Seriously people, whats with the attitude?
leejosepho
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It also seems to me that allot of AS users on this board also think NTs are the enemy.
Talking about who we like or do not like and even getting on into who is actually hated is certainly no part of trying to help each other learn to survive and thrive in this world, yet doing so has led to your raising this current issue ... and I see that as a good thing.
Some of us might be more needy than others, and that is a factor here, but we all need people of all types in our lives ...
... and I think it would be great if more NTs were willing and thoughtful enough -- there already are a few -- to either come here and talk or to welcome us wherever they are so we could all work together ...
But for now, at least you have helped to make some of us more aware of the emptiness and worthlessness of bitterness.
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I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================
You are giving me more credit then I deserve. I think this should have been said a long time ago, and I was surprised it wasn't.
It's as you say, we need to work together with each other (NT/AS) to find common ground.
And to promote that, see my post in the suggestions form about the newspaper/reviews. I think something like that could be a good step.
Vivienne
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Joined: 22 Dec 2009
Age: 47
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Okay to state from the start - I read your post but not the replies (too eager!)
Thank you for saying that! I had noticed the same thing, and these are my thoughts about it.
Mostly, I think that the people who are posting negative feelings towards NT's are venting. Blowing steam. Getting their frustrations out - nothing more. I'm 98% sure that in real life, if an NT wanted to converse with them they'd be open to it.
Secondly, regarding Autism Speaks, NT influences and the like, I suspect that some people are taking some of the things these NT's are saying too literally. I don't believe that these people want to change who you are, I think they, overall, want to teach people the skills they'll need so that life isn't so difficult for them in the long run.
As a parent of an Aspie kid, I don't want to change him - I'm not stupid enough to think that's possible - but I do want to equip him with as much knowledge about how other people think as I can, so that he will have less difficulty getting along in the world. If he wants friends, and I can help teach him some of those hidden techniques (I've learned in my 30 years), then I'd like to spare him a lifetime of "trying to figure it out" if I can.
Think about it. If someone had taught you, as a child, how to manage social interactions so that the other kids wouldn't bully you, or shun you, or torment you.. so that you might be included in the play - wouldn't you want that?
That's what I believe the NT's mean by "curing". It's another word for "making life easier". Perhaps they don't understand that it's not a disease. Whatever. If what they're doing can help a few kids get along better, express themselves so that others hear them, and make kids feel like less of an outcast; then maybe they deserve our support and guidance rather than our outrage and ridicule.
I just think that if we work together, instead of clashing with one another, we can make some of these kids' lives truly easier. Our childhoods are what they were, but other kids could be spared if we work together.
My two cents.
_________________
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.
~Thomas à Kempis
"Be plain, good son, and homely in thy drift;
Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift"
~Shakespeare
I see what the OP was trying to say. I agree with him. We are all people and we all have to deal w/crap sometimes. Just because someone is NT their life is not automatically a bed of roses. NT's have to deal with bullies, jerks, bad bosses, stress at home & in their family lives too. Really, if you could just be an NT for a week I think you'd see that we have a lot to deal with in our lives too.
A thread was started on this forum once along the lines of, "What if everyone on earth was an Aspie?". Would a world with no NT's be Utopia? Apparently not, as the thread quickly degraded into bickering & in fighting among aspies.
You don't really want a world without NT's. Really, you don't.
I don't think anyone who uses the term curing like Autism Speaks means it as making life easier. Cures are used to end disease. The goal of making life easier for kids with ASD is good, but I think anyone with that goal would refrain from using the term "cure".
Its funny you ask me if as a child, given the chance to fit in better and join in the play, would I have. I don't really know. If I could make the choice now for my past self, I may say no. I would not have minded fitting in, but... well, there are allot of issues for me there.
I don't feel that anyone, be it parents, doctors, teachers, etc should be able to say how any child should grow. They might think it's best, they may have years of experience and/or degrees but I really think anyone forcing a life style or choice on a child because they think it will benefit them is the right thing to do.
However I do agree that as you say: "I just think that if we work together, instead of clashing with one another, we can make some of these kids' lives truly easier. Our childhoods are what they were, but other kids could be spared if we work together."
Tory_canuck
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I do not hate all NTs, just those who were mean, and I do not consider these bullies NTs at all anyway.NTs are neither bad nor good...kinda like a random object in the corner...It is there but it is not causing any trouble nor is it doing anything to affect anyone. I consider the bullies NeuroNazis or NeuroFacists---a whole entire grouping of their own. I have been around many good NTs and do not hate them...I HOWEVER, do hate neurofacists and neuronazis.
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Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.
ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!
I think most of us agree with that >.>
Its hard to get past some of my past experiences especially the ones I have scars from but I have no hate towards the whole any those who have hurt me. To resharpen the point most anti-nt rants are venting, but there are so much good but human nature tends to highlight the bad and hardly ever savor the good always looking for what is nect and such.
Tory_canuck
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Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
I think most of us agree with that >.>
Its hard to get past some of my past experiences especially the ones I have scars from but I have no hate towards the whole any those who have hurt me. To resharpen the point most anti-nt rants are venting, but there are so much good but human nature tends to highlight the bad and hardly ever savor the good always looking for what is nect and such.
I DO savour the good. Although I was bullied by neurofacists in my younger years, I do have many good memories of various NTs who were good to me and treated me like a human.My high school vice principal always stood up for those who were bullied regardless of AS?NT ness.Overall, most of my high school teachers were excellent.There were a few of them who were bullies, but the good outweighed the bad.Overall, I had a good quality education at my high school and most of the teachers did what they could to help me get to where I am today.I still do talk to many of them.Although I still do suffer from the pain endured at the hands of the neurofacists, memories of the good are helping me overcome that, as well as my present situation of being in college and having excellent instructors.I also have a good friend who is an immigrant from El Salvador.He is NT, but he is one of the best friends anyone can ask for.He is loyal and hard working.I will never forget them at all.I am hoping to invited my vice principal and a few others to my college graduation so they can savour the fact that they helped get me to where I am and I feel they deserve to get credit for their dedication and kindness.
