Can I be like some sort of unoffical aspie, lol

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Both AQ test and aspie quiz put me just under the dx cutoff.

I reckon half the people here are 'unofficial' aspies so you're more than welcome.

Well, my therapist in the past said in my case, if I did have AS, it would be a waste of money to get DXed if I have it.

Sigh, I just want to know the truth basically. I've always been very different, but why am I different?

As someone who took a Very Long Time to accept my diagnosis, I am here to tell you that just because a professional says you have asperger's doesn't mean your mind will stop chewing on the "yes or no"ness of it all. There are plenty of logic games your brain can play to try to convince you that maybe the professional was wrong.

So an official diagnosis doesn't automatically quiet the mind and make everything definite and true. If official diagnosis isn't available to you and if the only thing official diagnosis would give you is the peace of mind of knowing at last, then just find that peace of mind on your own -- it costs less and it's less invasive.