Anyone here had parents who tried to beat you normal?

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Anyone here had parents who tried to beat you normal?
yes

I wasn't beaten physically BY MY FAMILY, but the emotional beating I took from them seemed to make up for it. For 18 years, (and to this day to a lesser extent) these two arrogant know-it-all pigheads (who STILL don't know the difference between Asperger's/NVLD and the heartbreak of psoriasis btw) who call themselves my parents refused to believe there was ANYTHING wrong with me at all. I was "lazy", "unmotivated", "immature", "manipulative", etc.....ad nauseum

I was the ONLY person in the world who knew something with amiss with my brain and it took 23 years and a full neuropsychological evaluation to prove it. Nobody seemed to care much even after that. They didn't even bother to take the time to learn the slightest thing about NVLD and their overall attitude seemed to be something akin to; "Oh well...we stand SOMEWHAT corrected....just deal with it"! !! You know...that and the standard "bootstrap" rhetoric i'm sure many of you are tiresomely familiar with.

Yup.... the memories of my childhood are ones of downy softness and idyllic repose My parents were MIRACLE-WORKERS when it came to building my self-esteem!! ! I mean...who can deny the psychologically-curative powers of calling your 8 y/o son "a little a-hole" in front of all his peers and their parents because he was afraid of the ball in little league???


All I can say is that if there actually was both a just god and free will, many parents in this world would deserve to spend a few centuries with this guy

I just ADORE being forced into social situations. My parents would make excellent employees at the Judge Rothenberg center. They just love putting (for "my own good" of course) me situations which do nothing but amplify my already bone-crushing depression and anxiety.

I'll never understand what these otherwise intelligent idiots don't get about NVLD and Schizotypal Personality Disorder. It's almost like they have their own idiosyncratic learning disability. They wouldn't understand NVLD/AS or Schizotypal PD if god himself hit them on the head with the DSM-IV.

Why is it so damnably difficult for these NT's to understand that I don't WANT to be social? Socializing makes me significantly more miserable and anxious than I already am.

nope..i recall that my parents were very protective and lenient with me...the school problems i had were problems with the system...but they were/are liberal eccentric types as far as parents go...I am lucky..

Jesus, I'm glad my parents weren't like that. My father, before my mom and dad separated, had a really short fuse and would yell at us (us being me and my brothers). There were a few times he yelled at me too for something I was doing "wrong", but other than that, my parents did not abuse me in ANY way. I'm really sorry some of you guys had to go through that.

My mom spanked my brother all the time, not me, though. She said my doctor told her I was very delicate and be nice to me. Though I was "normal" back then. My grades in school were very good, so I was a good kid with no flaws. She didn't pay a lot of attention to me to notice anything wrong. Like I started lying to her since I was 6.

I wasn't physically beaten into being normal, but I was verbally and emotionally beaten into being normal. I got yelled at, for talking about my special interests. I got yelled at, and pushed onto the toilet, for the accidents that I had, until that one night, at the age of 8, when I've unknowingly soiled myself in my sleep, and my mum shoving me on the toilet, and yelling at me, lecturing me, making me hate myself, two years after then incident, the night after I've turned 6, hence the underwear that has poo shaped like a candle on it, that I post, for shock value, from time to time. My stupid parents also tried to emotionally beat me into losing my accent, the summer that I was 12, as well.

After years of suppressing my special interests, straining to poop before going places, to the point of irreversible damage, and being self-conscious of my accent, I grew up to be that "Well-known Kinks Fan from London, who needs Depends."

My grandmother was rather passive aggressive towards me and humiliated me about my weight..and the ways in which I was so unlike my sister and cousins...My grandfather on my dads side was rather disapproving of my overall development...but my parents tried to shield me from that...

My dad was an untreated schizophrenic. He was HUGE on acting "right" and would scream at me and beat me when I couldn't get it. He also saw me as a love rival for my mom's affection ( a little Oedipus Syndrome thing there) and would yell at and beat me CONSTANTLY! He kept saying I deserved to die, I still have dreams in which he kills me and I go to hell, because he kept threatening me with exactly that. He simply could NOT understand why I just didn't shape up and fly right. All the abuse in the world couldn't make it happen, so he abused me more. By HS I was psychotically violent because that's how my dad was all the time, and nearly got kicked out of HS. I DID get kicked out of junior college in San Francisco for being violent, I'd moved there so I could get away from my dad. My dad still yells at me even on his meds. My dad is absolutely obsessed with "correct" manners and actions, he likes to spend time around low-rent European nobles so he can practice his manners. I could NEVER get it, and it frustrated him.

