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AnnePande
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20 Mar 2010, 11:58 am

Sometimes I begin to say something when I think people have finished their talk, but then it turns out that they weren't finished anyway. It can be hard to guess. But fortunately they often don't notice my interruption. And I stop talking as soon as I find out I interrupted,

But another thing is that NTs often interrupt too, and that confuses me. Then I may say: "just to finish the other thing, so..." and continue. I try to finish shortly.



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20 Mar 2010, 1:23 pm

my psychiatrist keeps telling me that i speak too fast, don't listen and interrupt all the time (he's not being mean, more like gentle reminders) but he said it's fairly common for people with asperger's to find taking turns rather hard to grasp. I have adhd too which makes the whole thing even more difficult.



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20 Mar 2010, 2:38 pm

Oh god, I just remembered: For a long time, in conversations, I would raise my hand as soon as I had something to say.

I stopped doing this about 1-2 years ago. It was like I was in class. I don't know exactly why I did it. I think I was trying to be polite; I mean, I either raised my hand or I simply interrupted. It may have been from force of habit in school. I'm out of high school by now, but I have a feeling I would have continued it if I were still a high school student! :o

Has anybody else developed a similar method?


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20 Mar 2010, 4:13 pm

I don't like this aspect either, and because i got told off about it , I am now hardly talking when it is more people. I had especially a problem when I had to work in a team with a pair of best friends they were talking and talking and seemingly knowing each others thought and i couldnt find a place to latch on the talking, and after they accussed me of not bringing any ideas in...:(



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20 Mar 2010, 4:14 pm

sketches, i do the same thing (now a lot less than when i was younger). perhaps i felt subconsciously that by raising my hand, my interrupting a conversation won't seem as rude! now i tend to ask (half raising my arm) "can i say something...very quickly...sorry...." then off i go!



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20 Mar 2010, 4:36 pm

I've just realised that I don't know when it is time for me to talk (or listen). My whole life I thought I knew. Now I notice that I have to (and do) interrupt people, otherwise I forget that I wanted to say something. It is either getting worse or I started to notice it. It is a strange feeling...


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AlienVisitor
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20 Mar 2010, 7:17 pm

I've got a question. Why do people use their hands when talking? :?

Ex: http://www.ehow.com/video_4401601_impro ... eech_.html



dt18
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20 Mar 2010, 11:15 pm

It emphasizes what someone is saying. If hand gestures are done right in a speech, they can be very powerful. Even if you don't realize you notice the hand gestures.



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21 Mar 2010, 9:03 pm

I have absolutely NO clue when it is appropriate to interrupt and when it is not.


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AnnePande
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26 Mar 2010, 4:52 am

AlienVisitor wrote:
I've got a question. Why do people use their hands when talking? :?

Ex: http://www.ehow.com/video_4401601_impro ... eech_.html


As a kid, I wondered about that too. When my dad talked to me eagerly because he wanted to make me understand something, he would use gestures with his arms / hands, and I asked him why he did it. As I viewed it, it was totally unnecessary, because I could hear what he said and understand it. He would answer that he gesticulated. :lol:

Today I myself may gesticulate. But maybe in a different way from the NT way (a psychologist has told me). But I can't see it myself. And noone scolds me for that reason. So it doesn't matter. :D



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26 Mar 2010, 5:04 am

I do this alot.

I just don't seem to be able to recognise the queue for me to start talking so I either tend to start talking whilst other people are talking or talk long after the conversation has finished.
When I talk over people I am told to ''shut up'', so I do not talk.
When I talk long after the conversation has finished, people laugh.

My therapist did queues, as in when she finished talking she would say a ''go'' word as a queue but I can't afford to see my therapist anymore.



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26 Mar 2010, 6:25 am

Agnieszka wrote:
I've just realised that I don't know when it is time for me to talk (or listen). My whole life I thought I knew. Now I notice that I have to (and do) interrupt people, otherwise I forget that I wanted to say something. It is either getting worse or I started to notice it. It is a strange feeling...


Ditto here.

My husband has also told me that I've started the annoying habit of finishing people's sentences. I think I get so excited because I can "guess" what someone is going to say that I just blurt it out. Anyone else do this?



Agnieszka
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26 Mar 2010, 6:32 am

CraftyAJ wrote:

Ditto here.

My husband has also told me that I've started the annoying habit of finishing people's sentences. I think I get so excited because I can "guess" what someone is going to say that I just blurt it out. Anyone else do this?


Only sometimes, when I see somebody can't find a word for something. But I do say "I knew you were going to say that!" to my husband all the time. I think it's a telephaty :wink:


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JadedMantis
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26 Mar 2010, 7:25 am

Sedaka wrote:
And I KNOW to wait for my turn to talk... I just can't seem to perceive it.


There is that, but I think it is worse than that in that it is not only trying to figure out that it is the right time to talk but that there is also supposed to be some sort of non-verbal communication from our side that lets THEM know we are going to talk. No clue how to do that though.



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26 Mar 2010, 7:27 am

AlienVisitor wrote:
I've got a question. Why do people use their hands when talking? :?

Ex: http://www.ehow.com/video_4401601_impro ... eech_.html


I DO use my hands while talking, but judging by the reactions I get from people it does not seem to be communicative to NTs. I must be speaking a different language. I have been told that my hand movements do not coincide with what I am saying.



Mosaicofminds
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27 Mar 2010, 12:10 am

Alienvisitor, gesturing while talking is probably automatic for most people. That's what makes gestures look natural. :) I mean, it does help emphasize people's points, as everyone's been saying, but I don't think anyone's sitting there consciously planning out what gesture would emphasize their point the best.