What were you like in school?

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Keeping to myself; clownish when trying to be social; clueless about teachers' expectations; underachieving; asking "strange" questions; bullied; scared of teachers; losing the ability to speak when pressured; running away crying when overloaded; having a few friends, but only because they decided to "take care of" me; going into rages about real and perceived injustices; feeling I wasn't being taken seriously; feeling unreal or fake; feeling stupid; bored, because I couldn't think of anything "fun" to do after I quit playing with dolls and such because even my friends thought it was weird; lonely & depressed during holidays, but overworked during school semesters; perceived as "strange" by most, but liked by a few other oddballs; etc...

Not that I (that's me) was always totally unhappy at school; the best things about it were my friends, and the discovery of my freedom to take my jacket, my bag, and some food, and go wherever I liked during breaks, and sometimes during classes (when needed). That feeling of independence, and knowing that whatever you're in isn't that important, took me a long time to learn, but it's very strong now. Other places have tried to take that away from me but they haven't succeeded.

Nursery school - went for a week or two but hid behind the piano and wouldn't come out so my mom pulled me out...
Was so shy that when relatives or anybody else would come and visit, I'd hide in my room.
Kindergarten - no memory
First Grade - sent to private, quaker school with lots of spoiled rich kids. All I remember is having the teacher lock me in the closet because I got mad at some kids picking on me...
Second grade - father on sabbatical in Virginia. Went to some hick school where they beat kids with a paddle. I didn't say a word, I was so terrified! But they must have thought I was smart, so they moved me to third grade after a couple weeks.
Third grade (again) - Family moved to Massachusetts. for some odd reason my parents didn't advance me so I took third grade again. They later claimed they never new I was skipped. New school was exact opposite of Virginia school. Open classroom. I breezed through everything except book reports or anything oral. I would avoid doing the report so that I wouldn't have to give the oral presentation. Brought a big fridge box into class and spent most of my time in it reading and looking at people through my home-made periscope. Did have some friends but overall was pathalogically shy.
Fourth-sixth grade - moved back to Pennsylvania. Discovered electricity and gifted classes with computers. Started programming. Was pretty good at playing with others in the playground but was terrified of girls. Any time they'd speak to me, I'd just smile and blush (and wish I could run away and hide).
7th-8th grade - junior high school nightmare. Kids used to come up and give me charlie horses by kneeing me in the leg muscle. This continued until I fought back and ended up with a black eye. Still terrified of girls. Had a couple "friends"
9-12th grade - moved back to Mass. A bit more social but still couldn't talk to girls. Found other science and computer geeks and had fun being the leader of the geeks.

Throughout life - no ability to talk in large groups. I sit there and soak everything in. Usually I'll hold conversation in my head and not have the courage to say anything until many minutes after that part of the conversation is over. In conversational groups of 2-4, sometimes I can talk, or if it's a discussion on some specific topic where I'm specifically asked for an opinion or have a "turn" to talk.

Much better at one-on-one conversation about some "deep" topic.

at primary school i didnt do much work and used to sit and daydream all the time. i was quite adept socially though and had lots of friends.

secondary school i had a nervous breakdown aged 13 and developed a pychosis. i had to leave

PreSchool: Don't remember much. I do remember playing on some tunnel/slide wood and plastic playset though. And my parents said the teacher forgot about me once and left locked in the bathroom for almost two hours.

K-1: Girls frequently approached me asked for pictures because I could draw. I was deamed gifted by the principal because of one really good drawing. I also nearly committed homicide upon another student who teased a relative of mine, perhaps I lacked the perception to know how serious the teasing was. The first time they looked at me as being "unique", mom said this was the second time (first I was 2) I was analyzed, no solid dx or conclusion made at either one. I had my first bullies at this time. They were second grader girls when I was in K. There was one nice teacher who tried extra hard on my behalf.

2-5: Run in with a mean/inexperienced teacher who was in the habit of taping me to the desk with a tape muffle, cruel punishments for any wrongdoing, often refused to come in from recess (she left me out there), spanking before the class (as if that were the middle ages and public punishment was the norm), and she also seemed to hate me anyway. I heard she was eventually removed the teaching field, surprise, but not soon enough. Had a few friends. Had bullies, turned on at least one when he got on my nerves. Usually, we practised mutual destruction stalemate with bullies. Played soccer and football constently. (At that time I could not catch the football or throw, so I usually played running back, I did that well).

