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theman
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11 Mar 2006, 7:06 pm

I flap whenever I get excited or think of something interesting, but if I'm in public I usually walk really fast or swing my arms to and fro.
It relieves stress too, so to stop would not be the brightest idea.



Who_Am_I
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11 Mar 2006, 8:28 pm

Yupa wrote:
KingdomOfRats wrote:
Sounds like the outdated attitudes ignorant untrained school teachers had.

Nothing of the sort, it's an attitude of one who doesn't want to see the balance of the universe shattered by the fact that people around him are behaving inaproppiately and think they can make up lame excuses for it.

Inappropriate? How so? If people flap their hands, so what? Tell me, who is it hurting?


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Yupa
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11 Mar 2006, 9:31 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
Yupa wrote:
KingdomOfRats wrote:
Sounds like the outdated attitudes ignorant untrained school teachers had.

Nothing of the sort, it's an attitude of one who doesn't want to see the balance of the universe shattered by the fact that people around him are behaving inaproppiately and think they can make up lame excuses for it.

Inappropriate? How so? If people flap their hands, so what? Tell me, who is it hurting?

If someone flaps their hands in public, they are hurting others by creating a visual disturbance that distracts from and counteracts the purpose of a work, learning, or community environment.
They are also, obviously, harming themself. It may seem harmless, but eventually there's a breaking point where it ceases to be simply a nervous habit and becomes a serious, valid addiction that will harm the person's mental health and make them believe that they are relieving stress and anger when they are in fact increasing their levels of it and becoming an angrier, less balanced individual.



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12 Mar 2006, 4:15 am

Yupa wrote:
But let me tell you something- I went through a brief period in my earlier years when I flapped my hands, until eventually, I realized that it was wrong, and that no intelligent human being would be caught doing that without a legitimite reason. You know why? Because no intelligent person I knew did. But I did know some really apalling, stupid people who did the same thing.
So I quit. And you can too.


I appreciate the civil response...I just kind of vented there and thought you'd respond much worse... :)

But I have to ask you this: If hand-flapping is a sign of being "a ret*d" then does this mean that you were once ret*d but you have now developed normal intelligence through sheer will-power? I hate to tell you but that's not possible. You've stopped doing it because you're concerned with how it looks...and all power to you for that. However I'm not appalling, stupid or a ret*d, in fact I'm known to have above average intelligence, and I have no reason to believe that the same doesn't go for anyone else here - yourself included. I just have never given a flying rat's proverbial what anyone thinks of how I look or act...and quite frankly I can think of a few things that are much more visually distractive, and subsequently, errr...destroying the balance of the universe (was that it?) than someone unconsciously flapping their hands for a few seconds.

Bottom line is that I don't begrudge anyone their opinion or their right to express it but just show some caution and respect in your choice of words. I'm not trying to be a mod here but I did start this, my first thread, in order for people to discuss the matter openly and honestly. Inferring that hand-flappers are "ret*ds" does not help the matter, nor does saying that you want to "slap the bastards." If you are genuinely concerned that it's so anti-social or self-destructive then try to be just a bit more constructive and tactful about it. No offense but right now you're just coming across as being sanctimonious simply because you broke the habit and that doesn't reach anybody. It only gets their backs up.


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Who_Am_I
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12 Mar 2006, 5:12 am

Yupa wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Yupa wrote:
KingdomOfRats wrote:
Sounds like the outdated attitudes ignorant untrained school teachers had.

Nothing of the sort, it's an attitude of one who doesn't want to see the balance of the universe shattered by the fact that people around him are behaving inaproppiately and think they can make up lame excuses for it.

Inappropriate? How so? If people flap their hands, so what? Tell me, who is it hurting?

If someone flaps their hands in public, they are hurting others by creating a visual disturbance that distracts from and counteracts the purpose of a work, learning, or community environment.
They are also, obviously, harming themself. It may seem harmless, but eventually there's a breaking point where it ceases to be simply a nervous habit and becomes a serious, valid addiction that will harm the person's mental health and make them believe that they are relieving stress and anger when they are in fact increasing their levels of it and becoming an angrier, less balanced individual.

You make some good points. However, hand flapping etc can decrease feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed, which could avert a possible meltdown. I'm sure that you'd agree that that would be far more distracting than hand flapping.
That's what I like about this place, people actually argue properly instead of just flaming.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


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12 Mar 2006, 8:09 pm

Yupa: Congratulations on not flapping.

Just remember that the AS/Autism diagnostic criteria is fairly broad, and not all people will be equally affected in all areas.