_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.
ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!
I think most of us agree with that >.>
Its hard to get past some of my past experiences especially the ones I have scars from but I have no hate towards the whole any those who have hurt me. To resharpen the point most anti-nt rants are venting, but there are so much good but human nature tends to highlight the bad and hardly ever savor the good always looking for what is nect and such.
I DO savour the good. Although I was bullied by neurofacists in my younger years, I do have many good memories of various NTs who were good to me and treated me like a human.My high school vice principal always stood up for those who were bullied regardless of AS?NT ness.Overall, most of my high school teachers were excellent.There were a few of them who were bullies, but the good outweighed the bad.Overall, I had a good quality education at my high school and most of the teachers did what they could to help me get to where I am today.I still do talk to many of them.Although I still do suffer from the pain endured at the hands of the neurofacists, memories of the good are helping me overcome that, as well as my present situation of being in college and having excellent instructors.I also have a good friend who is an immigrant from El Salvador.He is NT, but he is one of the best friends anyone can ask for.He is loyal and hard working.I will never forget them at all.I am hoping to invited my vice principal and a few others to my college graduation so they can savour the fact that they helped get me to where I am and I feel they deserve to get credit for their dedication and kindness.
Yes good can come in many forms take my stepfather for example, big burly redneck man yet I haven't met anyone kinder towards me and my brothers plus I see him more as my real father than my biological one. Its people like this that makes me feel like this world isn't rotten to the core
Vivienne
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Joined: 22 Dec 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 276
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I understand your point, but, that is exactly what parents do. It is the whole nature vs. nurture debate. From the moment you have a child, you are responsible for making sure 1) that child stays alive, and 2) that child develops into an adult who can take care of themselves.
In an ideal world, you'd be able to let the child "just be" and then one day when they were 21 they'd walk into the world and live a glorious life. But that is not how it is. Babies are born with no skills beyond sucking and crying. Everything, everything else is taught.
All children are biologically wired to think and behave a certain way, to like certain things and to grow to a certain height. But social skills, language, and common sense are always taught. As a parent, that whole responsibility falls onto you. If you slip up, there are an unlimited manner of things that could end in your childs death, disfigurement, or psychological destruction.
It's a whole lot of responsibility, and that's why most parents do their absolute best to adjust their child to the world. It definitely doesn't mean that they like that world!
The guilt a parent feels when their child : ends up in jail, drops out of school, gets hooked on drugs, feels so depressed they're suicidal, hates themselves so much they slice themselves up or starve themselves to bones, can't deal to the extent they cut themselves off from the world - is major, and wholly deserved. After all, we are the ones that raised you.
Most all parents want the best for their kids, and they try their best. Many fall short. Eventually, if we've done it right, the child will become an adult with thoughts and opinions of their own and will challenge us. Their minds will be so strong that they'll break out of the mould and create their own life.
That is success.
That's what we want.
[Sorry 'bout the rant. I'm passionate about this topic.
_________________
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.
~Thomas à Kempis
"Be plain, good son, and homely in thy drift;
Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift"
~Shakespeare
I agree. I do hate it. But when we go to NT forums that talk about their aspie partners, we are the bad guys and we are being trashed. We don't like that. But yet we do it here about NTs.
I used to do NT trashing but then I stopped couple years ago realizing it's so stupid and we can be just as bad as NTs and are capable of lying cheating, being unaccepting of people, judgmental, narrow minded bullying. Heck even aspies annoy each other. I have met some aspies who's told me they found other aspies annoying they met and couldn't stand them. We are no better than NTs.
Until there is not one single aspie who is all the things I listed we see in NTs, we will never be better until the day it happens.
A noticeable fraction of neurotypicals believe themselves to be superior, however.
But, this is our world to sculpt as we wish. Neurotypicals can diss us on some of their forums (oh, yes they do). What's wrong with responses?
Correct. However, we cannot let the normals destroy us anyway.
Malcolm X, Huey Newton, etc would point out otherwise.
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A thread was started on this forum once along the lines of, "What if everyone on earth was an Aspie?". Would a world with no NT's be Utopia? Apparently not, as the thread quickly degraded into bickering & in fighting among aspies.
You don't really want a world without NT's. Really, you don't.
Hell If I could be an NT just for once, I'd do it only because I want to see what it's like and how they see things and what I have been missing. But I like being me and don't wish I could get rid of AS.
Wasn't that you that stated that thread? I remember you asking that and you said about how aspies will argue about a lighbulb being screwed in "No no you aren't doing it right." That was funny.
1. A large amount my think like that. So what. They are wrong for doing so, and we are wrong if we think the same.
2. Whats wrong with the responses is that it shows us to be just as, for lack of a better term, stupid as the NT's that bash us.
3. What is normal >.>
4. which part? The we should know better or the our responses give them fuel?
@Warsie - with the amount of posts you have on WP I will assume you are not trying to troll me but instead offer argument in a constructive way.
@Spokane_Girl - so what if they bash us. Why does it bother you so much? Sure, its an a**hole thing to do (either side) but getting mad about it and doing the same on the WP forum A) does not change a damn thing and B)brings "us" down to "their" level.
@Vivienne - I do agree, and my post may have been hasty and not quite what I think, though it was the best way to convey my thoughts about it. Of course the parent has to have influence. I was objecting to the people who try to force views on others because they think it is right (IE Autism Speaks, Pro-Cure people, etc)