6: Moved to a different school, lost what few friends I took years building. I reacted by becoming class clown and my disruptions became more severe. Refusal of school to actually help. One reason why I am still bitter and hate Catholicism today. I still percieve the principle as evil or one of Satan's demons. School took opportunity when I was sick for 2 weeks with Spinal Menengitus to falsely reason this put me to far behind school work and gave me a written warning. Merely a way to hold me back a year at the first sign of trouble, which the evil bastards did. I was analyzed for the third and last time in public schools. Again no dx made, but ideas suggested for improving my behavior. At the time, I thought this was to manage my temper.

7-8: Gradually lost interest in any attempts at extroverted behavior, something I played with every now and then upto this time with the highlight being in sixth grade. Got a few nicknames, not neccessarily pleasant ones. Misunderstandings of what boob play from one student to another student was. Early hints that girls were different, I don't think I was ever aware of this fully or truely even hinted at until about this time. Maybe a little from sixth grade. Lacked the ability to use school restrooms at all, don't know that I did not have this earlier or if my preschool or mean teacher in second grade contributed or not.

9-12: to be continued...

I was really shy at first, and wouldn't even answer the register!

I gradually got better, but it wasn't until I left school that I felt almost like I fitted in a bit.

Pre-school: Was a little shy with strangers but talked non-stop at anyone else. Once I'd been at school a few weeks this settled down somewhat as I was overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of kids there.

First school: Would try to make friends but was constantly made fun of or picked on- started faking illnesses so I could stay at home with my grandparents. Would have a friend for a week or two and then they would start making fun of me and telling everyone my 'secrets'.

Middle school: Stopped answering questions in class unless I had time to think through exactly what I was going to say several times before speaking. Also wanted to avoid being picked on for being a 'goody goody'. Would still trust people completely and would tell them anything and be surprised when they told everyone else.
Always had an odd sense of humour and got made fun of for that. Only really had a couple of friends- one was my 'friend' for years, and the other one died.

Upper school: Had about 3 close friends (one of whom I knew from middle school), but they constantly told everyone else the stuff I had confided in them, were always making fun of me and would always leave me out of their plans.


I would always try really hard to be liked but I never really had a good friend (apart from the one from middle school- who I still miss from time to time). I was too open with people, would tell people far too much about myself, I wouldn 't talk much at all to people unless I felt comfortable with them and then I would talk far too much.

I am a loner I have been taking crap from everyone since 4th grade. In 4th grade, people would chase me on my bicycle. One day, one kid stood on the front steps of the school and said that i was gay, i am not. People slashed my bicycle tires, i witnessed it. i told the principal, he said since i couldnt prove who did it i was out of luck. In 7th grade, I was actually run out of town. I was living in Salem MA then aka Aspie Hell. I moved back home to bangor quick fast and in a hurry. Now in High school i am run off the road almost daily, people throw cigarette butts at me, those things hurt when they are on fire and flying at 40 miles an hour. I do not go to the mall because that is where everyone hangs out, i feel unwelcome there. Just last week, I went into McDonalds there, and two of these heathens were there, they started there usual crap i said to them "Cut the Shi-" The lady behind the counter said i could leave if i was going to talk like that. After that. They started swearing at me calling me every name in the book using the f-word quite liberally, the McIdiot behind the counter seemed okay with it. Later, when I went to take the bus, as i was loading my bicycle on the rack, they came up and poured a coffee down my back, i told them to f-off, they told me to suck their dic-. My school life has not been easy. My eye doctor is in the mall and i have to go today to have my glasses repaired, a cracked lens is better that seeing those idiots, im not going.

If one starts something, then stand up to the challenge and fight back. I got into many fights and so was not as likely to recieve direct attacks or insults.

K-4: I was cold, unfriendly, and unathletic. I had one great friend that I went everywhere with, but otherwise I was pretty much alone, and didn't really give a damn about it. Spent most of the time playing computer games. I had frequent behavioral problems at school and regularly visited the school counselor in Kindergarten and grade 4. Early on my parents considered that I might be hyperactive, but didn't pursue anything because of my superb grades.

