social anxiety vs aspergers

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the question that keeps going through my mind, is that if society were more tolerant of difference, would we we have a "problem" at all.

social anxiety levels that i have go way down when i'm around other people on the spectrum, for instance.

The criteria refer to very early childhood.

As to being “too eager” it’s common to not understand that others are bored, to be unable to disengage (including in conversation) from preoccupations and “special interests” and common to not know how to perceive boundaries (which can as easily result in being inappropriately stand offish as inappropriate over familiar).

The difference is simple. Social anxiety does not mean that you have trouble following social cues because your brain does not understand them, it simply means that you have anxiety in social situations. You may worry that you will make a mistake in front of other people. People with aspergers may have social anxiety because they know that it is likely that they will make a social mistake, but many people with social anxiety do not have aspergers, and can communicate easily with people when not anxious.

So, in shorter terms, Aspergers is a disorder that makes it difficult to communicate and read social cues, while social anxiety means that you may not have real social trouble, but social situations make you quite anxious.

I think I've got both. Well, I've definately got AS, but I think I have got social anxiety too, because I've become very afraid of people, and I've never felt like this before in my life. I know how to read body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and emotions, and I subconsciously use them myself too because I've seen myself caught on tape (and I was oblivious that I was on tape), and I have average eye contact too. And I'm not so bad in conversations, and I enjoy small talk (can't see what's so difficult about small talk really). But sometimes I have difficulty asking other people questions when in a conversation, and I always know the right times to ask the right questions but often I lack confidence in asking them, because I fear that the other person might not listen or might interrupt me. I worry too much of what other people might think, and so like to stay quiet. I'm not sure if that's social anxiety or not.
Also, I have a phobia of embarrassing myself in front of lots of strangers - unless I intentionally embarrass myself. But when things happen that are beyond my control and it embarrasses me, I don't like it. It's like once I brought some shopping, and I dropped my money everywhere and it went rolling all over the shop, and I felt SO embarrassed. I felt that the whole shop was looking at me and thinking I'm stupid or something, and the more I thought that, the more stiff my body became, and I found it hard to grab the money because I was shaking all over and red hot from embarrassment. I didn't dare to look up at anyone.
But once when I got on the bus, all the seats were filled with people, and I felt angry because I hate being the only one standing up in front of everyone. So I glared at everyone then muttered some profanity under my breath, and I caught one or two people smirking at me because of my reaction. I did regret my actions afterwards and wished I hadn't reacted like that in front of a lot of strangers, but I knew that I had nobody to blame but myself for doing that, and so I brought the embarrassment on myself.
But when things happen that are not my fault, I get so embarrassed that I feel like crying. I'm not sure if all this is social anxiety or not, having a fear of something embarrassing might happen to me.