Do you do this when people put you down?

Post Reply New Topic

If people refer to me as this, this to me means that they have already formed their own incorrect judgement of me and not given me the chance as a person. So I simply point out the error of their ways and then stop wasting my time trying to socialise or get to know such a person as they are obviously not worth my time or effort.

if i was "put down" then i would be either buried or cremated.
i knew a person who had their dog "put down" and the carcass was cremated.

in the US, people get "put to sleep" for crimes like murder and stuff.

it is funny to think of a judge who is sentencing someone to death to use the words "you are condemned to be put to sleep for the crime that you are sentenced with....so help you god"

i am not thinking well tonight.

It sounds like you are spiteful, which is good in the way that you don't take people's nonsense! I can be like this too. I've been subjected to quite a bit of teasing from peers, and verbal abuse from my dad growing up (and sometimes even now). Instead of throwing a fit and insisting i'm not that way, which usually results in them saying 'then stop acting like it', I will do exactly the opposite. I will act like they see me, and give them a hard time. For example, if my dad says 'talking to you is like talking to a wall..', I will ignore questions thrown my way, not make eye contact, and when he asks what i'm doing, if he's lucky i'll say 'oh...i thought talking to me was like talking to a wall?' Occasionally i'll instead come back with something like "well, then don't bother talking to me. why would you want to talk to a wall anyway?" and that equally irritates the person.

When the word spiteful caught my eyes, I thought you were putting me down but I kept on reading and saw it was a compliment. I have been bullied enough in life and put down I started to throw it back at them.

No, no! I wasn't trying to put you down in any manner. I think it's an admirable trait, so I'm sorry if I initially came off that way! It is a great feeling when you're able to 'fight back' to bullies, without actually having to throw insults their way/adding fuel to the fire.

My new buddy and I actually threw insults back and forth. I thought we be good friends and get along but it didn't turn out so well. But then I eventually threw it back at her.

I've had friends where insults are the 'cool thing' and I don't know, I guess it just doesn't usually last for me. At some point, I either wind up saying something they take as too harsh, or they say something that hurts me. Good for you throwing it back at them!

If someone insults me online, I have an easier time coming up with something. If it's an actual verbal insult, I don't always come up with something to say back but it hits me later.

I had a female friend put me down, going on about how she thought I was stronger than her, after she beat me in an arm wrestle, twice. I've lifted up a chair at the Tim Horton's that we were at, and than she mocked me, again. I've lifted the chair over my head, with one hand, balancing it on my fingers, and than I told her that I can lift the small square table beside me, which I did. She wasn't putting me down, anymore.

Some years ago in my workplace I was working among people who did the "friendly insult" thing quite well. There was one popular guy in particular who did it a lot....he played the role of being the one they all "hated," and there was this play-fight going on, very gently in terms of tone of voice, but the words were quite damning, and would have been extremely offensive if they hadn't been so ludicrous. I think that was the key to it.....never to say anything pejorative if there was any chance the other person could take it seriously. At one point, one of the younger women made a comment I didn't hear.....the guy took her to a nearby sink and pretended to be about to wash her mouth out with soap and water.... ....he somehow managed to keep her at arm's length throughout the procedure...it was quite refreshing to see horseplay like that without even a hint of sexuality behind it. The guy always took a long time to get to know people, and he wouldn't insult you till he'd had the time to weigh you up. I was never quite included in their pastime, though I felt generally accepted by the group.

But I also know of a couple who had a blazing row that started as play-fighting.....somehow it got a little too serious. I guess one of them must have touched a nerve. So overall I think people need to be very careful with that kind of thing, though I don't doubt the bonding that it offers to people who can master the trick. I've ribbed people from time to time, sometimes they seem to have enjoyed it, other times they decidedly haven't. And when they don't make it clear which it is, I tend to feel guilty afterwards.

if someone puts me down I retreat completely into my shell.

This also applies when I be myself and get critisised for it.

Also depends who is doing it.

I used to be this way too, while on medications (for depression, ocd and panic attacks). I could come back with things online, but not off. Not cool at all, especially since I'd typically take it out on myself instead. These days i'm sometimes too quick...to the point that I don't realize what i'm saying until after it's said. I think coming up with something to say back later on is pretty typical, though! I've heard other people say they do that as well.

A lot of people engage in the kind of horseplay you described, and like you said, if it's generally good natured then there's no problem with it! I don't usually take things to heart, unless they are rather harsh, or I pick up cues that their playful words are meant in a sneaky, harsh fashion. That's something I don't deal well with. I'll usually just say something back, and act like I'm taking it fine, but then later on it bothers me. With people like that, I have a hard time understanding why people would want to be cruel to one another, while faking otherwise. I guess i'm pretty straightforward that way. If I dislike someone, I make it known, or if I'm forced to be civil with the person (like in a working environment) then I remain neutral, as to not get caught up in mind games, or confusion of any sort.

Yay for Tim Hortons! I enjoyed this when I visited Canada, and I was very excited to see that NY now has one in the city, as of recently! But back to the subject. It was more than likely meant in a teasing way I'm sure, and she probably was not intending to hurt your feelings or mock, but rather be playful. It sounds like a friendly game of gender competition!