Has anyone disowned their parents or family?

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I probably will by the end of the year.

Thing is my mum is about is disown her own son but I'm trying to be the peacekeeper and bring them back together.

But the woman has been driving me mad of late.

I fantasized about being disowned but they just wouldn't do it. I just want to be left alone and they just wouldn't let go. At least we don't live in the same country now so they can't do more than nagging.

I don't think I can actually disown them. I haven't needed anything from them for 15 years, but they need me. I do stand my ground and tell them my limits, and don't expect me to be "normal".

Oh DH's parents are very nice people but they don't understand autism either. They sent us a book on how to dicipline kids (including spanking) written by some religious zealous guy. I was going to shred it but DH donated it. I just hoped my inlaws never actually read it.

Well, I never completely disowned my parents and relatives, but wasn't far off that at one time.

I hated the way my parents would try to lay this notion onto me that I had some kind of duty to associate with family members.....particularly one of my grandmothers who was downright rude to me - I'd grown my hair a bit beyond the "acceptable" short back and sides of the era, and she said that if she'd seen me in the street looking like that, she wouldn't have spoken to me. So I had nothing to do with her after that. I was a teenager at the time and I was rather arrogant anyway, feeling that young people were great and older ones were mostly wrong-minded and boring. Really I just treated them like I'd have treated anybody else, i.e. on their own merits as I saw them at the time. So once I'd left home, I just kept in touch with the few family members who I got on with, plus the occasional duty visit to my parents and sister. I mellowed to some extent as I got older.

There was also a huge problem with my mum who had always been very overbearing and pugnacious with me, and my dad wasn't all that liberal-minded either, so I pretty much had to remove them from my life in order to grow up......if they'd known about half the things I was getting up to, they'd have worried themselves sick and put a lot of pressure on me to toe the line, and I wasn't having any of that. I kept up the visits and became closer to them again once I'd established myself as a person in my own right, but they never knew much at all about my adult life.

To put this into context, I was a teenager in the late 1960s and early 1970s, which was a time of massive youth rebellion and questioning of old-school values. A lot of my generation really thought we were going to sweep all the crap away and replace it with our own Utopia, but ultimately we weren't able to change things very much.

Not yet but have been considering it for a while. It wasn't just that I was the black sheep and scapegoat. It's that my mother took money from me because I wasn't able to fill out forms on my own. A lot of basic things went over my head so I was taken advantage of. Have considered a cease and desist.

I "divorced" my mother for 10 years.......best thing I ever did.

Had I not, one of us would not be standing today........we are good friends now.

Take care and be safe,

Mics

A lot of autistic people deal with this, it's unfortunate. Probably caused by a lack of oxytocin.
That should change soon .

This thread makes me grateful for having a happy, supportive, loving family. I might not be in contact with all the family members but that's because several of them live busy lives, not because we dislike each other.

I don't feel like I've disowned my family. I feel like they've disowned me.

Brother and brother-in-law both disowned. The bullying that is so often experienced eventually found expression in the family.

No. I'm fortunate in that mine have helped and supported me beyond the call of duty, so I have no reason to.

I had to completely cut off my parents for two years to give them time to think. My parents are uneducated, rural types and they just could not understand me at all. The time apart gave them time to realize that I was never going to fit into their world. I moved to a large city and did quite well for myself there. If I had stayed in my hometown like they wanted I would have been dead a long time ago either by my own hand or murdered. My parents had no clue and were unwilling to accept that I had been bullied and brutalized on a regular basis in my hometown. It wasn't until my dad overheard a younger coworker of his talking about how much fun they had at my expense in high school did he get a clue. They still don't understand me at all but at least accept it and we can get along now. I have very little contact with my extended family.

My family basically ignores me. Whenever I reach out to them, it's always a surprise if calls are returned, or letters answered. I guess I am the black sheep, even though I don't know why. Now that both my parents are dead, I have siblings who have continued ignoring me.

I don't talk to my dad or his side of the family at all (grandparents, stepmother, and stepsiblings) so that only leaves two living family members.

My father is mentally ill and he and his wife made things very ugly for me growing up. They accused me of lying and stealing and wouldn't let up on it, oh man, just some real bs. I obviously had issues but I was a very honest child until all this started and I responded with a phase of actual lying and stealing...

I am terrified of my parents, so there's good cause for that, but that's different from disowning them, which I have not done.

I stopped seeing two family members who molested me. One is dead now. The other I reconciled with after he went through counseling.

I am thinking of going through adult adoption with a very close (but nonromantic) friend. That is not because I really want to disown my family though. I have very little chance of ever marrying but still want to be able to choose to have closer legal ties to this person than to my biological family. Adult adoption is the only way to do that.

Right now my sister is on the outs with us. She is a resentful snob who wants to blame every problem the family ever had on me. It is nothing but jealousy and resentment, and I wont let my daughter around her. My sister pumps my daughter for information every chance she gets, then says such mean things about me that my daughter feels guilty about it. I wont let my daughter be around such a negative influence. I have no intention of talking to my sister at all until she comes to her senses or gets some counseling or psychological help.