Do you wish you were more "weird"?

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I'd like to be weird in a good way. I am just awkward and not anyone anyone really cares much about.

I can kind of relate to this. I do wish I could be comfortable enough in my own skin to be unabashedly myself. For as long as I can remember, I've been receiving the message that I'm not acceptable as is, and I need to change to be more acceptable to other people. This has been my experience since early childhood, thus I don't feel very in touch with my real self. I just barely know who I am, but I understand enough to know that my real self is quite weird. Thus, if I were to allow myself to be fully myself, I'm sure I would be quite weird, even weirder than I already come off without meaning to.
As it presently stands, I really have no clue how to be my true self, as I don't even entirely understand who this self is. Moreover, a lifetime of bullying, ridicule, and being told time and again that I need to change to be acceptable to other people has left me with a rather powerful conviction that I'm a substandard breed of human, and I'm just not as important as other people. I have not yet figured out how to get past this conviction. Thus, I can't help but feel that I can only be acceptable as far as I can please other people. Since I'm quite convinced that no one really wants to be bothered with me, a big part of this entails making myself as unobtrusive as possible.
I do try to do my best impression of an NT when I'm in a public setting such as my job. Based on other people's reactions to me, my attempts at playing "normal" are often unsuccessful. Thus, I find myself trapped in a cycle of trying to act normal among other people, and never quite making it. It tends to be a rather uncomfortable way to live. If I can't do a convincing impression of a normal person, I suspect I would be happier if I could be my real self among other people, as weird as that self may be. I'm pretty sure my real self would be regarded as quite creepy by others, but that's beside the point.

Ah yes this, I'm just the one that hardly talks who no one takes notice of. I like the people who are eccentric and artsy, them types, atleast people like them.

I'm perfectly normal, everyone else is weird. ~Says the young man who enjoys walking around with feathered wings strapped to his back, and a bokken at his side.

I would give anything to be normal, to remember names, not anger people and not know why, to be able to walk up to people I don't know and talk to them, and most importantly to have a meaningful relationship. I think those who say they like being weird have long ago given up on wanting to be normal. I strive for normalatity.

I had no idea that there was "more weird". I don't know.

I never thought about it until I read your post, but; yes.

Because I'm gregarious, articulate and socially confident, people don't have the big obvious clues that would frame me in their minds as "odd," but then allow them to relax because they've safely pigeonholed me, and to dismiss anything weird they feel about me as attributable to that oddness. Because I can't read facial expressions well, and am pretty sure that most body language cues go over my head, my responses will inevitably be a little bit off over time, and because my own expressions and body language are abnormal people get weird signals from me pretty much all the time... and nothing makes a neurotypical person more sure that you're someone they don't want to be around than when they get a feeling about you that they can't explain but don't like.