters have. What if you try your best to be social, you just end up getting rejected, put down, abandoned, treated like a second class citizen, disrespected. It's got little to do with being antisocial. For years I tried and failed more times than I can count. It's the Asperger's reality, it's not a contest. Most sites could care less about this particular problem, or worse, they put you down even more by calling you "antisocial" or saying you are narcissistic or aren't trying or want to be this way so you are. Or, that you need counseling. Where else can you go to talk candidly about this particular problem than an autistic support site? Experiencing problems socializing is a part of the disability, can have a negative impact on people's lives and can leave one feeling powerless and hopeless from time to time. It isn't treated like a serious disability, yet it can have a greater impact, much more negative too, than certain other aspects of disability. People assume it's something that's easy to change, "if only you want to change it and NEVER discuss it!" It doesn't work that way. The problem is still an issue whether someone posts about it on an autistic support site or not, so why censor people who experience these realities and have limited places to talk about how they affect their lives?
Why is it people assume it's "antisocial" behaviour? Antisocial means going out and spray painting graffiti on walls or kicking a random person in the shins.
Not being an effective socializer or lack of social reciprocity does not make one "antisocial"! I have no impulses to engage in antisocial acts. I don't consider myself to be antisocial in the slightest. In fact, I've known very sociable people who have done things that could be construed as antisocial, like writing in shoe polish on doors to businesses or on the windows of their friend's cars.
If you cannot post candidly about such issues at autism support sites where else can you post about them? NTs certainly don't understand...that's for sure!
Why is it people assume it's "antisocial" behaviour? Antisocial means going out and spray painting graffiti on walls or kicking a random person in the shins.
Not being an effective socializer or lack of social reciprocity does not make one "antisocial"! I have no impulses to engage in antisocial acts. I don't consider myself to be antisocial in the slightest. In fact, I've known very sociable people who have done things that could be construed as antisocial, like writing in shoe polish on doors to businesses or on the windows of their friend's cars.
If you cannot post candidly about such issues at autism support sites where else can you post about them? NTs certainly don't understand...that's for sure!
Exactly
I can understand and respect the inner struggle of the poster as it represent on of the commonest and the toughest dilemma for many AS
But according to my experiences and sensitivity it's the "high social status" who is based on shallow narcisitics value and not the serous ,painful and courageous effort of the people on this site to investigate their identities and lives
The terms "inferior" and "superior" are very essential to NT life and as such are blocking their understanding and acceptance of the AS
i've experienced it many time in my life when my attempts to talk to the point,to express a point of view,to understand,to explore,to touch where interpreted by the hierarchical set of the NT mind as me trying to win some imaginary race
NT are anti social,not me,i'm outcast because i'm extremely social,because i care about people more than about money or status or whatever
there is no way i'll be convinced this is not the case as u have to be totally blind and deaf to reject a knowledge gathered from countless encounters with the NT and what i read in this site or other like this just showed me that i'm not totally alone
we need a support much like the NT needs support
we don't get it much in the "real" world
by getting it here we can make the virtual real
and in my opinion this would benefit humanity at large
not just us
and getting real time communication across distances and immersing in virtual communities is very important and positive cultural development
it is no coincidence that this developments sits so well with the AS mentality or identity as it fit our peculiar or eccentric sense of time and space
Okay- firstly, will people please stop nit-picking on the context I used 'anti-social' in. It's a very weak argument and makes you sound desperate to prove me wrong.
Secondly- you're not doing anything for yourself by generalising NTs in your post, other than making my point more clear. That this site sports excessive amounts of Aspie supremacist-like content.
Thirdly- it's nice to know that you interact with NTs, however, this not going so well is not a good enough reason for me for you to bash them. I'm sure that if you were with a different group of people they would have politely have pointed out where you went wrong.
Fourthly- will everyone stop acting like they're going down that road or I'm proposing the site gets shut down or something!? I'm simply saying that the general social linguistics of this site for some can be harmful. The two quoted posters in this post, I personally believe, are a prime example of this.
-Emor.
12 Sep 2009, 8:11 pm
Emor wrote:
I think some of the posts in this thread really do make it clear how bad the situation has gotten.
The social linguistics of this site need to change, imo, before it gets worse.
If you are offended by this, arguing with a 14 year old isn't going to do much good. I'd just ignore me, frankly.
-Emor.
The social linguistics of this site need to change, imo, before it gets worse.
If you are offended by this, arguing with a 14 year old isn't going to do much good. I'd just ignore me, frankly.
-Emor.
Im not offended. I think the drama on the autism subforums are addictive. They draw people back many times over, studies show that the negative brain chemicals are more addictive to the brain than the positive ones.
I really am not worried how old you are, I dont think it makes you young or immature I just think you are receiving help early and are therefore luckier than many of us adults who have had a pretty lousy time well into adulthood.
One thing you could do is just hang out in the less drama-filled parts of the board, such as Art, writing, music, Or Games, Science, Quizzes and Random Discussion. There you can interact with aspies who are not talking about NTs all the time.
_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.
12 Sep 2009, 8:12 pm
Emor wrote:
Thirdly- it's nice to know that you interact with NTs, however, this not going so well is not a good enough reason for me for you to bash them. I'm sure that if you were with a different group of people they would have politely have pointed out where you went wrong.
Fourthly- will everyone stop acting like they're going down that road or I'm proposing the site gets shut down or something!? I'm simply saying that the general social linguistics of this site for some can be harmful. The two quoted posters in this post, I personally believe, are a prime example of this.
-Emor.
Fourthly- will everyone stop acting like they're going down that road or I'm proposing the site gets shut down or something!? I'm simply saying that the general social linguistics of this site for some can be harmful. The two quoted posters in this post, I personally believe, are a prime example of this.
-Emor.
Just for the record
I ceased interacting with NT(including my family) many many years ago
consequently ,my life and health has improved dramatically to the point where people from my past say i'm almost unrecogniable
I can afford that because i'm good at what i do and doesn't have urgent narcissistic needs and doesn't care if i'm not loved by everybody all the time like too many short sighted people around me
i get u
it's no fun to be alone and i m definatly not proud of it but AS are into deep ,meaningful relationship and this is one of the main reason behind the NT labeling us as antisocial
being selective and attentive and shy would get u misinterpreted most of the time in a shallow and narcissistic society
sorry
but i don't need and i can't live by standards,values and point of views set by bullies
Last edited by nara44 on 12 Sep 2009, 8:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.
12 Sep 2009, 8:14 pm
You might want to consider how your age and the changes in attitudes and awareness of ASDs have influenced your opinions. For 50+ years I did well in school and in the workplace, yet avoided most human contact and lived for the most part in a fantasy world. My parents surely realized that there was something wrong, but had no idea how to address the problem. Had they brought me to a counselor, it probably would not have turned out well since there was no awareness of Asperger's in the day.
When I realized there was a name for my screwed-up nervous system and inability to relate to others, it was an incredible relief. I visit this site to read the experiences of others, share some of my own, and feel some comfort that I'm not alone. As others have said, I don't believe in bashing NTs, but will probably never have more than limited success relating to them or feeling comfortable in social gatherings.
It's similar to the difference between an older gay man and the teen of today who's already come out to his friends and family and found acceptance. The young guy will never comprehend the emotional damage that the older guy has experienced, especially if he hid his true self for all his life.
