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Karshan
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21 Mar 2010, 3:33 am

I've also got a hard time accepting it, but expressing it is hard, just like any emotion, and that results in blackouts from time to time.


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ASgirl
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21 Mar 2010, 3:54 am

it depends on who is criticising me. if it's something constructive from people i can trust or like, then i am fine with it usually if it's explained to me properly. i can also take criticisms from people who i am sure that they know exactly what they are talking about eg my doctor, vet, supervisor at uni etc.
however, if it's just some random judgemental comments from other "unimportant" people or aquaintances, i just ignore them and walk away from them. i won't even bother asking them why they are criticising me and on what grounds.



LittleTigger
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21 Mar 2010, 5:34 am

Its different at times for me, if it is done
mean I react with blowing a razzberry or
saying "who cares?" I'm not "mature" at
all about it, but that is just how I react
to it.

If it is about work, I am in another mode
where I can be more like Mr. Spock, it
isn't his fault it just happens.


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CockneyRebel
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21 Mar 2010, 9:22 am

The reason that I am, the way that I am, is because I was criticized by my peers in elementary school and high school, and not in a nice way. A guy that I had a crush on, in my college programme tried the same trick on me. I've literally raised my voice as loud as I could, and shouted in his ear, that my IQ is average, or above, that I do have a good eye for detail, that I have trouble talking on the phone, and that he was not to insult my intelligence, anymore. He came crawling up to me, the following morning, and apologized to me. He said, "You do act British, sometimes...please don't yell at me, again." when I was talking to another colleague about some kid in the same programme calling people toilets and royalty.


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League_Girl
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21 Mar 2010, 10:24 am

I take it well just as long as they are civil about it. Not do it in a nasty way or in a rude way.



sydeetoes
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21 Mar 2010, 12:02 pm

i know i sure do. even so called constructive criticism makes me feel like a failure as a human being. i'm working on this, but it's definitely something i struggle with.



Unico
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21 Mar 2010, 12:49 pm

I also have a hard time dealing with criticism. I feel intense shame and want to punish myself, even it's a small criticism. I do take criticism seriously, though, and try to improve what they suggest I improve (unless I really think they're wrong).



LittleTigger
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21 Mar 2010, 2:55 pm

I have been told I throw tantrums when
meanly krittazized and throw it back
in their faces.

Other times I am told I go robotic
and make it all meaningless and
make them feel like they waste
their time.


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Chakraheathen
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21 Mar 2010, 5:29 pm

I am an artist, and once attended a university between 2004-05; being both a token Virgo and an Aspie, I know exactly how problematic this can be. Harsh criticism can permeate my core and leave painful, self-destructive feelings which last hours, even days. Examples of this are when I get into menial arguments with my wife, but also at the end of my semester, where we had a final critique of all of our work. They stuck you and your assignments in a room, where 5 snobby professors would degrade and rip you apart for an hour. The experience was terrible, and I left in tears.

While I understand the importance of criticism, I prefer it to be constructive. I offer ways to fix things and I acknowledge the issues. I get really defensive and reactive if insults and names are slung at me. It doesn't take much! Unfortunately, I also catch myself being judgmental of others sometimes, and seeing myself repeat the behaviors of others can upset me, too.

The best thing I could say is that when criticism comes your way, learning to take a breath and dissecting it for its worth before reacting to it. Unfortunately, it happens in the moment and we don't have the time to do it! :(



JetLag
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21 Mar 2010, 6:31 pm

I've always had a difficult time understanding the logic behind criticism. When someone starts lobbing fault-finding grenades in my direction, I usually withdraw into myself and try to figure out what brought on the criticism.


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Joe90
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10 Jan 2011, 12:47 pm

There is nothing I hate more than being criticised. I just hate it when people get onto me that I should be doing this and should be doing that - especially if they aren't no better themselves. I just find it embarrassing and upsetting when there's somebody getting onto me and everyone in the room either join in or listen.


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