I often feel more like an NT

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wow, no way! i am INTP and have been. when i was a teen i was INFP. i guess. i think. intriguing, since i thought the intp and the infp were a minority.

Is it because you're blunt and to the point? It's interesting how this seems to be the case with most aspies. Perhaps there's a subset who's really self-conscious and is the opposite (like me) who go to lengths to talk around someone, or sugar coat it.

I'm the opposite of blunt because I have some social phobia. I find it difficult to disagree with people to thier face. I'm often guilty of pretending to agree with people. I go to lengths to avoid conflict and have trouble putting my foot down.

You have an NT personality disorder.

Other aspies also get tired of hearing the same thing over and over. I go to another forum, I2, and I kept posting Benny & Joon stuff and I got crap for it. We had another member here who kept posting about his straps and other aspies got tired of it too so you're not alone.

I have an autistic friend who keeps talking about his shoes and longalls and how he wants to be a four year old and wishes he could stay that age and how he wishes he gave himself a head injury at four to ruin something in his head so he wouldn't grow.
Then I have another autistic friend who is HFA and he talks about meat and jail.
I don't mind hearing them but if I say it's boring he stops. I have never told the prepie friend his topics are boring because I find them more interesting than meat and jail.

I view myself as mild or borderline, same thing. I seemed normal in many ways despite that kids thought I was weird or stupid or ret*d and I was picked on but it seems like other aspies had it worse than me. My mom still knew I had something wrong with me but didn't know what and she had to take classes and figure out how to teach me and raise me because normal punishments didn't always work for me. Yeah I've always had poor social skills and immature emotions and my TOM was poor. I was actually surprised to learn what kids develope with TOM at a young age and I missed all those steps. Kids start lying young as age six to spare peoples feelings but with me, I was honest. I didn't even think of feelings then. I didn't even understand why kids get mad at me or why they were yelling. I also thought kids were weird if they didn't like the same things I liked. How could someone not like books or Disney movies? How could my friend Sara not like Polly Pockets? Okay do I still sound borderline? I've gotten before "Are you sure you're borderline?" or "mild." But when I look at the overall picture, I was mild vs real aspies. Borderline aspies are still impaired and effected and meet the aspie criteria but not all the time. They are just closer to normal is all and can pass off as it.

There's a t-shirt that says 'hell is other people', they didn't make that one for autistic people - NTs made that up for other NTs to relate do (and they do).

John and Mary topic

Spokane_Girl, do not lose Benny and Joon! I love the posts about it. I learned a lot about Johnny Depp and Mary Stuart Masterson this way. (My fave movies starring the D-man are Edward Scissorhands and the Jack the Ripper movie [forgot the title offhand].)

Yaaar! I wish i felt more neurotypical...esp. in the face of all these threads of people trying to "undiagnose" us...which I have not been able to help but take personally..since I only have an assessment and not a formal expensive diagnosis...because if I really AM an NT, then i am a plenty messed up one....

That's an english translation of a Sartre quote from his play "No Exit"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Paul_Sartre

I still think I have mild AS, but from the way some people describe 'NT' people, I often find myself relating to them instead of autistics. I think with regard to certain social conventions/understandings which have never phased me. Maybe I picked them up in different ways to the normal person (but they sure did seem to come naturally), I don't see that kind of disability in me at all. Same goes for my emotional understanding. Occasionally I am a little ambivalent about expressions/body languages, but I certainly get the gist for it to not be a problem.

The areas I can relate to are the obsessive interests, things like at one time spending all my free time studying climate statistics and weather forecasts (at age 15-16), or spending all my time reading and talking about fish. Slightly awkward facial expressions, ticks or 'stims', and itches to make certain noises/gestures.

I'm not sure if I should get a re-diagnosis, since I was quite a bit worse at age 14. At age 14 I was actually diagnosed with HFA, but I'm sure if AS is a separate thing I have that and not HFA, but if it's a name I just am very 'high functioning.' I didn't have a speech/language delay, just as always shy and preferred to play on my own with objects rather than people. I used to be quite withdrawn, but more out of sociophobia than wanting to avoid or not being interested in people. I do want a social life and a girlfriend, but I also value my privacy. I don't go around being aware AS is a part of me (I'm quite new to it, and didn't come to terms with it until recently) so I actually feel it's more academic than real. I know it HAS affected my life in some ways, but in others I honestly don't see much of it's hand in my life.

I'm wonder if there are others in the same boat, who almost feel like they have one foot in each camp, and to what extent they feel 'autistic' and not. It varies from day to day, mood to mood, but I think there are those who feel they don't quite belong in either group. I still identify and enjoy talking to people with AS, as it allows me to talk at length about topics, but sometimes they tire even me constantly rambling on about the same thing.