Do you think it's rude to ask if someone has autism?

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If someone asks in front of a bunch of other people and are only asking to insult you (like the "are you ret*d" thing), then of course it's rude. But if the person asking is autistic (or at least actually knows anything about autism) and takes you aside to ask because they actually see those traits in you and want to talk about autism with someone, then I don't think that it's rude.

I don't care anymore if people ask if I'm ret*d. Back then they literally meant it but today it's more likely a phrase now. I've been asked now occasionally if I'm mentally challenged. That would have offended me in my teens. After hearing that word being thrown around by kids calling each other that, I stopped taking offense to it.

Two years ago this stranger asked me if I was autistic and I said I had a form of it but we were just alone walking and talking and I told him about Benny & Joon and told him all the actors in it. He said he thinks he might have it himself. But I couldn't stop thinking what did I do. I asked him why he asked and he said he knows someone with it and he might have it. But he wouldn't tell me what I was doing.

I still think it's rude to ask because some people might get offended because they might not like to be labeled autistic or mentally challenged, etc. while some others don't care because what if they didn't have it? There were two people this year I wanted to ask if they wee autistic but I bit my tongue. It turned out one of them did have autism because he played the card to get this lady in our class to move her pot of cereal off the table and on the floor even though the lid was on. He said it was his autism, the texture of the food and I didn't buy it because it wouldn't make any difference for it if it were in the ground, the image would still be in his head. I didn't think it was a big deal because it was small. An item being moved, so what.

Im guessing its rude. I personally wouldnt take offense to it but I can see how someone would. The general population has a negative perception towards autism. Whether a person has autism or not is there own personal business.

I wouldn't ask. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't suspect.

I wouldn't say anything unless the person (presumably my friend) brought it up themselves.

I treat it like 'gaydar'; I am able to spot it in a person, but unless they "come out" to me, I'm not going to even bring it up.

Fortunately, most people find me really easy to disclose things to (dunno why). I've had a lot of people disclose all manner of personal things to me; I always take it with a grain of salt. I'm not judgmental. I love honesty. But if you lie to me.. watch out!

I think it would usually be perceived as being rude, but I don't agree with that.

I wouldn't mind if someone asked me, if anything I'd be happy to be talking to someone who actually knows what Asperger's/autism actually is, and knows enough to identify traits in me.

I'd never have the balls to ask someone if they have it, but it never crossed my mind that it might be considered rude.

I do suspect a few people I know of having it, though.

It depends on how it is asked. If you go up to someone, get in their face and are like, "What's wrong with you. You're so weird. Are you autistic or something?" I would veiw as rude. But if you said something like, "Excuse me, I have something called autism/Asperger's. It may be just me but you remind me of myself a little bit. Do you have autism/AS too?" might be okay.

I heard it's rude to walk up to someone and ask what is wrong with their child so it should be the same for people with disabilities but my mom told me if I am curious, I can ask something like "Is it okay if I ask what disability your kid has?" and ask someone if it's okay to ask what they have.

So what PunkyKat said sounds about right.

I think it's a bit like asking someone if they are pregnant. If you're wrong...

Yes, I think it would be highly offensive, unless asked in a very careful manner.

I was recently asked if I had a mental illness in a local supermarket. I wasn't in the least bit bothered; my mum was furious.

Someone at the bus stop yesterday asked me if I have Tourettes.

I don't but I do have autism

I haven't thought about it before, but, no one actually asks me. I'm left with the impression strangers don't think I am very bright while people who know me well think a variety of things. I don't know if it would be considered rude to ask someone else. I wouldn't ask them because I have learned there's not much of a point in asking really personal questions of people.

...

I think Rain Bird has it right.

For example, if one of my 6th graders said to another something like, "Duh, are you autisic?" I would know she meant it as a hurtful comment. However, if one of my friends was talking to me privately and said, "I've been wondering, are you autistic?" I'd know they were just curious, and I'd say, "Yeah, I have Asperger's Syndrome -- are you familiar with that?" I might be offended if a virtual stranger asked...I'd probably say, "Yes, and you?"

I wondered that also. I've seen a few customers at work that i suspected were autistic, but i was afraid to say anything about it because i thought it might seem offensive.. Like it might frustrate them that someone else found their autistic behavior so obvious, or something. And then if they were offended i'd have to explain that i'm on the spectrum too and didn't mean any offense, and then from there i wouldn't know what to do. Or if it turned out that they weren't then i'm sure they'd take it as an insult and think that i'm accusing them of behaving strangely. So, yeah, i've decided against saying anything a few times despite kind of wanting to Of course, if someone asked me if i was autistic, i don't think that i'd be offended at all.. So i guess if the other person was the same way, then maybe i could make a friend. But you never know how someone else is going to take something like that, so with that i've always tried to be safe and not say anything. If someone was really super-obvious about it, i might say something though.. who knows.