Do You Get Scared When People Wanna Be Friends w/You?

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Brainfre3ze_93
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01 Jul 2010, 6:44 am

I would be supsicious, almost no one wants to be freinds with me.



Valoyossa
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01 Jul 2010, 6:53 am

I'd be scared, surprised and suspicious. People don't fight to become my friend. I'd think what they want from me and if it's clear.


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musicboxforever
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01 Jul 2010, 9:16 am

Yes I do get scared. I'm not suspicious of the other person's intentions. I'm not sure why I get scared. My first instinct is to say "no" to an invitation from someone new. Maybe because I find new things hard to deal with. For example I ran into my good friend's new girlfriend and her friend in a car park once. I like them, but I didn't know them well. We had a little chat. I felt really awkward because I'm no good at small talk. When they asked me if I wanted to join them (I can't remember where they were going) I said no and made an excuse. I realised afterward that I should have said yes. Maybe I would be friends with them now if I had made a bit more effort. But social things are just very painful for me. I don't know how I'm meant to act and I feel very aware of my awkwardness. I prefer to be alone and unstressed.

Even if people PM me, if they do it too many times that can stress me out. Sorry to anyone I haven't PM'd back.

I think I start to wonder if anything particular is expected of me and because I can't work out what that is, I freak out and want to be left alone because it's easier than trying to work out how I'm meant to be behaving around this new person.

That old line, "just be yourself," doesn't mean anything to me. Being myself is stressing about how I'm meant to behave.



Kiseki
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01 Jul 2010, 10:44 am

weatherkid wrote:
WOAH! Hold on a moment! You said it was a *STUDENT* of yours? Between 11-17???

Image

Dude, I don't know about where you live, but there I come from, that's pedophilia. Just back out before your in too deep.


No! She's in her 40s :lol: I teach kids AND adults. My stream-of-consciousness earlier didn't make sense I guess ;)



Todesking
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01 Jul 2010, 10:48 am

fleeced wrote:
i can manage talking to doctors / therapists / shrinks ok and at interviews but everyday people and their circle of friends are scary.


The psychologist I saw for three days kept saying well you talk to me without any problems. I explained to him he is a medical professional I have no anxiety talking to medical people. I told him I sweat, stammer, and get nervous when doing job interviews. The whole entire conversation I looked at him maybe four times. :roll:



Last edited by Todesking on 03 Jul 2010, 11:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

musicboxforever
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01 Jul 2010, 10:57 am

Todesking wrote:
The psychologist I saw for three days kept saying well you talk to me without any problems. I explained to him he is a medical professional I have no anxiety talking to medical people. I told him I sweat, stammer, and get nervous when doing job interviews. The whole entire conversation I looked at maybe four times. :roll:


Oh my colleagues say that as well "I don't think you have any social problems, you talk to us ok." But it's because I see them everyday, I am used to them now. Actually, I don't really talk to them that much, I'm not really friends with them, I never see them outside of work. They're all guys too, so if I do speak to them it's usually about music. But with new people, i don't know what they are into. Maybe they don't like music, what will I talk to them about.Especially girls, what do they like to talk about? Aargh. Too much stress. I would rather stick to what I know.



Todesking
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01 Jul 2010, 11:14 am

musicboxforever wrote:

Oh my colleagues say that as well "I don't think you have any social problems, you talk to us ok." But it's because I see them everyday, I am used to them now. Actually, I don't really talk to them that much, I'm not really friends with them, I never see them outside of work. They're all guys too, so if I do speak to them it's usually about music. But with new people, i don't know what they are into. Maybe they don't like music, what will I talk to them about.Especially girls, what do they like to talk about? Aargh. Too much stress. I would rather stick to what I know.


At my old job when new people came in and try to talk to me I would keep my head down and keep working. The new guy would ask if there was something wrong with me they would say he is shy around new people then tell them wait three days and ask me about horror films or stop-motion animation and he will start talking to you. :lol:



Radiofixr
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01 Jul 2010, 11:32 am

I am very guarded about new people because I meet people on IM then meet them in person-I feel like I am letting people down by seeming different on line than in person and they get disappointed and a possible friendship gone on appearances instead of content.



Kiseki
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01 Jul 2010, 11:38 am

Yeah, like some of the rest of you have said I feel worried about having to be my true self with new people. Not only am I gay (bad enough) but I am a weirdo who says inappropriate things :oops:



rmctagg09
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01 Jul 2010, 4:54 pm

I get either annoyed or suspicious, as people generally leave me to my own devices.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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01 Jul 2010, 4:57 pm

Kiseki wrote:
I find this often happens to me. I wonder about their true inentions and what they want me to do. Just now one of my students- a lovely lady I always have good conversations with- asked me to have a drink with her sometime. I said yes and gave her my email. She mailed me and now I'm freaking out! I really don't understand why. She's a very nice lady.


I'm like that too. Like, when somewhat distant cousins *suddenly* want to come over, my first reaction is "WHY??????". It floors me. I am the type of person who either wants to be loved or hated and cannot understand why people who act like they don't want to be near me suddenly want to visit. If someone is very obvious about wanting to be around me, go places with me, is very supportive and positive, I don't have those feelings about them, but if it's someone who thinks I am "weird", I wonder why they want to have anything at all to do with me and begin questioning their motives.
It's not that I don't want friends. I just want friends who want to be friends 100%, meaning they are supportive, loving, nice, all the time, and if they are annoyed about something, they can tell me.
Most of the friends I attract are the type that will go places with me, hang out, and then talk about me visciously when I am not around, try to get people they are talking to not to like me for some reason. That kind of stuff drives me crazy.



OneStepBeyond
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01 Jul 2010, 5:05 pm

yeah, i dont understand when people are nice to me and get kind of suspicious



DarthMetaKnight
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01 Jul 2010, 5:10 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
yeah, i dont understand when people are nice to me and get kind of suspicious

Me too, a little.


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katzefrau
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03 Jul 2010, 11:00 pm

yes. i can't figure out their motive, or what they think we might have in common. and i can't tell if someone is hitting on me. and then also i wonder what on earth i would do with or say to this person.

i have managed to make friends though. it happens.


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Kiseki
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03 Jul 2010, 11:25 pm

katzefrau wrote:
yes. i can't figure out their motive, or what they think we might have in common. and i can't tell if someone is hitting on me. and then also i wonder what on earth i would do with or say to this person.

i have managed to make friends though. it happens.


Yes! I always get confused whether people are hitting on me or not.



Midna
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18 Jul 2010, 11:58 pm

I honestly, a not sure becuase no one ever wants to be my friend, seriously. I've been trying to make friends for awhile and can't/ I have the Aspergers and it sucks!! !

Everything I tried to do, I failed at so would I be scared, probably not, but I would probably find it awkward.