People on the spectrum disliking phones

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I don't agree, I think much of the anxiety originates from our autistic traits.
Just a few points that at least affect me:
- If you have a monotonous voice it makes you harder to understand for the other party.
- The phone also takes away all non-auditory signs that might help us understand the context of the conversation better.
- When you have auditory processing problems any ambient sounds may easily ruin your concentration on the phone call.
- Being called interrupts your activities, and this may effect your routines.

This and more can easily lead to bad phone experiences which fuel anxiety for talking on the phone.

Personally, I don't like talking for the sake of talking. I do use the telephone to plan things, but I prefer text messaging and email for other communication like work related questions or requests. I can relate to Ambivalence's and Peko's comments.

My dislike of using the phone stems from my dislike of chit chat and small talk. If I have to use the phone, I like to get in, exchange the necessary information, and get out. Some people don't shut up though, and I hated when people would call me just to talk, or ask me how I am and all that garbage.

And about the social anxiety, is there a correlation between it and Aspergers? I mean, do many Aspies develop social anxiety due to prior negative social experiences? That's what has happened to me, but perhaps I'm a special circumstance.

I think I know which thread you are referring to


While I CAN use a telephone, I am really lame when it comes using the phone for social conversations. I can, however, ask for simple information ("What time do I need to be at your house?" or "Did I leave my toaster in your laboratory?"). I'm nervous and abrupt, but heck, it works
There actually is one person I can have fluent conversations with on the phone. Granted, there are silences, but it's all right. One of us will usually think of something really strange to say.
I think my dislike of small talk and uninteresting people probably makes phone calls aversive. I text whenever possible, because it's easier to for me to process written words and I can just stop responding after I get the desired information.

I am a huge phone-a-phobe, to the point that in high school I used to practically have panic attacks while calling friends. At present, it's interfering a bit with some work that I desperately need and want to do. Here's why:

1) Voices are distorted. I am very sensitive to vocal cues. First, they're my main source of social information. I will often notice someone's irritable tone (and think they might be mad at me) before they even realize they're feeling that way. I also notice the physical qualities of sounds, and the phone makes s's harsher and sharper so they hurt my ears. It also really bothers me that people don't sound like themselves, or even human, on the phone. A neuropsych eval found that while my ability to hear speech in background noise is fine, my ability to parse distorted speech is somewhat poor, and that probably contributes to my discomfort.

2) Too many choices. Multiplies the number of plans I have to make before I make the call. What do I do if I reach an answering machine? What do I do if I reach a person, but it's just a receptionist and not the person I actually want to talk to? If they put me on hold and I do something while I wait, will I remember what I have to say when they put me back on, and will I say it smoothly enough? If I try to figure this stuff out in real time, I just sit there going "um...uh...yeah" for several minutes, and probably make a bad impression. Probably an executive function issue.

3) Timing. I often have a lot to say in terms of explaining who I am and why I'm calling. I would find it difficult to process such a long and involved monologue, and I figure no one else wants to hear it either. So then I get hung up on what information to get across at first and what to save for later, as the conversation proceeds. Trying to figure out how to bring everything I want to say into the (unpredictable) context of the conversation, and making sure I say it all before hte other person decides to hang up, is very hard for me. Related to this, I also worry about whether I'm talking too fast or too slowly. Because I sound so different on the phone, I can't tell.

4) Straight-up social anxiety. Usually if I'm on the phone, it's for business, not pleasure. Something's at stake and it's essential that I make a good impression. My anxiety has gradually decreased as I make more calls, though.

5) Missing cues. I'd actually rather speak to someone in person than on the phone. I like to be able to see a person's facial expression and body language. It's another source of information, whether I use it effectively or not.

6) Most of all, not being able to go back and edit. Whenever I write a business email (which I do quite well), I reread and rewrite it, making sure all the right information is there in the right order, presented with the right choice of words. Obviously, I can't tailor my message so precisely on the phone. It also takes me a long time to evaluate how what I say will be perceived, which I'm not able to do on the fly while I'm actually talking to someone. I often don't realize what impression a person had of me in a conversation until after the conversation is over, because that's when my evaluative processing finally catches up.

When I was younger, I very much liked talking on the phone. It was a way to socialize without all the problems of being face to face like expressions and body language. I would talk to people for hours. When I got older though, I lost interest and now I get a little anxiety when talking to someone I don't know well. No anxiety for people I know, just annoyance that I have to sit and talk on the phone with them, instead of doing other things I'd rather be doing. I used to write down topics of conversation before I would call this one boy I liked, just so I wouldn't freeze up.

