Why is it so wrong for one to admit one has AS?

Post Reply New Topic

Lot of people don't know the difference between excuse and explanation. I don't tell people I have it because of this but yet I have said at a couple forums I have it and I never got crap for it yet.

I also go to that catfight forum occasionally when bored because I like gossip. I mostly lurk than post. I was surprised I didn't get attacked when I registered just to post in that thread talking about IEP and the IDEA law and accommodations and telling about my learning difficulties. Yes I'm bad. There, you know another shocking fact about me. I go to those type of forums but I mostly go to I2 now.

People who post there could be nice people and they just go there to rant about members from other ponyland forums and to speak freely. Same reason why I go to Zomg and I2 and I am nice. Zomg got boring so I pop in there few times a week to see what's been posted. I notice people who go to these type of forums are all of a sudden different people. It's like there is a curse.

I only admit to not having AS when I feel it wouldnt make a difference.

Now there have been several oppurtunities when I regret this, like when I did the College Program at Disney World. My managers were constantly getting on me for my poor social interaction and the other employess would constantly mock my quietness in my presence. Just some of the many crap treatment that I got in the supposed "happiest place on earth".

I'm with the majority here on this one - to hell with those lowlifers

Seems to me that you'll do a lot better with nice people.......nasty people are - er - nasty.

As for your question, I'm sure it's not morally wrong to admit to having AS. Though it could be tactically wrong if you reveal your condition to the wrong people, as you've no doubt realised. Sorry you had to learn that lesson the hard way. I've been lucky so far, the only people I've told have merely ignored the information or made feeble, half-hearted attempts to accommodate it. If any of them didn't believe me, they haven't had the bottle to tell me to my face. Oh, then there was my wife, who moved out and has relegated me to one weekend visit per month. But even she was at least civil about it.

So I don't usually divulge my diagnosis except on a need-to-know basis. I really think that the trick is to find decent people - they'll accept you whether you tell them or not.

I suppose one of the problems with AS is that, being an invisible impairment, there's no way you can prove it to anybody, unlike (e.g.) a broken leg, so in a way people have a right to be skeptical, but equally there's no way they can prove you're malingering, and they have no right to assume that you are.

I can't get those lowlifers out of my head - whatever made you think they were worth the effort?

Maybe the problem is that AS isn't something you can see physically, and it may be hard for some NTs to imagine that someone who is looking just as "normal" as themselves can have real issues that are not like those they know from their own lives.

Also, if the issue you mention is something they know from their own lives, but to a much lesser extent, the thought "we all have this problem" comes to their minds I guess. As in: if you say you don't like mess, they may think: but who does like it anyway? We're all like that, and just because you maybe dislike it more than others, that doesn't give you a disability / difference, and thus you are using it as an excuse...

I myself sometimes have a hard time explaining to others the difference of normal laziness and executive dysfunction. However, it's not that they say I use it as an excuse, rather the opposite: they tell me that everyone is like that, and I shouldn't accuse myself, or think that it's different from themselves.

Stupid catfight forum btw. Why do they want to use time for a bullying thread of 25 pages? Aren't there any moderators?

Yes there are mods there and they basically clean up spam and ban minors or ban anyone who violates the TOS or posting the link to the other Pony boards. They also reveal you if you don't post an intro within 30 days after joining so I had to post an intro.

People make fun of other people because of their own insecurities. (If I equate everyone else to sh1t, then I can feel better about myself.)

Obviously those people on that website are very insecure with themselves, that's why they have to lash out at others.

what would you do if you found out that a certain group of people in your real life were about to take a pill that would make them want to express every single thought in their head, no matter how ignorant or cruel? the effects of the pill would only be working for a few hours and then they would go back to their normal selves. you might conclude that you don't care, or want to know, about the inner workings of their minds. You might conclude that you prefer them when the filter that screens their thoughts from what they actually speak, is working, so that you would avoid them when they are on the pill that disables their filter. That pill is called the internet, to some extent, on some sites more than others, and with some people more often than not. And for the more often than not people misery loves company. The internet can really drive you nuts if you take it too seriously. You aren't obligated to deal with anyone's uncensored thoughts, you can walk away at any time.

For me, the biggest deterant I have for telling someone I have it is because it's called Asperger's Syndrome.

What a trashy forum that one is. Insecurity, immaturity and ignorance at its finest! Don't give that crap another thought.


Taupey

Please don't bring your drama to Wrongplanet because chances are that most of us have no clue what started this conflict within that particular forum, and therefore we cannot be objective about this incident. Not to assume anything- I just don't know what to think about it.

With that being said, I do believe that there is a tendency for people on the internet to accuse others of lying about their diagnosis just because they do not react to the diagnosis in a way that people typically expect them to act, i.e; you don't think of it as a curse that needs to be purged or you think it's pretentious to act like everyday is a "battle" for you (whether or not you currently agree that your life is hard).

I think people need to steer clear from making accusations of others (though even the best of us do things like this).

Not a thing. I regard my AS as a gift rather than a deficiency. I did have some years of discomfort with it, but in the long run it worked out fine (more than fine!) with me. I am not burdened by the illogic that seems to some NTs in knots.

ruveyn

Nothing wrong with admitting , but I really wouldn't recommend to tell other people unless it is very necessary, in theory the only people that need to know it would be your family, people that are very close to you and perhaps your government if you can get benefits, it is not necessary to mention it to anybody else and seriously, it will just call for aggressive behavior such as the one you received. People are idiots, it is a fact of life.

And if you get bashed on a site, just leave it, there is no reason at all you should bother with a community that hates you, your time is not worth it.

Very likely that's true of some of them.....also there's likely to be the old "displacement" effect going on - many frustrated and angry people who can't get a clear shot at the real cause of their angst will target any handy vulnerable person instead.
[SARCASM] I hope their parents are proud of them [/SARCASM]

I agree that people fear what they don't understand or have been poorly educated, ie 'Rain Man', so they deflect that fear by ridiculing the 'weaker' (so they believe) person. I tend to keep my autism under wraps unless it's talking with fellow auties. NT's have always disappeared from my life once learning exactly why I'm slightly odd in their eyes (with the exception of two non-family friends). On the other hand disclosing autie status quickly points out whose worth knowing and who isn't.

Imagine how you'd feel if you got mauled by a bunch of Nazis, and then when you tried to share your plight with friends, all you got was "please don't bring your drama to us."

It's true that we don't know all the details, but in my opinion the OP is innocent until proven guilty, whereas those trolls repeatedly proved their guilt by the horrible things they said, which are plain for all to see. I can't believe that the OP could have brought it on herself.

I'm not sure it's very good to be totally objective and to sit on the fence while your mates are being trampled on. If it weren't for judgemental non-Aspies, our syndrome would not be a disability. So let's stick together, bring our "dramas" to WP, and try to help each other. If we occasionally lavish undue comfort on somebody, so what? The alternative is a lot worse.