Do you think about things you did in the past alot?

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durentu, that's interesting. I believe so much of what we experience as reality is perception and perceptions can be changed. I think anti-depressants helped me in this, before that when I thought about a painful or humiliating experience I would actually feel the physical pain as if it were happening in the present. After meds, I guess my brain processed memory a different way and I could detach. What you say about closure is true. Sometimes you are not going to get it from the person who hurt you; sometimes you have to give it to yourself.

Yes I think of my College suspension every second of everyday and alot of times home alone I talk to myself how I'd apologize to the Psychology teacher I upset etc. It'll be 5 years February YES I've done this for 5 YEARS!! !! !! !! !!)

My past comes to mind more often than I like. Unfortunately I remember my failures much more vividly than my successes. What a pain in the arse that is.

ruveyn

I'm not a religious person, by any stretch of the imagination. Still, the Serenity Prayer is very useful. Whether you think of it as a prayer, or as self-talk, it's good stuff.


"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference. "

Notice it doesn't say, "Grant me the serenity to blindly accept every wrong that comes my way." Just "the things I cannot change." The things you can change are dealt with in the next line.

I think about things that go back to childhood. For instance, I don't know where I was, but my grandmother was driving and I saw a carnival. I wanted to go so bad, so we came back later. She bought me some tickets and I looked at all the rides and decided I didn't want to get on any of them. It's a memory that haunts me cos I felt so bad that she bought the tickets and just gave them away cos I didn't want to ride anything.

elderwanda

re: the serenity prayer-the most important line for me is the last one
The wisdom to know the difference.

I'm always remembering dumb things I've done and worrying about the future.

I get random flashes of memories all the time..Little things from way way back...

One memory is that I am on a swing at the park, and I was about ll or 12...I had a very bad permenant....I was a heavy, ugly, clumsy, and awkward child at that age, and I was quite aware of the fact...

There were two moms in the park, and one said to the other regarding me: "She's a beauty"...and I remember wondering to myself if she was serious or being sarcastic....and I still remember that moment and wonder...

I have weird inexplicable emotions attached to weird random memories I have that go way way back.
That's just one example.