Thats why I LIKE phones. Although I still talk weird without all the nonverbal stuff.

I'm Dxed AS and I love talking on the phone. I have no problem with it whatsoever. In fact, I wish I could get by with that instead of talking to people in person.

1. It is an ability issue. The telephone forces you to find words very fast, and my thought-to-speech translator doesn't go that fast.

2. Getting people to repeat something once or twice is fine, but with the telephone, people could repeat things dozens of times and I'd still have trouble understanding them. It does bad things to voices.

3. Pain. The plastic of the handset starts to hurt my hand after a while, and people's voices as heard through the earpiece are painful. It feels like my ear is being stabbed, and it makes me feel sick.

4. It's boring. Most people don't have anything to say on the phone that's worth listening to, and I'm tied to the same spot, with one hand being used to hold the phone, wasting time that could be spent on fun activities.

My auditory processing is so poor that it's not even a matter of asking the person to repeat themselves. I simply cannot understand what people are saying on the phone.

I do have disagreements with phones- the handsets generally, are uncomfortable and I don't do well on cell phones because it's hard to hear what the person on the other end is saying. I also find talking into a cell phone awkward. For some reason, I can't tell if the person I'm talking to has heard me or not because it doesn't have the landline sound I am accustomed to.

Texting is fine.

When I'm on a cell phone, it's an endless stream of "huhs" and "whats" from my end.

A cordless phone in my home is cool, and the mild discomfort from the handset is worth not having to deal with someone face to face.

To put it in computer terms, a ringing telephone is an interrupt to me. Unlike a computer, however, I can't easily switch between my interrupted task and the interrupt service routine (answering the phone, handling the call, and going back to what I had been doing). And even if I choose not to service the interrupt (answer the phone), I've still been interrupted and find it difficult to resume. Caller ID makes life easier, but still far from perfect. Sometimes I cringe and curse when the phone rings, even when I know who's calling. ("Aw #$*&, what the hell does he want?!")

Also, if I call someone, I like to get either the person I'm calling (preferred) or a busy signal, although I'm okay with automated systems usually (unless poorly designed). What I abhor, however, is answering machines, as I rarely have a scripted message ready and either stammer my way through one (thinking I must sound like an idiot) or freak and hang up until I can rehearse what I need to say.

Plus, having two family members who worked for "The Phone Company" didn't help--they both hated their jobs and I had to hear about it for years.

I forgot that one. It's another big reason for my dislike.

I don't like them, but not hate. I find them difficult to use and very difficult to hold a conversation on them. It's hard to guess what to say next. So while I can deal with short phone calls or surveying phone calls, I can't really hold onto anything more than one or two minutes.

i dont dislike them, just many people who call me on them

I really hated phones for the majority of my life. I never knew what the person on the other side was going to say next, and how to prepare for and formulate a response. I'm working on it though. I was setting up another account at the bank, and had to talk to someone at corporate headquarters to set up the online access...it wasn't too bad. I guess I don't really have a problem using the phone when it comes to exchanging information, but I can't stand using it as a social medium.

Judging from these posts, it seems that it depends on the experiences you've had with phones. I've been told that I sound rude on the phone by some people. This becomes a signal for me to try to avoid talking to them. I know that I talk very slowly, pick my words very carefully, and sometimes am monotone (although it has gotten better). However, I don't consciously think about the impression that I'm making on the phone. If the person continues talking to me, then they're probably fine with how I talk. I tend to let the other person talk. Besides, I don't talk to people who talk about nothing. I usually talk to people about philosophy, religion, politics, or autism. I like to listen to them talk about religion/politics as I don't have much to add, but I do enjoy learning about these things, and sometimes try to tie them into my interest in a conversation. When it comes to autism, I talk a lot, obviously. Philosophy is what I love talking about, too, because philosophical topics usually make good long discussion since they're open-ended. I don't usually talk about anything else with my friends, except that one of my friends likes to bore me with talking about social skills.

If a person talks for very long, I often don't catch what they're saying at first and then wait for them to repeat it again. Or, I write some things down, if I consider them noteworthy. I have two friends with completely conflicting views on religion, so sometimes it's interesting to write down what they say and compare the information.