my GF might have asperger's and idk what to do?

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Draven,

You said NOTHING that even causes me to CONSIDER AS.

Hi.

She reminds me of Me, and it seems she might have AS.

I was told by my Ex that I only ever "opened up" just after I woke-up i.e. when I was very tired, but soon when wide awake I changed into my usual introverted self. I didn't notice it. Its got to do with I worrying about what the reactions will be to what I say. When half-asleep, I just spoke about whatever and didn't worry at all about emotional reactions, which are difficult for me to predict.

If you can't predict another person's emotions easily, conversations tend to involve emotionally neutral subjects such as e.g. the Weather, for fear of causing offence and evoking emotions that not well understood nor handled. I am thus always polite and formal. Discussing emotionally charged relationship issues - opening up - involves talking about annoyances, being honest, saying what you like or dislike about each other, talking about the future etc. Later on, I tried to open up, and I noticed the point when I changed from speaking about an emotionally neutral subject to talking about an emotional subject, it was like rebooting with a different OS. I'd pause and then start talking in a different mindset.

Also, if you're asked to open-up and to talk about something, it usually means its a serious conversation that will involve negative emotions. When negative emotions are involved, it causes me as more stress, you end-up hypervigilant against causing further accidental offence. You don't want to cause any more anger. Very awkward. So that can be another reason for not wanting to open-up.

But I think it is possible for her to open up. What to do...

I also open-up when I drink c. 2 glasses of wine, I think. As I said, I open-up when I'm very tired such as when waking up. And I have managed to open-up when specifically asked to do so, but its awkward. I also read that writing down ones feelings and discussing things on paper or even in an email, rather then speaking, can help some people.

I don't want to make a long post, just think about this:

what do you love in her? Many people with love relaction with "strange people" love and hate at the same time the same characteristic. Do you like to have a GF that want to go shopping all day long? Or that keep you busy talking 3 hours about gossip?

Have you thought of Agoraphobia? This is a condition where a person fears leaving the house.


Some people are content to just BE and not speak much. Is she happy to see you? Does she ask you questions about your day, interests, life etc?

Do you ever suggest just the two of you go for a drive somewhere? Somewhere there won't be many people or much noise such as the countryside?

Do you discuss the books she reads?The type of books could give you a clue as to what she is interested in, ask her to loan you a good book to read and then discuss it with her.
If she has poor self esteem she may not be aware of how much you care about her and how much she means to you!

You guys know the OP hasn't been back here since he made that second post, right?