Being given the label "ret*d"

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I think people should use the word "ret*d" more often to offset what all those politically correct nuts are trying to do. Referring to a mentally ret*d person as "Intellectually disabled" means that the person has NO intelligence rather than less than average intelligence.

As an aspie, it would be foolish not to acknowledge the fact that I am socially ret*d. In other words, I have the social skills of a 12 year old and I am now almost 50. When I was 40, I had the social skills of a 5 year old. By the time I am 100, I hope to match the social skills of an 18 year old.

ret*d doesn't mean that I am forever socially inept, it just means that I am way behind the skills of an NT of the same age.

Back when I was a very young child my doctor asked me where I went to school. I replied (Schools Name) Special Ed and apparently he just automatically wrote "mild mental retardation" on my paperwork. Fortunately my mother found out, ripped him a new one, and made him erase it or it would be an official diagnosis I had to deal with today.

There was a thread on WP talking about smells that you are sensitive to and make you sick-well that "r" word really makes me want to vomit in rage and its use tightens my colon. I despise that term and anyone who has the slightest mental difference gets called the "r" word-I just cant stand it.

So... try "jerk"? Seriously, there are lots of insults that don't assume developmental delay is intrinsically shameful.

Because I'm a ret*d and a jerk.

Rakshasa--"Jerk" works. "Inconsiderate," "thoughtless," "oblivious," "selfish," "entitled," and a whole slew of other words might also fit in the kind of situation you describe, depending on the circumstances. If you want something stronger, "a-hole" fits.

Sorry, I am very precise about words, and finding the correct one. There are lots of words that fit. But "ret*d," much like the misuse of "gay" to say "something I don't like" just crawls all over me.

I would have to say 95% of the fights I got into or the reason I was beat up or spit on was because of the word ret*d and how people used it to discribe me. Teachers would tell people I had a 138 IQ then they would shrug their shoulders and he's a ret*d with a 138 IQ. Then I would get suspended for two weeks for fighting and the other kid just yelled at. That word has caused me so much trouble and anxiety my whole life.

It's just a generic insult for when you don't like someone these days, but of course being autistic it's something I take personally and seriously. I punched the last person who used that word to describe me, he seemed to shut up after that.

I'm pretty sure that when people called me a ret*d, or said that I was ret*d, they weren't suggesting that I had an IQ of 70 or under; they were saying that I was stupid. I think it comes from the social impairment- people presume that a certain level of social ability is common to all humans- even people who are ret*d normally have fairly decent social skills- and people confuse retardation with stupidity- so if you don't even have that basic level of social ability, then you must be really stupid, according to their logic.

Calling someone a "ret*d" can be meant to be offensive and should be taken the same way as being called "stupid, "fool" or "idiot". However, when used as "mentally ret*d" to describe someone who is intellectually far behind those of his same age group, or of someone with a very low IQ, its perfectly OK. It is what it is. To day otherwise is just politically correct crap and shouldn't be tolerated.

As an aspie, I refer to myself as being "socially ret*d" all the time. Its to the point and people know exactly whats wrong with me when I say that. If I say that I have aspergers syndrome, they think "mental illness", "Let's Google it", and "This guy is mentally unstable and might go postal and kill us all."

Since when does "disabled" mean you have NONE f something? Last I heard it just means you are oppressed because you differ from the norm in particular ways (social model) or that you have more than average difficulty in a certain area (medical model). Autistic people are cognitively disabled and it doesn't mean we have no cognition, it means we are oppressed because of cognitive differences from the norm, or that we have more than average trouble in certain cognitive areas.

Its implied. You wouldn't say someone is intellectually disabled if all they were was a little mentally ret*d. "Disabled" means "Not functioning" or "switched off". As in "The school janitor disabled the thermostat so that the kids couldn't change the temperature." Or "A disabled vehicle is blocking the freeway."

Also consider:

Socially ret*d
ret*d growth
ret*d immune system
etc.

All valid uses of the word.

PS - the politically correct people have been driving me nuts with their BS since I was a kid. And then they get offended that I would refer to children as 'kids'. Even today, there are people who are offended when other people call their children "kids". The original meaning of "kid" is a baby goat. They can't seem to grow up and accept the fact that it now also means "children" as well.

i was called a "ret*d" (meaning "ret*d") by some kids in the main stream school system in the sporadic times i attended main stream schools.

i refused to comply with my teachers to the point where i would get myself into severe trouble, and i was on the verge of being expelled from the time i started each new mainstream school.
the other kids witnessed my "bizarre" refusal to obey even the most undemanding and innocuous directions, and they would laugh hysterically as i locked horns with strict teachers when it was obvious i was going to lose. they used to snicker under their breath "god! what a f*ckin ret*d" as i was marched out of class on my way to the office.
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when i became an adult, i had less trouble complying with directions because they came in the form of requests which did not raise the hairs on the back of my neck in the same way. but none the less, another characteristic i have is to be disinclined to enter into conversations with people, so, the people who i do not talk to (who see me regularly) mainly consider me to be mentally handicapped. they do not call me "ret*d" though.

in my software developing jobs (that i mainly do from home), i often have to go to various businesses, and i have small offices in those businesses for when i have to go there and install new modules i wrote into my main systems.
most of the employees at those businesses do not know i am the programmer that wrote the system that they use every day.

