selfishness

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^^^^

Ditto myself!

I may have to have that tattooed on my forehead.

I come across as being selfish because I never do the things other people want me to do if it makes me uncomfortable. Just about anything having to do with me being around people makes me uncomfortable & I don't do things because of that & it makes people think I'm selfish.

I think I occasionally come across as selfish to my mother due to competition with my brother, but as I've gotten older I've become really interested in other people and love helping them or listening to them talk about their problems.

Yes, it is often interpreted as selfish, aloof, arrogant, cold.

Personally, I would never call anyone unless I need to give something or I want something. I would not call family or friends for a chat, ever, except my wife makes me - and recently I have been trying to make myself do it. I hate conversation that has no purpose. But equally, I really do not want anyone to call me for a chat, and I really like it if people call me wanting my help or advice.

selfisness is someone demanding you give up your individuality to be like others

I equate selfishness with enlightened or rational self interest.

As R. Hillel once said:

If I am not for myself, then who is for me?
If I am only for myself then what am I?
If not now, then when?

ruveyn

I heard this alot growing up and I wonder if it's because I skipped the manipulation part because it seemed so fake to me. The middle part, the quid pro quo, the you scratch my back, etc, etc, etc. I do not and did not perceive anyone around me as being less (or more) selfish than me. To be completely frank (and maybe brutal) they were just better at wh*ring themselves to get what they wanted. I couldn't really do that part well.

My actions as a kid were interpreted as selfish i think,
when I would refuse to go out for some social thing, because I didn't see the relevance of it.

I have been called selfish by people trying to get me to do stuff I am not comfortable with.

I agree with ruveyn (STOP THE PRESSES!)...

...to an extent. (Never Mind!)

We are all, inherently, selfish creatures. Our bodies present particular needs and we spend our lives attending to these needs. That selfishness, can, of course, be channeled constructively, particularly where we develop the cause-->effect-->benefit reasoning that allows us to contemplate a larger, longer-term benefit that arises from an activity that does not present a short term gain. Reduced to purely financial terms: I could spend this $100 on a fancy dinner; or I could use this $100 to buy groceries and eat for a few weeks.

In the more complex world of social relationships, our participation can still be viewed in economic terms. I "invest" time in my friends: pursuing mutual interests, offering my expertise to help them when needed, doing small acts that cause them to feel gratitude. In return, then are willing to spend time with me, and help me when I need it.

Even altruism, a intent to do "good" with no expectation of return, may well be fuelled by what Aristotle referred to as, "the greed for virtue." (Though, in truth, Aristotles conception had more to do with "eudaimon" than with virture as we conceive of it in the concept of altruism.)

i am a very selfish person. i always do what i feel comfortable with before considering others. i actaully used to have a problem with sharing my things and food with other people when i was younger. i've changed a bit now........only a bit.......