Can't even tell the truth convincingly??

Post Reply New Topic

I'm not certain my condition I may or may not be an aspie..just fyi

In my youth I had no concept of a lie..I always assumed everything was the truth. As my childhood progressed I became aware of lies from school mates and syblings and could not understand why the hell someone would lie. I'm 23 and to this day I don't lie...I don't understand it. I believe that if your caught man up! Take the punch and move on with life. (I learned why people lie over time) When i meet a girl I always tell them that I'm unusually honest. They think I'm kidding at first, but when they ask if a shirt they have on looks good, or if they gain weight I tell em straight up the honest truth. I warned them I would. I've been this way..It's not that I don't know how to lie..I can if I want to but it takes A LOT of mental effort for me to do so and it hangs on me for days or longer. I also hate hate hate that many people don't trust me. All my life I've been an honest abe, always truthfull and I stand by my word and follow through with my promises. Yet people assume that I'm just like everyone else... out for my own good, drama, or "your just saying that cuz you know thats what you have to say". God damnit no...I'm telling the truth, I'm always telling the truth. Why the hell can't they figure this out. I'm talking people that are close to me, family!!, Wife (ex now), co workers, and the current love of my life. It's so painful to go your whole life telling the truth because that's just how your wired puzzled at why everyone else around you lies so frequently, with little care to their self pride. And so painful that people assume that if your faced with a situation that a normal person may lie about because of shame or consequences that your lieing too even though they may have know you for years or your whole life even.

Wow, I just wanted to say I connect with many of the things posted above and hope you can connect with me. I'm new here and it's so nice even if I don't fully have Aspergers to vent to people who understand.

I expect it is because many folks interpret lack of eye contact as evidence of dishonesty, or hiding something.

We communicate with our whole bodies. I was just reading that one of the things customs officers look for is how people hold their handbags/luggage, if they clutch them close to their bodies there's a good chance they're hiding something. Also if you face the customs desk but you're feet are pointing at the exit that's very suspicious. Restriced arm movements and hunched shoulders are other cues but there's loads of things like that. These are limbic responses not consciously controlled but you can stop yourself if you know in advance.

hehe.. would probably be doing those things because of being uncomfortable in that situation anyway! Yet I always try to act natural/casual (maybe that's the problem!). Well, I'm about to spend 6 weeks travelling around Europe, I'll see what happens!

Adonis: welcome to WP, I'm with you I always assumed everything was the truth when I was young. Maybe that's part of growing up but I still don't understand why people need to lie all of the time, or why they automatically assume others are lying. I had to learn the hard way about sarcasm when I left university and made friends with someone who is sarcastic/makes jokes 99% of the time, at first I always took him seriously.

This is because nothing is true. They were only foolin'. Everything is made up. Morality, reality, social norms, everything! Once you start to believe your own lies, that's when you have a problem.

Lying to ourself means... for example, "had to stay off school". LOL. There is no such thing as "have to" if you have a free will. That's Post hoc ergo propter hoc, the sickness did not 'cause' you stay off school... you did.

"Once you have liberated youself from all necessary reactions..." - Antonin Artaud

Oh I've explained it really poorly I recommend reading up on it



Would it be better to say 'I was ill so didn't go to school'

"So" implies cause.

The problem is that when you admit it, you won't just take the punch for what you actually did. If you're honest, people will still assume that you're lying. So if you admit to having done something wrong, and somebody else has done the same thing wrong but doesn't admit it, you'll be seen as someone who has done something wrong and they won't be. Even though they're lying. So later, if it's discovered something wrong was done, who do you think will get blamed? The honest person who admits when they've done something wrong, or the person who hasn't admitted to ever having done anything wrong?

Here's how I pretty much handle it: I tell people what has to be said, because I know that I at least handled what I had to; sort of "covering my own @$$" if you will....or also what I refer to as the almighty 'bargaining chip".

Things get lost in translation all the time; nothing I did wrong or intentionally wrong.

I don't know. If you state the limits of error, you can say something which is true; for example, "this object is one metre long" would be untrue (as it would not literally be that exact length, but some fraction longer or shorter), whereas "this object is one metre long, to within an error of one centimetre" would be true, assuming that you had measured it correctly.

There are probably other things which would need to be stated, like the reference frames of the object and observer, and the definition of a metre, and so on, and what distance from the outermost atom of the object counted as "the end", and when the measurement was supposed to be valid, as it would change over time, but you get the idea; if when saying something you admit the limits of accuracy in your knowledge, you can say something which is completely true. We all assume these limits of accuracy in ordinary speech (or it would be impractical to say anything at all; if I say something is a metre long, you assume that I am speaking approximately, to within the accuracy of the width of a measurement line on a ruler, say) and I suspect the mismatch between the limits of accuracy that different people assume (for cases much more complicated than a simple measurement of length!) is a cause of many misunderstandings.

Free will doesn't exist, only in an illusion relative to "mind's eye". Read up on chaos.