The only time my dads forcing me into social situations worked for me was going to Darrian Lake Amusement park I was addicted to the rides and could care less about being around all those people due wanting to get on the rides as quickly as possible. Its one of the few times I was truely happy.

When I was about 12 there was this 15 year old who made it his mission to make my life a living hell. My father got sick of it so he made me go with him to confront the kids father. The kid's dad screwed up he told my dad "To keep his ret*d on a leash if he couldn't defend himself!" so my dad beat him senseless. It was great, he beat him infront of his door, then down his stairs, and across his front lawn in front of everbody. The cops were called and my dad talked his way out of it. My father did not hate me, he just did not want to have people think of me as a freak, ret*d, or as crazy. My father grew up very poor in West Virgina then moved his family to Buffalo, NY I do not think he was sofisticated enough to handle my problems that is why he thought he could change my behavior.

People who beat their children are monsters, and should burn in hell, if there were a hell.

Awesome! I know some of the pacifists will disagree but sometimes, like in cases like that, a good ass whuppin' is what it takes to set things right. Or as right as they can be made for all practical purposes.
At least you knew then that your dad was looking out for you the best way he knew how.

Yes, I have been physically beaten for almost everything I have done and for far too many times. I was beaten one time because I did not butter my step-father's toast on the right side. He came into the kitchen and made me toast almost a whole loaf of bread and if I happened to butter the wrong side of toast he would hit me over and over. I still never learned which side to butter the toast on. So I wasn't allowed to make toast for a very long time. My grandfather and my uncle's never hit me once. They never raised their voice to me. All my grandfather would have to do is tell me he was disappointed in me which he did only one time when I ran away to Quebec, Canada. That reduced me to tears. The step-father was a different story, he was extremely abusive. Right side of toast to butter my ass.

Taupey

I didn't have problems becuase of my Aspergers as such, more about my Tourette syndrome. Although I had suffered from mild tics since I was about 8 years old, they got worse when I was 12. I tried to hide them at first. I remember the first time my father noticed it. We were in the shopping centre and I was suffering from facial grimacing. He said, 'stop doing that'. I didn't know what he was talking about. He turned and said, 'stop pulling that STUPID face'. The problem is, when you tell a person with TS to stop doing a tic, it makes it worse. Needless to say I got a smack when I got home.

It carried on over the years. Dad thought I was misbehaving, whereas it was actually my involuntary movements and sounds making my life a living hell. Whenever I ticced, he would either shout abuse at me or hit me, often over the head. Mum went mad when he hit me on my head but he said, 'my dad did it and it never did me any harm'... really?

When I was 15, I was diagnosed with TS. Dad went around the whole family telling them to ignore my mother who was informing them. Later, aged 17 when I was self-diagnosed AS (and had a rather large group of people backing me up on that), he basically took the p--s out of my mother saying she was just making it all up and I was an attention seeker. They were going through a divorce at the time... maybe that is why. He accepts it now, but still tells me to 'stop doing that' sometimes. Yelling at him usually shuts him up now!

my father refused because only mental patients take pills to act normally. He told them I was just shy, clumsy, and stubborn all he has to do to break me of this stupidity was to beat it out of me.

Your story breaks my heart. I'm so sorry that you were abused by your father. I didn't read the entire thread because I wanted to respond right away in the time that I have. Have you had any counseling or therapy to work through the abuse you suffered?
You mentioned not being comfortable leaving the house. It sounds like you may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Now you have to take care of your father?! Has he ever apologized to you or shown any remorse for his terrible behavior? From what I read, he justifies his behavior by saying it did it for your own good. That is NOT the same as an apology. Even though your father acted out of ignorance and was no doubt beaten when he was a child, it was his responsibility to end the cycle when he became a father himself. NOT YOURS.

Not only was your disorder ignored, which is abusive enough, you were abused for it.

I don't know how you managed to stop being violent yourself, but that is quite a feat.

I hate to see you in a position to have to take care of your father, I think it would be much better for you to be free of this man, even though he is your father. UNLESS he is willing to genuinely apologize and work on loving you now, so that you can both heal from the past.

I hope that you can take the time for the healing that you need, and know that if the relationship is still one where your father denies his terrible behavior, you are not obliged to continue to take care of him. You have a right to a happy, healthy life. I feel very strongly about this. It is so difficult for children who have been abused not to remain loyal to their parents, because children love their parents no matter what, because we depend on them when we are little. But once we become adults it is a different story, even though most people are still so frightened of our parents and worried about holding up social norms, we continue to act like children and continue to put ourselves in the position to keep taking their abuse. As an adult, you are responsible for taking care of yourself. And only yourself.

I hope you can do this.