People "Know" right away.
I have the opposite problem. Being often silent and alone, people tend to think that they need to cheer me up and be hyper-friendly, which of course only irritates me. I've learned that if I want to avoid being "attacked" I actually have to look completely unapproachable, so I just sneer at people who start to come my way.
I have been told a few times, "You look like you're alwasy in a bad mood."
And I respond, "Good!"
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"If you can't call someone else an idiot, then you are obviously not very good at what you do."
And I respond, "Good!"
I am told that frequently by my father, he is always saying I look pissed off or grumpy, and tells me to cheer up and smile "like everybody else." I respond that I'm fine and I smile when I feel like it, not to appease others.
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"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."
- Jimi Hendrix
Lol, this is familiar.
I'm pretty uptight in the supermarkets/densely populated areas.
I observe my facial expression in the reflective surfaces when possible and my look is clearly strained neutrality.
If I try to force a smile to prove my humanity, its just a nightmare.
Knowing it is worse than "ignorance is bliss". I should take the red pill or whichever makes me forget my issues. (Wonder how long it takes before it all comes back again?)
Odd. I don't tend to notice anything like this, but that doesn't mean it's not going on. I'm in one of two modes any time I go anywhere. Most of the time, I'm on my own mission, and don't pay much attention to anyone, so if they are reacting oddly, I'm not seeing it. But then, I don't care anyway, so as far as I'm concerned, it doesn't really matter.
There are times when I'm out, I'm on top of my "game," alert, because I'm probably out there trying to make contact. But when I am like that, I'm usually in a more "positive" frame of mind, so the people I do notice are the ones who nod and smile, obviously on top of their game, and looking to do the same.
Either way, if anyone's reacting negatively to me, I'm already set to a frequency that filters them out of my consciousness.
On rare occasions, I'm not much in the mood to be out anywhere, and stay so focused on what I'm out there for personally. It's as if I have blinders on. I don't even see or notice anyone except the people I have to deal with to accomplish what I need done (like cashiers or floor sales people. I can be pretty demanding that they do pay attention to me, because all I want to do is get what I need and get the hell out of there.
Our local Best Buy sounds a lot like yours. I practically have to grab the employees by the arm to get them to pay attention. I've noticed though, they are like that with everyone, not just me, and it's exactly because of that if I need anything they sell, I check every other store first. Best Buy is one of a few stores around here I avoid like the plague unless no one else has what I need. Radio Shack is another, but there it's because the employees won't leave me the hell alone!
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I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...
I've started to notice this happening a lot to me. Most of the time I walk into stores the employees shun me for an NT. I've asked people seriously what it is that puts people off to me, and mostly people say it's because I'm unattractive or not ditzy. But one person had the nerve to suggest it was because my privates reeked. Um, thanks??
My problem is that sometimes people notice me too much. Perhaps because I pace, or sometimes I'm just not aware of my facial expressions, so I'll be smiling while thinking of something pleasant, and I don't notice people. And then when someone does approach me, I have a hard time getting away. I want them to go away, but I can't tell them, I want to get away, but how must I do it without being rude? That kind of thing.
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"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain
two gig chips, i dont need a lecture" my goal is to get in and out as quickly as possible, i can get a weeks grocery shopping done in 9 minutes, including checkout (yes, i time myself and try to beat my goal)
As for the topic at hand, this happens to me too. Before someone initiates verbal communication with another person, there are non-verbal cues exchanged that signal that each party is willing to communicate (I don't know what they are, but I know they exist). NTs pick up on them naturally and they are probably getting the feeling that you would prefer to be left alone.
Ravenclawgurl
Veteran
Joined: 19 Jun 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,274
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
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