Fake people NT's think are nice!

Post Reply New Topic

oh, I certainly do!

I'm more than positive your friends notice it; just because they notice it doesn't mean they have the inner strength to deal with him; he may have a certain dominant persona that they feel they need to feed off of, due to a desire to be wanted and needed.

I've said so many times before that I think PSAs are utter crap, and I think in most schools the teachers are actually on the side of the bullies rather than those being bullied.

Just remember: you're the one being bullied, and despite the fact that you're probably more loyal to your friends than he is, and the best damn guy they could possibly know....it doesn't matter; he's the one with the social skills, and the dominant personality, and the one they feel better about themselves because of. You don't have the social status, or the ability to gain it, and your friends feel that vibe; he does, however, and your friends desire that vibe on the inside...they may also not only be very morally weak, but they may not have high self-esteem, either. Another possibility might be that they're trying to deny it, cause they want to believe he's honestly a great guy.

As an example I've always been dying to make to NTs who want to know about the whole social skills thing:

"what's that skinhead tattoo-ed, raging alcoholic with 3rd degree burns all over his body who also happens to beat his girlfriend on a daily basis got that you don't?"

my answer: "social skills"

I can definitely warn you of this though:

regardless of what happens with the kid, don't expect a perfect "fairy tale" ending with your friends like you see on TV; sure as hell never happens for me.

you'll never get the "you were the better friend all along, and I/we are so lucky to have you...and we're sorry we didn't realize it"; never in a million years. They'll never see you as the better friend, and will never likely realize how lucky they are to have you. And even if at any point they do, they'll directly admit to you how weak with poor self esteem they are, and standing up for you will always be difficult.

It's nothing you can hate them for....I have yet to really meet anyone who does it any better. It's weakness to social status.

It's why I've learned not to care what others think of me, as well as to think outside the box.

I simply tell folks "why should I care what others think of me? It's almost never good as it is. And why should I desire to be normal so that I can fit in? I've seen the social world/order of "fitting in" and I assure you...it doesn't even look remotely appealing". And half the things that people do socially are so clumped together "inside the box", it's sickeningly pathetic.

My life is better thinking outside the box.

Even my NT friend who's very popular--and has admitted he's jealous of me--agrees with me that he pretty much sees most people as monkeys. Just people doing the same stupid things over and over again since the beginning of time, expecting different results. If it sounds idiotic...it's because it is.

If you confront this sociopath directly in front of the group, he will have the charisma and charm to make you look bad. However, if you can take care of business away from the group, things might work out better. There are plenty of revenge techniques that can be used to make him look like a fool or make him look bad in front of others. Done right, the sociopath will never know that it came from you. I tend to use these tactics as a last resort once all else fails. Like another poster stated, NT's will usually side with the bullies rather than the bullied. If all else, destroy the bully or set the bully up for self destruction.

Indeed.
Setting up a lie trap will be unthinkably difficult but it would be awesome if it worked.
As sociopaths are usually also pathological liars, he most likely has some lies lying around.
Although verbal is not the option I would choose, it does seem as a good one, since it is sort of low profile and socially acceptable.
To some extent.
Also, TheDoctor82 wrote something that reminds me of the GIGO principle.
Garbage in, garbage out.
I modified this in my head so to me it also means that
Same input yields same output, or SIYSO.

it seems to me like he wants to be top dog but at the moment you are. it is sad to think of social hierarchy like this but it rarely works any other way.

i dunno if you have tried to have a honest chat one on one with him. talk about the tension between you and what you each think is the cause. perhaps he just feels like an outsider who cannot get any respect. (i get the impression naturally alpha males will do this when entering a new group.)

despite what i said, you know best and if you are sure that your judgment is accurate then take whatever steps you need to take. i personally would call him out on his manipulative (if they are) tactics. calling him a sociopath could be a step to far unless you know he is.

filming you doing an illegal activity although it could be seen as innocent suggests to me that he is collecting things to threaten you with. having said this don't get paranoid about it!

good luck

I would say there is definitely something wrong with this kid- he was filming to get leverage on you and the others. A picture of a pure psychopath is beginning to emerge here. Real Psychos are charming and manipulative and can make friends easily. People have no idea what is really inside. You know what is there because you are not typical. You pick up on things, and he is threatened by you. He will not want you to reveal his secret, so the filming was to get blackmail material on you. Although, if it was something like TP-ing the neighbors yard , it would be lame. They have to start somewhere though.

thank you all, you have all given me some great ideas, and even in your theories, guessed how my friends are. they are the type that will never say sorry no matter how wrong they are. and luckily this kid is no longer around very frequently, because when he is, he's a prick to me, and i reply to bullying with violence. I wasn't the kid in high school that wouldn't do s**t if you bullied him.

