Are You A "Caring" Person?

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Yes I care about people a lot, but there seems to be a limit to the number of people I can care about......news of a disaster or some horrific crime in a faraway place doesn't usually affect me much unless I've been through something similar myself, but if it happens closer to home then it can haunt me for years. Anything threatening my circle of friends threatens me too, very intensely in the case of my son and my partners.

Showing it is a different matter. I still have a tendency to be embarrassed about caring sometimes, and I keep a lot of what I feel to myself, which is of course wrong. Caring without any actions to back it up is just "virtual" caring. I'd like to be more demonstrative but it doesn't happen easily......sometimes I really get into the idea and perform very well for a little while, but I don't know whether I could keep that up indefinitely. If I spread myself too thinly, the quality of the service tends to go down.

I hate appearing weak/overly emotional to give others with malicious intent something to attack. However, I am extremely generous with gifts and cards and I'll sit with people quietly to show I care. At my last job, I barely talked. When I quit just before moving to a better town, I randomly showed up with roses and a card thanking my manager for employing me. I really bewildered her, especially since I seemed to know what her favorite flower was. In reality, I overheard her say what it was in conversation with another employee a year previous to giving them to her.

But I really hate crying. My relatively new boyfriend remembered Valentine's Day and took me out by surprise. This is the first time I've gone out for valentines day and I started crying my eyes out in joy after we went out to my favorite restaurant. He thought I was sad, so he showed me that he'd bought me a present. I explained to him I wasn't sad, he said "Then why would you cry?" I hate that I cried even now, even if it was the happiest I've been in like... a year.

Echoing the sentiments already expressed in this thread, I would say that I am a very caring person to those immediately around me in my life. People on the periphery I have a tendency to think about less often (mother, father, sibling, etc.) I love my mother very much, for instance, but if I don't call once every couple of weeks, she thinks I don't care.

I agree about the large scale catastrophies. Take Haiti for instance. I know that many, many people are suffering down there, but I feel almost nothing when I think about it. I'm sure if I saw it for myself, it would be very different. I think it's such a large scale disaster that I simply can't poissibly wrap my head around it, so it just falls down into the cracks.

I only care about people in as far as their actions influence me. If, for example, my mother is having a bad day then it's in my best interest to make her feel better so she'll return to her daily duties. If I don't do this then I'd have to take over her duties and disrupt my routine.

I have been told I am a caring and kind hearted person, though sometimes I feel like I'm too soft for my own good. But I get the impression that some people are intimidated by me because I don't say much in a group and I don't like to show my emotions, and that's because I don't want people to pity me if I feel a bit down. If somebody is upset, I sit quietly with them and listen to them, though I'm really not one for physical affection. I don't like to think of people feeling alone and upset because I know how that feels.

My piano teacher's dog is sick. The odds are against her, and after I left her home I cried, because I remembered how upset I was when I lost my dog two years ago. As I said, I hate to see anybody feeling down.

I've been called selfish since I was a child and I really didn't care because I knew I was. I don't care about other people, i only care about what directly affects me. I simply CAN'T care for total strangers. Septemper 11th was just another day to me. It dosen't bother me to hear about the plights of children in third world contries. The only thing that does bother me is when animals are being hurt or are in danger. I don't even have to personaly know the animals and I still feel bad for them. I sometimes have to fake sympathy for family members so they don't think I am as such as bad person as they think I am. When total strangers and people on the internet b***h about their plights, if I say anything sympathic, it's 100% fake. It's very difficult and usually impossible for it to come from the heart for another person.

I've been called selfish since I was a child and I really didn't care because I knew I was. I don't care about other people, i only care about what directly affects me. I simply CAN'T care for total strangers. Septemper 11th was just another day to me. It dosen't bother me to hear about the plights of children in third world contries. The only thing that does bother me is when animals are being hurt or are in danger. I don't even have to personaly know the animals and I still feel bad for them. I sometimes have to fake sympathy for family members so they don't think I am as such as bad person as they think I am. When total strangers and people on the internet b***h about their plights, if I say anything sympathic, it's 100% fake. It's very difficult and usually impossible for it to come from the heart for another person. No. I'm not a caring person at all. I simply lack the phycological conpent to to do and sometimes I simply just don't care. So some celeberity kicked the bucket, some acient congressman finnaly keeled over. What's the big deal?

Caring? Very-much so. But I do have trouble expressing it sometimes. Knowing exactly 'what' to do with an emotion isn't always straightforward.

I'd say I am. I never like to hurt people and I'm often trying to be nice to others. Sometimes it can be hard to express it though.

I'll admit it. I'm not a caring person. Part of this is just my personality; it's not that I don't care at all, it's more that I have better things to do (including solving problems that other people just spend time "caring" about). A large part of this, though, is because when I try to be caring, even in grad school, it backfires. I'm told that rather than caring, I come off as overbearing, pushy, and nosy. It's really, really difficult to find the boundary between caring and overbearing, so I err on the side of not caring enough (not mean or anything, just quiet and a little aloof). That way, if someone asks me for help, I don't have to be the one imposing. Putting myself out there is often more of a hassle than it's worth.

You don't need empathy to care about the wellbeing of your fellow creatures (people and animals alike), I've always been told I'm very honestly a "sweetheart", it's easy for me to love I guess.

I honestly don't know if I'm caring or if people think I'm caring or not.

If somebody falls over and breaks their leg, or I see somebody is visibly upset either through a physical, or emotional incedent (like a break-up) then i don't instinctiveely "feel" upset for the person.

Instead, I have consciously created "moral standards" (thats probably a very bad way in what to call it it) which I have decided every human should have the opportunity to live in when it comes to "pain", including people should not be allowed to become upset through things like physical pain, grief after death of a loved one, being a victim of "unjust" (my own definition which includes torture, rape etc) acts, breaking up with a friend/partner.
As a result I try and help the person through it, so it shows I care, and I do, but not necessarily on an emotional level.

However saying that there have been some ocassions when I have felt emotion (mainly in the form of major guilt) of somebody having to suffer in some way. Nevertheless, this usually occurs, when it does, over a short time period.

So do i truly care, or am i truly a caring person, i'm not sure?

I try to be a very caring person, in some situations I usually overdo it. But on the other hand, it is very hard for me to face if an event such as a death or sickness in the family happens. I have to distance myself from it because I do not want to feel the emotional response.

I am told that I overdo it when it comes to responding to friends and acquaintances tragedies. I become almost obsessed with their pain and wanting to relieve it with friendship, money, support, things, etc. I don't quite understand this, but a few people have told me that my intense response to their situation has in a few ways, prevented them from moving on. Sadly in these situations, I have lost or damaged friendships. I sadly am the one who has trouble moving on.

On the other hand, I have been very caring and generous to my community after a flood hit it in 2008. I want to get out and help people get back in their homes and businesses come back. I have given thousands of dollars, given many, many hours to volunteering, have attended public meetings and events, and have brought awareness to the community about those people, business and organizations in need. I am a little obsessed with this, but at times I still have difficulty in applying myself appropriately and where to channel my generosity.

I'm very caring but I think it starts as an intellectual exercise for me. I try to be compassionate and not to hurt others.