Anyone experience Social Envy?

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Frequently I want to be part of things, and social, but sometimes I just get fed up with social bs and become quite contemptuous.

(By the way, Willard is awesome. I did a case study of him for my abnormal psych course.)

interesting point. i am always more depressed and lonely around people than when i am hermited away in my hermithole. being around people only reminds me of my shortcomings. when i was younger decades ago, i felt this acutely. now that i am dissipated somewhat by age and wear, it is more like a dull ache now and then, manageable for the short durations of my occasional trips to wallyworld for supplies.

I'll assume you're referring to the fictional character.

Have you read Stephen Gilbert's original novel " Ratman's Notebooks"? <LINK

I bought it as a Scholastic Book Club selection at school when the first movie came out. I think that was about 1970.

Yeah! I love The Ratman's Notebooks, it's an amazing work.

I've seen an Aspie get profoundly envious of his friend, because his friend was able to talk more confidently. He stopped being friends with him. It took me ages to figure out the reason why he fell out with his friend. It is very unhealthy to compare yourself and envy another person who you think is doing better socially, we have be happy within ourselves and stop comparing.

I have felt a bit jealous when one day I'd hang out with a group of people and the next day (while I'm exhausted from socialising) a few people from that group would hang out again.
But these days I couldn't care less.

not per se because I am not social and it seems like it would just cause a bunch of work if people wanted to be around you and call you up all the time. I would just like not to screw up and say the wrong thing, I would like to know what the right things are to say and how to act so that people don't think I'm weird. I guess people who are better socially have more energy for social stuff, it just wears me out. Plus I think being odd in whatever way gives you a deeper life experience and people who have it 'easy' in some ways are sometimes clueless about hardships they don't have, at least I can have empathy with 'misfits' since I'll always be one.

Most definitely. I am particularly envious of people at work who make more money than I do and get better raises, yet do 1/3 of the work -- all because they are well-liked and popular.

I don't envy the socially skilled much. They seem so concerned about how they look in front of others.

Me too. However even thinking in that "I wish" way hasn't been harmless to me.

There was a girl who I went to primary school with and last year (or the year before?) I heard that she (& other people) died in some kind of canyoning 'accident'. She was very sociable, had lots of friends, was well respected by students and teachers, academically gifted etc. It's like there was nothing wrong with her. Anyway I found out that she had died by a radio broadcast. It was on the TV, in the newspaper, on the radio, the internet etc for weeks. There were websites created on her behalf with people commenting on how special and wonderful she was and even a documentary made about her. Keeping in mind that there were several other students who died, this whole thing was mainly focused around her death.

My point? To this day I still envy her, a dead person! I can't help it. Sometimes I wish I was her even if I had to die, because she gets more respect now as a dead person than I ever will get as a living person. When I die, no one will even notice because I'm just that much of a social failure.

I definitely understand that. It's weird, I swing between that lonely wanting and utter contempt, but however I feel, the feeling is intense.

Nah. My reaction to normal social skills is "Oh my God, that's amazing, how do they do it?"; but without any sense of envy.

Society tends to value those thought to be more useful to society as a whole more than those disabled or more average.

She was probably prettier than the others.

That's exactly how I feel. Except maybe I'm not quite so old?