06 Jan 2010, 5:06 pm
alana wrote:
The wakes, to me, are sick. People socializing and gratifying themselves with a dead person lying there. Bizarre.
The only funerals I have been to are those conducted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon), which is the church I belong to. At these funerals, there aren't any wakes or bizarre things going on. People who attend don't need to wear black or wear veils (as I understand they do at funerals conducted by other churches), although they do dress in their Sunday-best clothes, in conservative colors. Relatives and friends give short speeches and participate in musical numbers. Sometimes there is even humor in the speeches, which is not seen as inappropriate, as they remember the fun times they had with the deceased. A viewing (with an open casket) is generally held at a mortuary the evening before the noontime funeral held the next day, as well as just prior to the funeral at an LDS chapel. But the casket (placed in front of the pulpit in the chapel) is closed during the funeral service. Immediately after the funeral, the family and close friends of the deceased proceed to the cemetery for a short burial service. Then the family members return to the LDS chapel for a luncheon, which is provided (voluntarily) by the ward (congregation) members of the deceased. I can understand that you would feel that some funerals are rather bizarre. But I feel very comfortable attending the LDS funerals that I have been to.
CockneyRebel
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06 Jan 2010, 5:08 pm
06 Jan 2010, 6:19 pm
06 Jan 2010, 8:52 pm
AspieInTraining wrote:
machf wrote:
But I don't like going to funerals, I mean, that's a corpse, it's not the person I knew anymore, why should I care? I'd rather remember him/her from the happy times we spent together earlier, not as a decayed vessel laying stiff inside a box.
I used to be freaked out by seeing a corpse in a box, maybe because I'd been to so few funerals during my life, and maybe because it reminded me of those weird horror movies where a dead guy rises out of his coffin.
But, now that I'm older and I've been to more funerals (grandparents, aunts, uncles, mother-in-law, friends), it doesn't bother me anymore. From what people have told me, going to a funeral isn't really about just looking at a corpse, which is just the outer shell from which the person's spirit has departed and gone to the spirit world. I've been told that the real reason we go to viewings and funerals is to express our condolences and sympathy to the people who loved the person who died, and who are grieving their loss. As an aspie, I do have difficulty with empathy, as well as with grieving as neurotypical people do. However, I can feel sympathy for those who are grieving, so I go to funerals to express my love and support to family members of the deceased. Sometimes I have even been to a funeral for a dead person that I never even met (or only knew slightly) because I did know someone in their family very well, and I want to express my condolences to that person. Funerals are not really about the corpse in the box, since that person's spirit is now in a very joyful place. It's really about comforting the living people who are left behind in mortality.
Oh, comforting people I know for their loss is something that's perfectly fine with me, but those open-casket things where they want you to go look at the corpse is what I don't see the need for... I think I should have used the term "wake", after seeing other posts now, but I couldn't remember it earlier (English in not my native language, not even my second one).
07 Jan 2010, 1:14 pm
