Best way to handle meltdowns?

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Thanks for all of your input! This is all very helpful.

I find that my kiddos want to "sleep it off" too...in fact that is often the only thing that really ends it for them. Anyway, keep the ideas coming!

You've got to distinguish between "angry" and "sad" meltdowns.

I have "sad" meltdowns between once a week and twice a day, depending on how stressed I am. There, I think having someone to talk to helps. However, the other person has to handle it right. They can't question whether I'm really worried, they can't just accept it passively. I think "is there anything I can do?" would be a good start.

"Angry" meltdowns need to be left alone. I have these very rarely.

I can talk my son down from both kinds of melt downs angry and sad but it is different and you need to know which it is and getting it wrong can make it worse. He can bring himself out with the correct type of thinking from both kinds and get on with his day. He stopps many himself before they get going but if it gets past that point at age 11 he stil needs help. If he is not brought out he tends to be stuck there. I think it really helps that he does not like having them because he hates being out of control. He is glad for the help and knows I am here to do it. When he gets to that point at school I get a call and I fix the issue. I know he cannot always be dependant on me but he is still young and it works well and quickly so we will go with it.

So, do you think that a "sad" meltdown is somehow rooted in anxiety/worry more than actual sadness or despair? That is what some of the posts seem to imply. Anxiety is a huge issue in our house. I struggle with GAD and didn't even realize the severity until I started experiencing some scary physical symptoms this summer and ended up in the doctor's office. Both of my kiddos on the spectrum struggle with it too, and I know anxiety is a common occurrence with anybody on the spectrum, so I am just curious whether said anxiety triggers the "sad" kind of meltdowns.

actually anxiety is a huge issue with Tate his sad and his angry meltdowns that he cannot head off are both full blown panic attacks they just haves different start and needs different things to stop them.

I sad meltdown for me isn't always about anxiety but more to do with rejection and low self esteem. Usually having negative thoughts that cycle themselves around my head.

When I get a meltdown I like to either run to my room or hurt the person who triggered the meltdown or throw things. These things help me calm down a lot.

Pensieve: << The sad meltdown for me isn't always about anxiety but more to do with rejection and low self esteem. Usually having negative thoughts that cycle themselves around my head.>>

This happens to my son a lot. Once he starts thinking about something negative it seems like he just can't stop perseverating on it. I'll say, "Uh-oh, looks like your brain is getting stuck again," and he'll agree. I will try to talk him through it by talking about his special interest. He loves dinosaurs so I'll even help him do some guided imagery...like imagining that he's in a land full of friendly dinosaurs that he can ride on. (This is like his version of nirvana.) But as soon as I stop talking about it it, his brain goes right to the bad place again.

So....since you have 18 years more experience dealing with this than he does...have you found ANYTHING that helps you break the cycle of depressing thoughts? Just curious. I sure wish I could help him out of those tough spots.

I'm 20, and I still get 'brain stuck' with sad meltdowns. The only way I've found of getting out of the cycle is recognising that it's something I need to deal with now (which you've done), and stopping piling any more pressure on myself (by avoiding any people around/groups I might be in, bright/noisy places, going somewhere quiet) which it seems like you've done as well.

I have found that focusing on something fairly simple that I can engage in has helped. Like a special interest or unpressured task that helps me 'switch off' my brain. My specific ones tend to be origami, drawing, stimming, picking at my skin (bad habit), and painting figurines. I can also switch off occasionally by staring at something like a pattern or a candle, but I find that's only temporarily helpful, and generally only happens when I'm spacing out.

I find that food has a large effect on my mood. If I've not eaten in a few hours, I've got a far higher tendancy of crashing into a meltdown, or spacing out. I suspect that's a metabolic thing though, so your mileage may vary.

Meltdown
a.) Panic Attack and at most thirty minutes of complete derealization where I cannot even read street signs. I am confused, in tears, and babbling. Going outside is the worst thing for me to do (i have almost been hit by cars in this state.)

b.) Completely unresponsive/in a catatonic state. Everything shuts down and my mind goes.... elsewhere.

Response to Meltdown
a.) Left alone in a safe environment. People tend to fuel the panic attack.


I have not had a meltdown/panic attack in months. YES! I find I have to get it out via creativity... or taking things apart. Or both. I get it out fast before it builds up and explodes.

I would have liked to be either ignored, or calmly held down and immobilized, without any emotion involved.