5: I was still shy and quiet, but I opened up a lot. Discovered that I have a talent for public speaking and was elected to the Student Council. I started getting interested in piano and was even a pretty good baseball player. I still only had one or two close friends, but I was able to hang out with the more popular kids.

6: Moved from California to Maryland. I went to an expensive private school, so most of the kids there were complete snobs. I can only think of one genuine friend I had there. Anyone else that came into contact with me at all either made fun of me or pretended to be my friend just to screw with my emotions. Example: over the summer I spent some time at a "friend''s house while my parents where out of town. He treated me like dirt. When a neighbor asked him who I was, he replied "Our parents think we're supposed to be friends or something."

7: Entered the public school system. I had no friends, and was teased constantly. My grades tanked, I lost total interest in school, and recieved notices that if I didn't improve I'd have to repeat the grade. Fortunately I managed to pass.

8: Almost failed again, but this time around I was quickly becoming a big rock fan and had a few friends that shared my interests. Almost had my first girlfriend, but was so clueless that I didn't realize that the girl was attracted to me (she later admitted she had a big crush on me ), despite the fact that she would follow me around hugging me. Started looking into ADHD testing.

9-10 (present): Continued to become more and more involved in music. Also started watching anime, and, in the last year, became completely obsessed with politics. Halfway through Freshman year my grades suddenly pulled up and since I've been getting mostly B's. Again almost had my first girlfriend, and again didn't realize that she was attracted to me. We're still good friends, but now she thinks I'm gay.

The common thread that's kept me so lonely the whole time is that I simply don't have a social life outside of school. I never contact anyone; the last time I called someone just to socialize was almost two years ago, and it's been at least a year since I've been to any normal social gathering. And whenever I'm given an opportunity to start, I turn away at the last minute.

Whoa! I had to abbreviate this as well. I am tending to overwrite to an extreme these days.

Preschool: Vague memories. Running around pointing my hand like a gun, saying
”Bang! Bang!” I slapped a boy in the face because he pinched my sister.

Kindergarten: I was scared the first day. All I remember is being more aloof than the other children.

1st thru 3rd grades: I was shy and very quiet. I never spoke up in class and never asked for help. I made friends, all who lived within one block of my home. In second grade I became a daydreamer. Bullies became an issue during these years, but harassment was not overly frequent. Also I noticed that I was always one of the last kids picked for team sports.

4th thru 6th grades: I couldn’t pay attention at all in class and constantly daydreamed and stared out the window. My parents forced me to take pills, (Ritalin) which made me feel like a freak. Then I was exposed to The Chronicles of Narnia and began reading furiously. Now instead of daydreaming or acting up, I read books in class when I was supposed to be paying attention. My friends remained the same people. The bullying continued. In sixth grade, I had my first real crush on a girl.

7th thru 9th: In seventh grade, I stopped taking the Ritalin without my parent’s knowledge. My grades fell and I was getting D’s in math and failing English. It was at this time that I truly began having trouble fitting in. Bullying became a real problem. I snapped and fought back against two bullies, which ended that problem. I started wearing my hair long, to the chagrin of my parents. PE class was a daily torment for me and I would use any excuse not to participate. No one wanted me on their team, still. In seventh grade, however, I did get an “A” in gymnastics! I had a girlfriend for a couple months in ninth grade.

10th grade: I made some new friends. In groups I was invisible and very uncomfortable. I was failing every class except for guitar and general science. I would leave after second period and hit my skateboard. Often I just played guitar in the park all day, or took a bus to Hollywood. Soon I was sent to a continuation school. There I earned credits solely by doing book reports. Eventually I was sent back to my old school, where I ceased attending all classes. I could no longer stand to be around the school and felt awfully uncomfortable. I took a proficiency exam, which was the equivalent of a high school diploma. At sixteen, my first relationship began, which lasted until I was twenty.

College: I signed up for a full schedule of classes at my community college. Within weeks, I had dropped everything but classical guitar technique and music theory. I aced the guitar class, but failed music theory. The next semester I tried the music theory class again, but gave up half way through. I was completely aloof from everyone and had serious trouble learning. It felt like a waste to attend school as I remembered very little, had trouble taking notes, and didn’t want to be around the other students.

When I was twenty-seven, I attended an arc welding course at a community college, which I failed. I did make a friend there, so it wasn’t a complete waste.

