I don't know how to be spontaneous

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im not normally spontaneous, unless im drunk and even then im only spontaneous in relativeness to my usual behavior i.e not significantly spontaneous by other peoples standards. I have noticed that i do tend to be more spontaneous when in serious relationships though.. i guess im more willing and relaxed about being spontaneous when it involves or benefits my relations with someone i care about.

I'm always terrible at posing for photos though

I don't try to be that way because that's not who I am.

Probably much of the time it comes from alcohol or other chemicals...

We're Autistic...spontaneity isn't in "the cards" with us; we plan things out.

Nothing to be ashamed of dude; stop trying to be a half-*ssed version of somebody else, and instead be the best you that you can be.

I should never have used the word spontaneous. It didn't fully describe what I was trying to express and the main point was lost. Let me try again. I don't know how to be free with physical expression. I don't know how to be physically silly and mug for the camera. I am too stiff and I think it is because I am always so detached and analytical. It doesn't have to involve drugs or alcohol. It could be a photo of a bunch of elderly ladies having lunch. I guess I'm talking about the inability to pose for photographs to look like I'm full of joyful abandon. I always look stiff and uncomfortable. But I'm just ruminating.

The people in the photo look like they are socially synced up.

Notice that their facial expressions and body language is very similar.
Also the clothes are very similar too.

Somehow, these people are socially syncing up with each other.
I find it rather frightening when everyone looks the same and has the same facial expression though. It's like mass mimicry.

I ask myself how people can do this and why people do this.

Then I realise that this social syncing up is probably automatic to them and they couldn't care less "why" especially if they've had a lot to drink. People can be spontaneous if they sync up socially and send little non-verbal signals to each other. I've also noticed that people use alcohol to overcome their social inhibitions and thus, this makes the social syncing up easier for them. Also, I feel that this ability to socially sync up is behavioural and must be "built into" these people.

My guess is that that the underling purpose for events like parties and initiation rituals/ceremonies is social syncing up for group cohesion.

I struggle at syncing up socially with others and being spontaneous with others.

This is why I never attend dance or step aerobics classes.
In the past, I've literally danced to my own tune and people have looked on bewildered.
I seem to be able to sync up with the music, but not so well with the people.

The plus side of all of this, is that I have to do my own thing and I have to find creative ways around struggling to sync up. It forces you to be unique if you can't sync up that well.

Perhaps, I have a more limited repertoire of non-verbal signals and my non-verbal dialect is different. Issues occur when there's a mismatch in communication styles.

I can be spontaneous on my own, but I usually have to plan that in advance, it's not on "the spur of the moment".

I also don't know how to do that. Is that really a word? Checking my dictionary...It really is a word!

I don't think you used the wrong word. I understand exactly what you're describing.

I also never look like I'm having fun in photos. It's odd though because when I look back at some of my parents photos of me when I was 6 years old I see a myself posing for the camera with a big beaming smile or making funny faces. It seems like as I got older I unlearned the ability to smile and look "fun" in photos.

I think the ability to be physically spontaneous and the ability to be verbally spontaneous are connected though. At least for me they are.

so what if you are?

maybe you're a very serious, thought-induced person; nothing wrong with that dude.

Y'know, I had a chat with a friend of mine on the phone for 2 hours early this morning; we had a ton of catching up to do; I finally told him about my Autism, and it didn't matter to him.

He deals with Autistic kids all the time at the daycare center he works at. Y'know the one thing he says where they seem to be "inadequate"? Social Skills.

Y'know what he said about it? "Who the f*ck cares".

Dude, this guy is one of the most social people around, everybody likes him and wants to be around him...and he directly admitted to me socialization and 'being normal" are over-rated beyond anything.

He told me that he's actually a very depressed person with low self-esteem, and he doesn't want to seek others' approval, but he does it because of that. He also has a bad drinking problem because of it.

Don't keep focusing on why you can't be normal; embrace what isn't normal about you, cause that's what stands out, makes you unique, and actually makes you very interesting.

and if other folks can't appreciate how awesome and unique you are, once again, to quote my friend: "f*ck 'em"

I kid you not. He said it... a popular NT dude said that. consider that.

I guess I was just curious as to whether they were faking it. But you're right.Whatever.

I think that what you're talking about might actually be a form of imaginative play-- in front of the camera, people think about the memory that they want to create, what they want the photos to say. If those stories don't come to you, I don't know if it's possible, unless you come up with a standard camera "script."

Has anyone else found themselves unable to do the TAT (thematic apperception test)? Do normal people actually look at a photo of somebody and come up with a whole story about them?!

I remember taking the TAT as a child. I guess I was able to come up with something. I don't remember. I'd love to see those records but they are gone. The inkblot test I pretty much see nothing but pelvic bones and word association I absolutely cannot do because the word that pops into my head is always the word just spoken.
But as to mugging for camera, I guess the most telling aspect of my inability to do it is my rigid inability to fake emotion.

Just Do It!

Aimless, I have a suggestion that might work for you. I was always one of those people with a rigid expression or a forced attempt at a smile in photos. Actually for years I would not look at myself in the mirror. When I started to do Facebook and online dating, I knew I needed good pictures. So this is what I did:

First, I found something to make me crack up laughing. Everyone has something. For me, it was turning on the TV to "Blues Clues." I look very much like the host, Steve Burns. So he starts doing a ridiculous dance and singing and making really odd faces, and I just can't help but crack up.

Then, I take my camera and set the timer, and I just take lots of photos. It has to be a lot because I won't keep laughing the whole time. Laughter by definition is spontaneous and it happens in a split second. So the more I take, the more likely I am to capture a great expression.

But the best part is this: Once I got a few good pics and looked at them, I could finally see what I looked like with a real smile, as if it was for the first time. I liked how it looked. And it gave me a mental picture of myself to keep in my head. So it actually became easier to smile naturally, without thinking of "Blues Clues." I won't say I can now do it on cue, but pretty close. And I can do it in front of the mirror, and be goofy and mug and all that. My whole self-image is pretty much altered.

So, give it a try, maybe it will work for you too.