dreaming_water wrote:
Not bad, not dumb, not stupid. In fact you're a step ahead of me and many others, you manage to control it.
I also have a computer and computer game obsession. I had a Spectrum and played it a lot and enjoyed it but it really started when i got On The Bench, a football management game. I was facinated by all the stats and figures and would spend hours playing it, never wanting to leave, always wanting to go another game or another week or finish the season.
Over the years this moved to online games and MMO's. I hit maxium level on my cleric in Everquest during a 22 hour session. That's 22 hours in a single group (people left and were replaced) in a single place doing exactly the same thing every 5 minutes or so (Sebilis aoe group if anyone knows it). Worst of all was i planned this, it didn't just happen.
I went through a spell at around age 20 of getting home from work at 6pm, loggin straight on, eating quickly, playing until midnight when my american guild started their raids (50+ person group playing), playing until 4-5am, then getting up for work at 7.30am. Some nights i got home and literally fell straight asleep and woke up the next day. I'd fall asleep at work etc. One day i fell asleep on the way to work... survived thankfully tho my car and his lorry did not.
Now i still play, it's my release. I still aim to go to bed at midnight every night and usually manage 12.30 to 2am, sometimes i slip and it's 3-4am. I just can't regulate to make myself go to bed. When i get there i'm asleep within seconds. I can be almost non functioning at 3pm, wide awake again at 11pm and so tired i have headaches the next morning.
If i'm especially excited about a new game or new guild or new encounter i can't concentrate during the day. Some new games i look forward to for weekls, buy at midnight, play for 4 hours, go to work and end up taking the afternoon as holiday then play all day and night again, then decide the game is boring and stop playing it. It's crazy.
I do get satisfaction tho, it helps me to relax, helps me to stop thinking. I talk to people online, get my social fix, i even lead 40 other people over voice comunication and organise them all, working out what makes each person tick. It's like real proper socialising but without the body language, physical awkwardness and with specific fixed rules.
My ideal night tonight would be to play with my daughter for 10 minutes or so, hug and kiss my wife, then go play on the computer all night, be brought my tea, have a joke and laugh at some point with my wife and that's pretty much it.
First things first do your wife and daughter understand your obsession. But do you only enjoy mmos? Third do your daughter and wife enjoy the same games you do so you can socially interact with them through the game.
20 Jan 2010, 12:46 pm
