Do you plan out conversations in your head?

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jawbrodt
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26 Feb 2010, 2:35 am

No, I just ramble.LOL The only time anything is planned, is if i have a specific question to ask someone.


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SamwiseGamgee
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26 Feb 2010, 5:27 am

Most of you said you did this but I didn't see anyone say that it bothers them.

I do this and it drives me insane! Whenever I do it I just want to yell at myself to stop thinking so much about something that is unlikely to ever happen (I tend to plan out conversations that will never even come close to happening). And even worse is replaying conversations from the past, I just yell inwardly at myself to move on and let it go, but I can't stop doing it. During the day is less of a problem but especially at night when I'm trying to sleep and my mind won't shut up about stupid conversations that already happened or will never happen... why bother thinking about them then?

Stupid brain.


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26 Feb 2010, 6:50 am

yes, i over analyze everything anyway so it seems normal to me



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26 Feb 2010, 8:17 am

Prepared speech topic

You took the words right out of my rehearsed conversations! 8) :lol:


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ursaminor
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26 Feb 2010, 8:26 am

You make many threads, zeldapsychology.
They are nice threads.

I do not plan out conversations, unless I want to ask something.
I am a 'tangent monster'.



zeldapsychology
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26 Feb 2010, 8:48 am

ursaminor wrote:
You make many threads, zeldapsychology.
They are nice threads.

I do not plan out conversations, unless I want to ask something.
I am a 'tangent monster'.



Thank You. I hope I don't make too many for you guys. :-) I just think of a life question and wonder if other Aspies do this/that too. So I come here and post said question. :-)



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26 Feb 2010, 9:03 am

The social scripting thing is done by a lot of people with an ASD. I only seem to half do it. That is... I have to figure out what I want to say to acquire needed information or service. I don't plan out their responses, because once I manage to organize and bring what I need to a ready level I should be okay. It doesn't ease the anxiety any, or help me with tone or use of speech and other such stuff.

I had a friend present once while asking a waiter for service. He said I sounded upset and demanding. I honestly tried to make it at least neutral, aiming for polite.


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26 Feb 2010, 11:32 am

Yes I do this alot, but only conversations who failed in my eyes.
I don't have problems to talk with people, or how to react.
I can't even say I got any problems with it.

I remember day dreaming (d.d) about me the most popular, or d.d about me the best.
And when I failed a conversation (when its not 'perfect) it can ruin my whole day.
I can still react and talk with people, but I feel myself inside inperfect and weak at the moment.

Conversations are not perfect for me when:

A friend or somebody else jokes about me. (even if its really for joking together)
A friend ask another friend of me "Do you want to stay with me sometimes if you're done with you're lesson" then I think "f**k I'm still there, and he asks him I don't really care to be with that friend, but I just feel my image fade away and inferior".
When I don't say the perfect thing to make myself look better, smarter and or nicer.

To the grammar nazi:
When I got spelling mistakes: 1: English is not my home language I only learn it at school for 2-3 hours a week. French and Dutch are my home languages/school.



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26 Feb 2010, 1:04 pm

I plan. It helps me to speak more fluently, because it converts my Thoughtpictures into words. And I want to be prepared for all, so I make various strategies.
And I look for the words without/with less guttural sounds, because I don't like to show my pronunciation problems.

Sometimes I imagine conversation and I don't realize it. Because for me it's just done, doesn't matter that only in my head :D


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Last edited by Valoyossa on 26 Feb 2010, 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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26 Feb 2010, 1:34 pm

I do this too. I especially end of dwelling on past conversations a lot and thinking about how I could have responded better, things maybe I should have said. I plan out what I'm going to say for when I have something really important to say, because it helps me be less nervous and I also try and plan out how I would react to different responses they might have. If I don't do this I can end up getting flustered or stressed out if they respond not like I would want them to respond or maybe ask me a question about why I'm saying what I'm saying or something. It kind of frustrates me when I dwell on past conversations and think of what I could have said better because I know that it doesn't matter and it's not going to change anything, but it's so hard to stop! If I don't plan what I'm going to say, I can end up having a blank mind and can't think of how to respond to someone. I'm not good with spontaneous conversation... unless the person is really patient and waits for me to calm down and maybe then I can think of something but it still probably won't be the best...



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26 Feb 2010, 1:39 pm

Yes I do.



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26 Feb 2010, 1:53 pm

I have half of the notes needed for a reply.



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26 Feb 2010, 2:57 pm

sometimes.



Autumnsteps
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26 Feb 2010, 3:00 pm

I do it all the time, particularly if it's something important I need to say. I also think about what the other person may say back and then what I say next depending on that... it makes it a lot easier for me to talk especially about personal or difficult things



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26 Feb 2010, 3:56 pm

Tollorin wrote:
I do it too. Of course, real conversations don't go as smoothly as thoses in my head...


very true for me and you at least


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26 Feb 2010, 5:08 pm

i definitely plan out my conversations. i have scripts and styles of communication that i use with certain people, i keep "files" and refer to them when i expect an encounter.

the scripts vary with the person that i speak with. with people that i don't know i have a default script; which is mostly awkward, sometimes twitchy, and a little stuttery...

i tend to weird people out as i flip-flop between maintaining eye contact (*urgh), talking in tangents, distinct expressiveness, blank silence, and staring away :roll:

having met me, syzygyish and mysassyself will agree no doubt! hehehe :P


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