You were evidently not severely afflicted by the "stereotypical repetetive movements" part of the syndrome. That alone doesn't make you any more or less ret*d than the rest of us. You just have strengths and deficits in different areas than some other people on here. There are a lot of people on here who have learned to make eye contact or can eat food that touches or who enjoy physical contact with others, but we don't see them making posts calling everyone else ret*d.


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12 Mar 2006, 10:57 pm

neptunevsmars wrote:
I was just wondering if anyone else here has bad arm or hand flaps when they get worked up or excited? Have you ever had to explain it to anybody? Have you had problems with your wrists as a result?

I got nicknamed "Frizzler' in one band I was in because any time I got excited they thought I looked like I was in the electric chair. :lol: I can see the humour in that, but it has freaked out housemates and girlfriends no end. When I'm Djing and a particular song is going off with the crowd I get excited and it starts happening but I'm known for jumping around and dancing so everyone just thinks it's an original new move :wink:

I have only known that I have AS for the last year, and while I have had many of the symptoms since childhood, the arm-flapping only developed in my 20's. What's anyone else's experience?


I didn't used to. But over the past year I have just developed that. No explaination. Just started to happen.


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12 Mar 2006, 11:32 pm

I don't flap at all but my partner does. We are both diagnosed with Asperger's. He stims in many different ways, including this swirly motion that he does with his hand in front of his face and it sometimes looks like he is picking his nose but with his hand upside down.

He's a great person. We both feel very fortunate to have each other. I guess what I am trying to express here is that I would rather be with him with his hand flaps than any other guy I've met so far. These hand flaps are nothing that would ever bother me to the extent I could not love the person. Especially not considering some of the revolting behavior I have seen from some NT men who have no integrity or decent values.



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13 Mar 2006, 7:34 am

Me too , when i am daydreaming I flao myhand somehow ....like i my right hand or my both hand like i am writing on keyboard .....when i think about it I find it freaky.
But i don't do that in public but only when i am all alone.



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13 Mar 2006, 7:56 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Inappropriate? How so? If people flap their hands, so what? Tell me, who is it hurting?


everytime you flap, a fairy dies.



anandamide
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13 Mar 2006, 7:58 am

My partner never does it in public either. In fact, he only began doing it in front of me after we had been a couple for about eight months. The hand flapping seems to be something that is difficult for him to control. Like, sooner or later he just has to let it out.

I have found that those who pass for straight, white, able, NT or otherwise Normal with great ease tend to be a little lacking in their humanity toward others. It really makes me angry that anyone would judge another human being based on something as insignificant as hand flapping.



parts
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13 Mar 2006, 8:02 am

I flap my hands around my ears and eyes when very overloaded or anxious get shakey too. Normally I just flex fingers and ball them up into a fist when I'm not so worked up usally in my coat pockets out of sight as it seams to distress some people so my wife says anyway.



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13 Mar 2006, 8:02 am

Yupa wrote:
...They are also, obviously, harming themself. It may seem harmless, but eventually there's a breaking point where it ceases to be simply a nervous habit and becomes a serious, valid addiction that will harm the person's mental health and make them believe that they are relieving stress and anger when they are in fact increasing their levels of it and becoming an angrier, less balanced individual.


That reminds me of a Seinfeld episode; George's dad is using this stress-management treatment where you say 'serenity now' everytime you feel the anger coming on. At first it seems to be working, but really its just bottling up all the frustration until it eventually explodes.



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13 Mar 2006, 8:36 am

I always shake my leg when I am sat down on a chair eating my dinner.
I'd like to discuss more over this subject but today is just not my day for talking. :( :cry: :x :evil: :twisted:



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13 Mar 2006, 1:33 pm

When my children were young we didn't know about Aspergers. http://threeforcompany.blogspot.com/
Only recently have we learned about it, so I have been able to re-evaluate their behaviour of when they were children. Ben used to flap his hands whenever we went out, he would get really stressed when shopping and would flap to relieve the stress. I honestly thought he looked like a ret*d child and tried to encourage him to stop. But he never did stop. Now at the age of 20 years old he sometimes does it with one hand when we are out. now I know about the Aspergers I let him get on with it, I point out his doing it and he sometimes stops. But as he has got older he doesn't do it as often, now he just bites the back of hand, lol.

We all have different ways of reliving stress or show excitment Aspies and NT, I have no problem letting them get on with it as long as it doesn't physically hurt someone else. :D


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13 Mar 2006, 3:01 pm

I've never had the trait of flapping my hands or arms. I'm wondering, is there any relation between hand/arm flapping, and hyperactivity?