i do not want to be known as the author of their systems because then i would be bailed up and asked questions that would keep me from going home as soon as i finished my chore that usually lasts an hour or so. i want to go home as fast as i can when i am at one of the client sites.

at one place i go to, some people asked me who i was, and i told them i was there to service the chicken soup machine, and that was how i was known.
when i go to the coffee room to make a coffee, there is a small TV there and there are usually other employees who watch what is on the 24 hour news channel, and they often make small talk with me about what they are watching, and ask my opinion on things.

i can not be bothered to think about anything else than what is currently on my mind, so when they talk to me, i squint and scratch the back of my head, and when their questioning sentence finishes, i say "i have no idea" and i walk out. i do not know what they asked. they may have asked "is it tuesday?" for all i know.

so they think i am a moron who services the chicken soup machine. i have even had complaints about the taste of the chicken soup, and i respond with "well there you go huh?"

the bosses are upstairs, and when i go to see them, other people do not realize i am going to a meeting about the system. they must think i am just going to talk about the chicken soup machine.

they treat me like an idiot. if i put my coffee cup on a desk, they will say things like "mate, you gotta take your cup back to the kitchen! comprende?". i leave my cup where i put it none the less, so they probably think i do not even understand that simple direction.

at the other 2 companies i work for as a programmer, a few know that i am the author of the code, so they do not treat me like a moron.

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in january this year, i thought i was going to lose my programming jobs. all three companies are owned by the same person (who never goes there), and he was approached by an indian firm and asked to outsource his programming requirements to them. they said they would charge him 1/3 of what i was charging for my services.

i was called in and told my services were no longer required. they lied to me and told me that they were closing the divisions of those companies that i wrote code for.

i panicked and i did not want to live off my savings because i hate to lose money, so i looked around and saw a business that was selling chips, and i bought it. i also bought a refrigerated truck, and i decided to deliver the chips myself.

it is a good business that makes me $600-$700 per day profit, and i work at it 3 days per week (tuesday, thurday and saturday), and i get up at 5am on those days (errrghhhh!!) and go and get the chips i buy to fill my orders, and they are forklifted into the truck, and i drive around to about 15 shops and deliver them. it is an easy job, and i am home by about 12:30pm on those days. i have to use a trolley to walk them a few meters into the shops.

by george those people think i am dumb!.
they treat me like the lowest form of life because they do not know anything about me, and they think i am condemned to "pushing a trolley".
none of them are aware i am also a programmer.


example: a shop ordered 7 boxes of chips, and when i got there, they only wanted 6.
i had already made the invoice out for 7. the boxes cost them $30 each (i pay $22 per box incidently ).

they wanted me to adjust the bill so i said "ok. it will cost you $180 instead of $210".
the man said "with all due respect champ, i think we need a calculator hey?"
i said "it is only you who need a calculator", and he said "i'll just find one".

some people on the street who are in their business clothes smoking on the street look at me with disdain, and one said to another one " aren't you glad you got an education?".

yeah? well i am home by 12:30, and i am sure i earned more that day than they did.

i got my programming jobs back after a couple of months, because the indian firm was not able to successfully reproduce my systems (that i own (the companies were compelled to erase my systems when they "let me go" because it is my property and i never sold it to them (i also wrote a "kill switch" into them in the event that i was terminated))), and i only have to work for a few days per month in maintaining my systems that they rent from me.

so now i am earning very well, but each individual i encounter in my travels (except for a few) thinks i am at the borderline of retardation.

i am amused in a way.
i am going to employ a driver to do the deliveries for me soon, and i also have another 20 shops who are ready to buy chips from me (word of mouth), and i intend to get another truck and driver to service them as well.

the dumb person who stares into space is not interrupted by prattle from those who think i am beneath their level of intelligence, and that is the way i like it.

As far as I'm concerned, the best, most expedient way to explain Asperger's to someone who doesn't know anything about it is by saying two words: "smart ret*d".

I know, it's an oxymoron, but it's really a rather complete and accurate explanation.

In general, I try to refrain from using the word, though. It upsets people.

Uh... I didn't say it's wrong to say ret*d. I just said that disabled doesn't mean "none of an ability" when it refers to humans. People with slight MR ARE considered disabled and do refer to themselves that way quite often. That's why they have concepts of mild to severe disability. They wouldn't use those words if disabled implied total inability. Anyone who thinks it does is mistakenly thinking of the way it's used on machines. Which is NOT the way it is used on humans. It's the equivalent of saying you're not black unless your skin is the same as the total absence of color. Black on objects is not the same as black on people. Disabled on objects is not the same as disabled on people. It's that simple.

And most organizations I have ever taken part in along with people with MR have always referred to themselves as disabled or having disabilities. Even people with mild MR. Your view of this just doesn't match how the words are used. Which is really trance considering your nuanced defense of the word ret*d. Is your problem really that disabled means totally unable or is it just that you don't like it because some people insist on using the term disabled instead of ret*d?

No. It's not implied. All living creatures that have a brain have intelligence of some sort. There is no such thing as "no intelligence" unless somebody is anencephalic. Anencephalic people are not disabled. They are doomed. Most are stillborn. A few get a couple minutes or hours of life- sometimes a day. They have "no intelligence". The man bagging groceries down at Krogers who has Downs Syndrome is intellectually disabled- and he has intelligence.

For the record, I have no problem with calling children "kids". I've spent a fair amount of time around both baby goats and children. The similarities are unmistakable.