In three words: quiet nerdy loner. I was pretty typical except for my quietness - no quirks or anything aside from the nerdiness. Grade school was complete hell. I was big, and got reminders of that every day from a couple of other students. I'd been told that they were almost all jealous of my intelligence (so am I, frankly) and that jealousy manifested itself in teasing from a few of the kids. The teasing got real bad one day with the prime perpetrator, and I decided I wasn't going to take it anymore. So I hit the kid. Not real hard - just enough to get the point across. Mrs. 6th Grade Teacher, aware of my problems, promptly called my mother at work (wait for it, it's worth it)...

To say how proud she was that I finally took a stand against the bully! She even warned my mother not to punish me when I got home that day, or there was gonna be trouble. That day the teasing pretty much stopped. But I was still a loner, and reveled in my solitude.

Even into HS I didn't set out to meet anyone, but managed to fall in with a couple kids. I noticed a big difference in how I was treated by everyone and that changed me a little. I got kinda depressed toward the end of HS since the next year I'd be mainstreamed back into my regular HS. Then I REALLY got depressed, plus I had a case of culture shock going from such a small school (about 50 students) to such a big one (over 1000). I was intimidated by kids asking me questions about myself so I withdrew. I came back out of my shell a little in college and I haven't really changed since then.

I was always quiet and a loner, in my vary early school years I chased cloud shadows and liked playing in tall grass, esp when I seen the wind blow the grass seemingly in waves like that of water, as I got older there was a graveyard close to my school, I used to like to go and hang out there reading the head stones and pondering them, the years after that I tended to hang out in the school library and read or just any place that I could be left in peace. while in class I mostly sat and read to my self or daydreamed, having little interest in anything else. I was vary withdrawn.

I just remembered I cried my first day at kindergarten. I banged on the window crying to my mom wondering why she left me there. I got into many fights in later years too.

I suck at it. That's pretty much it.

Even though I know I'm a lot smarter than my peers.

None of my post pertains to my friends outside of school. I have two different sets of friends. I've had the same friends outside of school since late elementary school.

Pre School: I was very eccentric. I don't think I was socially aware enough to notice any oddities in myself at that point.

Elementary School: I started to live in my own head a lot. I didn't care much about what we learned because I thought it was a waste of time and I thought I was a lot smarter than most of my teachers. Looking back, I'm sure most of my teachers thought I was either a genius or ret*d. Being alone didn't bother me at all. I really didn't notice the other kids much.

Middle School: Suddenly became aware of my social shortcomings. Because of this, I became pretty withdrawn and quiet. I learned it was better to keep my mouth shut than make a fool of myself. I think most of my teachers thought I was a lazy and intelligent student.

High School (Now): My freshman year I developed a sort of artificial confidence so I coud make friends. Two years later my parents and I discovered AS and my life changed completely. The friends I made during my freshman year are still my fiends, and now I don't have to have anymore articficial confidence. For the most part, I am comfortable with who I am now.

Let's see this quick -

Preschool - There's a funny anecdote about this time: The teacher told us all to draw a pine contour on a piece of paper - Christmas stuff. No matter how I tried, I just couldn't draw the damn pine, while I saw other kids doing it so flawlessly. Needless to say I began to cry. Before the situation hit Defcon 1, the teacher came to my rescue and helped me draw the pine. Years later, I got my degree in Arts and Design at college. Go figure.

Elementary - Quite the loner. I remember myself walking endlessly through halls at time of recess, but somehow I enjoyed it. Throw in a tendence to bad temper and you can see how was a bullies favorite as well. I still regret talking much about that to this day. School days were hell for me. That bully thing lasted well into mid-high school, believe it or not.

On third grade, I had a crush on a girl who happened to be the daughter of a soon-to-be influential local artist and media personality. I have always wondered what would have happened if that crush would have become into something else.

Middle / High School - Here in Latin America middle and high school are usually rolled into one. As I said, I fell prey to bullying well into ninth grade; fortunately, by that time most of my classmates began to "grow up" and "get girls" (hmph!) so I was thankfully left alone and in peace with myself. Wasn't stellar at making friends, but the few ones that I did still talk and greet me to this day (when we have met). I discovered my sudden interest/skills in arts (thanks to a visionary artist who was my teacher), and that pretty much defined my career ever since.[/b]