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Article on women with AS/HFA

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Kiseki
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01 Jul 2010, 9:45 pm

Mark198423 wrote:

I am a little bitter. I get people questioning why I don't have something that I want more than anything else but cannot seem to get. You get annoyed because people ask you why you don't have something you don't want - my response would be a simple 'It's not what I want right now'. When I hear it now it's just another reminder, I really do not see your complaint.


I'm not horribly bitter, but I am sick of being expected to do something/be something that I am not. I had enough of that when people wanted me to be straight. I am a 30 yr. old female so now I'm expected to have my shiz together and be getting married or having a child. Not all women wanna do that.

I can see why you are angry as well. Like I said, I don't really know what guys go through. It just seems all the guys I know have never been accosted with the lines of questioning all the GIRLS I know have.



Mark198423
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01 Jul 2010, 9:59 pm

Kiseki wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:

I am a little bitter. I get people questioning why I don't have something that I want more than anything else but cannot seem to get. You get annoyed because people ask you why you don't have something you don't want - my response would be a simple 'It's not what I want right now'. When I hear it now it's just another reminder, I really do not see your complaint.


I'm not horribly bitter, but I am sick of being expected to do something/be something that I am not. I had enough of that when people wanted me to be straight. I am a 30 yr. old female so now I'm expected to have my shiz together and be getting married or having a child. Not all women wanna do that.

I can see why you are angry as well. Like I said, I don't really know what guys go through. It just seems all the guys I know have never been accosted with the lines of questioning all the GIRLS I know have.


Maybe girls only talk to girls about this kind of thing and vice-versa - I don't know. I think we're both talking about unknown perspectives but independently from the vs. issue, can you not just say that you don't want it when asked? I can't go into detail in the conversation as it just opens emotional wounds and I'm simply not comfortable discussing my flaws!



Kiseki
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01 Jul 2010, 10:03 pm

Mark198423 wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:
Maybe girls only talk to girls about this kind of thing and vice-versa - I don't know. I think we're both talking about unknown perspectives but independently from the vs. issue, can you not just say that you don't want it when asked? I can't go into detail in the conversation as it just opens emotional wounds and I'm simply not comfortable discussing my flaws!


I think you are right. I usually go off on an angry tirade because, when I say I don't want that, the people always ask "Why?"

As for you it sounds like you have deeper issues you might need to discuss with someone.



Mark198423
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01 Jul 2010, 10:07 pm

Kiseki wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:
Maybe girls only talk to girls about this kind of thing and vice-versa - I don't know. I think we're both talking about unknown perspectives but independently from the vs. issue, can you not just say that you don't want it when asked? I can't go into detail in the conversation as it just opens emotional wounds and I'm simply not comfortable discussing my flaws!


I think you are right. I usually go off on an angry tirade because, when I say I don't want that, the people always ask "Why?"

As for you it sounds like you have deeper issues you might need to discuss with someone.


I suppose I didn't think of that response from them really. OK both sexes have it bad - we're all f****d!!

:cry: That's so depressing :cry:



DandelionFireworks
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01 Jul 2010, 10:17 pm

Try a lot of verbal reassurances. Can you say "I see, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, I know how you feel" and such things? Can you say "so if I understand this, you're saying [whatever they just said, but phrased differently]?" (That one especially is helpful to me.)

Also, you two, are you talking about the same culture?


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Kiseki
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01 Jul 2010, 11:43 pm

DandelionFireworks wrote:
Try a lot of verbal reassurances. Can you say "I see, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, I know how you feel" and such things? Can you say "so if I understand this, you're saying [whatever they just said, but phrased differently]?" (That one especially is helpful to me.)

Also, you two, are you talking about the same culture?


I am American, but live in Japan now. I got the same line of questioning in both countries.



Mark198423
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02 Jul 2010, 12:13 am

Kiseki wrote:
DandelionFireworks wrote:
Try a lot of verbal reassurances. Can you say "I see, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, I know how you feel" and such things? Can you say "so if I understand this, you're saying [whatever they just said, but phrased differently]?" (That one especially is helpful to me.)

Also, you two, are you talking about the same culture?


I am American, but live in Japan now. I got the same line of questioning in both countries.


Wow! I'm Eglish but considering going to Japan! How have you found it as an aspie Kiseki?



Kiseki
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02 Jul 2010, 12:27 am

Mark198423 wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
DandelionFireworks wrote:
Try a lot of verbal reassurances. Can you say "I see, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, I know how you feel" and such things? Can you say "so if I understand this, you're saying [whatever they just said, but phrased differently]?" (That one especially is helpful to me.)

Also, you two, are you talking about the same culture?


I am American, but live in Japan now. I got the same line of questioning in both countries.


Wow! I'm Eglish but considering going to Japan! How have you found it as an aspie Kiseki?


I'm not sure I am an Aspie, just have most of the traits. I love living in JP for reasons that I posted here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt130466.html



Mark198423
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02 Jul 2010, 12:32 am

It's not 100% cofirmed for me either. How strange that so seemingly different people can end up looking at the same solution!



Kiseki
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02 Jul 2010, 1:06 am

Mark198423 wrote:
It's not 100% cofirmed for me either. How strange that so seemingly different people can end up looking at the same solution!


Yeah, very interesting indeed! I had no idea why I wanted to live in Japan. I guess it was a subconscious way of saving my sanity.



DandelionFireworks
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02 Jul 2010, 2:31 am

Maybe it's the lack of eye-contact.

(Ah, butting into other people's conversations... now you know you're talking to an Aspie!)


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