I think he doesn't like to be challenged, and I think whenever he does something cocky I'm probably the first person to challenge it.

probably is a case of two alpha males in the same place at the same time. upon a lot of thinking, I think the resolve is just not being around him. or, just keep doing what I've been doing. not a problem, I've been dealing with this dude since soft more year, and I have been graduated from high school for 1 yr. I'm moving to live with my dad in 2 months. honestly I think I can make it, and not ever have to worry about this dude again.

That is definitely the mature way to handle it. He doesn't pay your bills and you don't sleep with him so he doesn't matter. That is how I try to classify anyone not in my immediate family when it comes to conflict resolution, to be completely honest. It doesn't always work to reduce my agitation but it helps separate the important people and all others.

This sounds to me like he needs to feel like he's the "leader," and thus will target whoever he sees as the competition. Does he do this to everyone equally or is it mostly just you? If the latter, be very afraid; it's almost certain that you have been singled out for a social attack.

His next move, which he may already be doing, will be to try to turn your friends against you. You may think that your friends are 100% on your side, and probably normally they are, but unless they're very unusual people they'll be willing to laugh at what start out as harmless-seeming jokes at your expense, and to agree when this guy starts suggesting that you're a little bit pushy or bossy sometimes; once they've all said that first little negative thing about you, you'd be amazed at how easy it is for a manipulator to gradually increase their negative feelings. He'll also start making major efforts to get closer to them. It escalates from there, and the next thing you know you're getting out of synch with what you thought was YOUR group, while he's suddenly everyone's best buddy.

The only way I know out of that is for you to put in some serious time bonding with each of your friends, and bring up the jerk in conversation; "Doesn't it seem sometimes like Jerk wants to control all our discussions?" He's gonna tell them that YOU'RE controlling them soon enough, so if you can get there first you'll steal his power.

I really, really hope that this guy is just a jerk to everyone and thus not a threat to you; people like this will cause a great deal of trouble no matter what.

this same exact thing has happened to me and I just avoid the person as much as possible until my friend sees that that person is actually really mean, then he'll thank me for it and wish that he'd listen to me in the first place, sometimes he actually does

wow, he actually listens to you? Damn....they won't listen to me, no matter whether they say they will or not; they just say "I want everyone's opinion"; that should end of course with "except yours".

I don't think this is an Aspie/NT thing. I think it's an intelligence/area of giftedness thing. Some people are better judges of character than others. You, apparently, have a gift for it. Is that gift more common among Aspies or NTs? I'd guess NT's but I'm not committed to that choice. Maybe the Aspie has the advantage because they aren't distracted by faked social cues. Hmmm

I'd be tempted to turn it back on him and say, "Yeah, I have that problem every time you open your mouth." Then again, my friends would think that was funny. If anyone did think it was rude or inappropriate, someone else would say, "Oh, that's just Rose!"

This guy is you basic middle school girl -- putting others down to make himself feel good. Your friends may be worried that if they stand up to him, he'll switch to picking on them. Give as good as you get (this means non-physically, as he's not fighting you) and chances are he'll back off...he's probably got very low self-esteem. He thinks you're helpless; show him you are not!

I find this heartening; if sociopaths can do it, I'm sure I can.

I am the same way. I've spent more time in my life actually watching people. Hint droppers like the person you described are trying to get you upset without others noticing until you explode then they turn it around and make you seem bad. It happens all the time.

Eventually after sometimes years of condensending behavior and insults, I may talk back and when I do, I'm being outcasted, told off and treated like I had no right to fight back or even say anything back. If you find yourself in that situation where you are trying to cope but also trying to contain a full on meltdown, keep yourself calm and speak calmly to people and ask them if they too wouldn't get upset if someone was being rude to you for years. I find alot of people to be hypocritcal and prejudice but also giving themselves pats on the back declaring just how unprejudice they are EXCEPT if you are different on the inside, it's okay to be mean to that person.

I'd scope him out, when he's alone and quiz him, on his ignorant behaviour.

I've known people like that but my sneer and the look in my eyes gets them to stop.