Parents with AS

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(ditto for me, Callista)

Parts wrote: I'm a 38 year old man I am just shy and don't like to stick out.


I am a 38 year old woman and I hate standing out. (unless it's for some noble cause or strongly held conviction)

My mother have a problem with accepting my Asperger's syndrom, but it is because she got some of the smae problems as I have...
But my brother is "normal", and he got a lot of friends, while my mother got a few and I do not got any friends at all, but unlike my mother, I have accepted my situation in life, and is just trying to do the best I can with what I got...

Callista wrote: I tried to fit in during the first part of my childhood; but after the fifth grade, I realized that even successful contact with other human beings did not make me happy.

(ditto for everything except that)

Thess, it's good that you accept yourself as you are. Maybe your mom will too over time.

I think most of you know about my family, husband undiagnosed Aspergic, daughter and son undiagnosed Aspergic. Daughter waiting to be diagnosed. Our son may want to be diagnosed later. The dr says there isn't much point getting my husband diagnosed as he is too old to benifit from it, it would also be hard to distinguish from AS and his learnt behaviour because of his enviroment. and any coping mechanisims that he has learnt to overcome his AS. We can't have any more children so it isn't important for him to be diagnosed.
My husband doesn't have any sisters and only one brother who is NT. His father died when he was eight. I suspect his father may have been as I can't see any other family link.

I thought my children were just great, they were quiet and studied hard at their lessons when they were concentrating. Claire also has APD. They were and are a joy to be with. Claire isn't into make up and boys ( except Adam.) and when she was little wasn't into dolls and girly things. I knew they were differnt then the other children and I thought that was brilliant. They had a great imagination and are and were very intelligent. They still have great imaginations. they collected things, with Claire it was dog books, origami, polly pocket, and dinosaurs.. With Ben it was maths books and when he was very little it was smartie tops and snakes and ladder games.
My husband collects stuffed toys (He says they are for me.) lol
So they have a parent with AS, their dad. and probably their grandad.

My father has a lot of AS traits and my mother apparently has ADHD. My sister is 100% NT, though.

I am undiagnosed but strongly suspect I have AS. I think my dad also has AS, he has 'strange' behaviours. My mum could be AS or HFA, I'm not sure. I think they are both on the spectrum because, although they both found aspects of my behaviour weird as I grew up, neither of them have found me strange enough to seriously consider that we may have autism in the family (although we recently found out the my aunt may be autistic). I can see one or two traits in my sister's behaviour, although she is fairly 'normal'. I truly think that, were my parents NT, they would have had to have figured it out by now. They are either blissfully unaware of the situation or both in denial. I also think that the fact they are so similar is what has held us together as a family throughout all the weirdness. Neither of my parents are particularly social, it is almost as if they have this unspoken agreement between them that they will not speak to each other too much
Neither of them can tolerate loud noise, or disruption, although my mum handles change a lot better than my dad does. My dad did see a counsellor once, who described him as 'rigid' but I don't think AS was ever mentioned...

I doubt my parents have AS. When I was little, they would always get angry at me for not making eye contact or saying hi back to whoever said hi to me. Also, my parents have this unrealistic idea that I will grow out of AS, no matter how many times I tell them I won't.

It would be cool if my parents did have AS though, maybe they would be able to understand me better.

I certainly couldn't rule out either or both of my natural parents having AS. However, I'll never know, considering I was adopted 23 years ago, but by all accounts my mother had problems.