disability = others feeling entitled to your medical history

Post Reply New Topic

You know what Apple_in_my_Eye? The next solicitator who knocks on my door I will simply look him somewhat in the face then laugh insanely at him then yell "F**K YOU!" then slam the door in his face. This I do for you.

To be honest I try not to tell people all my medical problems if I can get away with not doing so. They are no-one's business but my own.

It's like when the doctors ask me how much I drink - I tell them that it's not any of their business.

While I don't have a problem at all discussing AS with those I think I need to know (it's not about whether they think they need to know, it about whether I think they do), there is no reason whatsoever to even mention disability to anyone looking for donations.

My standard answer is just, "No."

I don't feel any need at all to justify it to anyone. There are a few annoying people who try to lay guilt trips on me. They don't work. I donate from time to time to some charities, if and when I can. I don't feel any need at all to explain to anyone the whens, whys, wherefores and whatnots.

Unless it's someone I know. and their opinion of me matters to me. That's one of those situations where I think I need them to know.

So sorry he actually asked you and he should not have done so. Strangers have no authority to pose questions, with the exception of genuine need-to-know (like a medical provider). I doubt he meant his enquiry with ill-intent but insensitive of him to ask.

I had considered posting this before, but maybe now and this will cheer you up.......from several weeks ago (all if fine now):

I live in an aparment and hardly know any other tenents. Just 2 doors down I had very casually become acquainted with a guy - he introduced himself to me in the laundry room, etc. I had no attraction to him, at all, but thought he was polite/nice. I'm trying to not be so shy as well. Soon after, whilst in the hallway, he asked if I'd like to come in to his apartment. I was somewhat leery and said, 'OK, but I have just a few minutes.' (btw, this guy has a good job and presents himself respectably).

As soon as I entered he was all over me - and I was genuinely afraid/nervous. He clearly was far out of bounds and I said 'No.' I left his apartment - I was all right but nervous. He had my email address and by the next morning my inbox was full of his messages and unwanted photos. Since he lives right close I chose to contact the local police.

I must say, our local police were very professional.....they immediately knew what to do, said I did the right thing. They promptly contacted this guy and he's not ever been a problem since.

About what I just shared - I do not mean for this to sound awful.....really, it wasn't. I think he just didn't know the limitations and I took action. Awkward scenario.

To the point: About sharing your medical history - One of the police officers asked, in a discrete way, alluding to a difference - you know. Since he was right in asking as it's a factor in this unique instance, I told him I'm an Aspie (and that I might have difficulties in reading expression and intent). He was really good about this and actually knew! I had mentioned, 'it's akin to high-functioning Autism.' (To note here - I am very good at math/science and my neat-nick apartment has this theme too).

I love his reply, "Oh, I think I know what that is! Is that the math kind?"

Yes!! ! That's it! From now forward I'm the "math kind" of Autistic! Perfect answer.

I guess a sense of humor is in order, if it must be addressed with a total stranger.

@Todesking

Hehe, thanks.

@LabPet

Thanks for the story. Yeah, I guess you never know what people do and don't know (or their attitude about it) until you find out; surprises can happen. I tend to be a bit overly defensive by default, but on better days I tell people that my brain isn't scrambled, but rather is just par-boiled.

If the roles were reversed, then it sounds like exactly the kind of situation that people with ASD find themselves in every day, following curiosity and logic into areas that other people find rude. Maybe the solicitor even had an ASD himself.

I'm so sorry you were put on-the-spot.....and of course, your AS is nothing to be ashamed of - the contrary! You did the right thing. After all, we're the math kind

While doctors may have no particular right to that information, they're asking for a reason. It figures into what health conditions to look for, differential diagnosis of various conditions, whether certain medications are feasible, and other things. A doctor asking medical information makes way more sense than a random stranger and while they're not entitled to an answerxit usually makes sense to give them one.

I never tell solicitators anything, one time a solicitator asked why I would not donate to a disability thing and I told him "because I have a disability" asked him if he will give me some of the money if I proved I was. When he said no I closed the door and that was that.

I hate it when random people start to ask me questions about my medical state, I just love the answer "No comment" to such questions. After they ask the first question which warents "no comment" use "no comment" to any other question they ask.

I once lived in a student house where a person asked me if I had a neurological condition, I did not want to answer so I said "no comment". He later asked me things like "did you go to a private school", which got the same answer. After quite a few "no comments" he was rather confused about me and hardly knew which way was up

If you want a slightly more polite one use "I will not confirm or deny XXXXX".

The super polite version is "I am sorry I can not answer that question". or "sadly I am not permitted to answer that question"