Managing Obsessions
[quote="dreaming_water"][/quote]
Not bad, not dumb, not stupid. In fact you're a step ahead of me and many others, you manage to control it.
I also have a computer and computer game obsession. I had a Spectrum and played it a lot and enjoyed it but it really started when i got On The Bench, a football management game. I was facinated by all the stats and figures and would spend hours playing it, never wanting to leave, always wanting to go another game or another week or finish the season.
Over the years this moved to online games and MMO's. I hit maxium level on my cleric in Everquest during a 22 hour session. That's 22 hours in a single group (people left and were replaced) in a single place doing exactly the same thing every 5 minutes or so (Sebilis aoe group if anyone knows it). Worst of all was i planned this, it didn't just happen.
I went through a spell at around age 20 of getting home from work at 6pm, loggin straight on, eating quickly, playing until midnight when my american guild started their raids (50+ person group playing), playing until 4-5am, then getting up for work at 7.30am. Some nights i got home and literally fell straight asleep and woke up the next day. I'd fall asleep at work etc. One day i fell asleep on the way to work... survived thankfully tho my car and his lorry did not.
Now i still play, it's my release. I still aim to go to bed at midnight every night and usually manage 12.30 to 2am, sometimes i slip and it's 3-4am. I just can't regulate to make myself go to bed. When i get there i'm asleep within seconds. I can be almost non functioning at 3pm, wide awake again at 11pm and so tired i have headaches the next morning.
If i'm especially excited about a new game or new guild or new encounter i can't concentrate during the day. Some new games i look forward to for weekls, buy at midnight, play for 4 hours, go to work and end up taking the afternoon as holiday then play all day and night again, then decide the game is boring and stop playing it. It's crazy.
I do get satisfaction tho, it helps me to relax, helps me to stop thinking. I talk to people online, get my social fix, i even lead 40 other people over voice comunication and organise them all, working out what makes each person tick. It's like real proper socialising but without the body language, physical awkwardness and with specific fixed rules.
My ideal night tonight would be to play with my daughter for 10 minutes or so, hug and kiss my wife, then go play on the computer all night, be brought my tea, have a joke and laugh at some point with my wife and that's pretty much it.
Tell me about it, I can't stop buying Doctor Who DVDs and watching them over and over and over and over and over and over.......

In fact, I'm watching Doctor Who right now!

Haha, I was watching Doctor Who at the same time as you as well. I ended up in bed at 5am and then woke up at 10am and watched some more Doctor Who.
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Michael H
mikkyh.info
Yes I did start obsessing over Asperger's quite a lot and still do a fair bit. I kept turning it over and over in my head: do I have it ?
And then of course looking it up and being interested in almost anything to do with Asperger's. But I don't really see this as a bad thing because now I know a lot of stuff about Asperger Syndrome and put it all into writing a blog.
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Michael H
mikkyh.info
jocundthelilac
Veteran

Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,541
Location: Maggiland's vital regions :P
Not bad, not dumb, not stupid. In fact you're a step ahead of me and many others, you manage to control it.
I also have a computer and computer game obsession. I had a Spectrum and played it a lot and enjoyed it but it really started when i got On The Bench, a football management game. I was facinated by all the stats and figures and would spend hours playing it, never wanting to leave, always wanting to go another game or another week or finish the season.
Over the years this moved to online games and MMO's. I hit maxium level on my cleric in Everquest during a 22 hour session. That's 22 hours in a single group (people left and were replaced) in a single place doing exactly the same thing every 5 minutes or so (Sebilis aoe group if anyone knows it). Worst of all was i planned this, it didn't just happen.
I went through a spell at around age 20 of getting home from work at 6pm, loggin straight on, eating quickly, playing until midnight when my american guild started their raids (50+ person group playing), playing until 4-5am, then getting up for work at 7.30am. Some nights i got home and literally fell straight asleep and woke up the next day. I'd fall asleep at work etc. One day i fell asleep on the way to work... survived thankfully tho my car and his lorry did not.
Now i still play, it's my release. I still aim to go to bed at midnight every night and usually manage 12.30 to 2am, sometimes i slip and it's 3-4am. I just can't regulate to make myself go to bed. When i get there i'm asleep within seconds. I can be almost non functioning at 3pm, wide awake again at 11pm and so tired i have headaches the next morning.
If i'm especially excited about a new game or new guild or new encounter i can't concentrate during the day. Some new games i look forward to for weekls, buy at midnight, play for 4 hours, go to work and end up taking the afternoon as holiday then play all day and night again, then decide the game is boring and stop playing it. It's crazy.
I do get satisfaction tho, it helps me to relax, helps me to stop thinking. I talk to people online, get my social fix, i even lead 40 other people over voice comunication and organise them all, working out what makes each person tick. It's like real proper socialising but without the body language, physical awkwardness and with specific fixed rules.
My ideal night tonight would be to play with my daughter for 10 minutes or so, hug and kiss my wife, then go play on the computer all night, be brought my tea, have a joke and laugh at some point with my wife and that's pretty much it.
First things first do your wife and daughter understand your obsession. But do you only enjoy mmos? Third do your daughter and wife enjoy the same games you do so you can socially interact with them through the game.
I just looked back in one of my Maths books (a subject that I wasn't interested in and therefore performed poorly in)...and I found loads of pictures of aircraft at the back that I'd drawn during Math lessons. This obsession is gone now (even though I still get very excited about aviation) though it did make me laugh at how I could of missed having Asperger Syndrome for so long. It was so obvious!
Also at the back of the book was a lot of air traffic control terminology - of which I studied very hard.
Departing Aircraft (PA-024) - Papa Alpha 0-2-4 requesting taxi to runway 11L via November, Charlie, Foxtrot, Papa.
ATC: Papa Alpha 0-2-4 you are cleared for taxi to runway via November, Charlie, Foxtrot, Papa. Hold at Alpha 1.
Departing Aircraft (PA-024) - Papa Alpha 0-2-4 taxiing to runway 11L
Departing Aircraft (PA-024) - Papa Alpha 0-2-4 holding at Alpha 1...ready to depart.
ATC: Papa Alpha 0-2-4 position and hold
Departing Aircraft (PA-024) - Roger
Departing Aircraft (PA-024) - Papa Alpha 0-2-4 holding for departure
ATC: Papa Alpha 0-2-4 you are cleared for takeoff. Fly straight ahead for 1 mile. Wind speed is 10mph NE.
I may have got it a little wrong as I just did it and it's been nearly a year since I last used my flight simulator. Also I missed some stuff out because I'm somewhat preoccupied and doing other stuff so wanted to do it quickly.
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Michael H
mikkyh.info