Is it likely I will have an autistic child?

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Gee, I hope we haven't scared off the person who originated this thread.

I'm actually more afraid of having a child that is fully NT. How could I be a good mother if I couldn't relate? I know how it is not being able to relate to my mom the way I would like to (I don't think she realizes how acutely I feel it, though...), and I feel like I'm missing something. I don't want my child to feel cut out of that relationship because Mom is weird and constantly doing things and thinking about subjects that seem irrelevant to her. I don't want to be the embarrassing parent.

If you have kids, you're the embarrassing parent.

True...but I don't want it to be "for cause" as opposed to just teenage angst...

Maybe I'm weird, but I'm looking forward to embarrassing the hell out of my kids when they're older.

nothing says you cant relate to your child just because their wiring is different than yours. the triggers might be different, but the emotions are the same. when my son is laying on the floor screaming because his little fingers dont have the fine motor control to put his legos together in the exact way he pictures it in his mind and they keep breaking apart.... i may not have ever been in that exact situation with legos, but i know what it feels like to be overwhelmed with emotion. i know what it feels like to be so frustrated you have to scream, to feel like you cant get something just right no matter how hard you try, so i can empathize with how he's feeling. i may not have walked in his exact shoes, but ive walked in a very similar model.

i think having the diagnosis, even if its unofficial, can be a very big help for drawing lines of understanding between the two worlds. that and opening yourself up to learn how the other person operates. if you acknowledge theres a difference and work to bridge the chasm, thats all it takes to learn to relate. that can be all it takes to be a good mother too.

to the OP, autism can be a big and scary thing, but if you find its looking at you from your childs face, suddenly its not so bad. in fact, you may see it as a beautiful thing you wouldnt change and couldnt imagine living without.

I read in "Understanding the Nature of Autism and Asperger´s Disorder" that the author Eward R. Ritvo (MD) did a big statistical study in the US in the 60´s or 70´s (don´t matter) and the answer to that question is: (a big) NO. Having a brother with autism does not increases the chance of your children having autism.

If you don´t believe me buy the book.



A quote:

"Finally, before leaving the subject of brothers and sisters (and cousins),
I want to repeat what I said before when discussing inheritance. Our family
studies showed that just because you have a sister, brother, or cousin with
autism or Asperger’s disorder you do not have an increased chance of having
a child with a similar disorder. The increased risk (called the recurrence risk
estimate) is only for parents who have already had an affected child."

All the answers have helped answer my question. Thanks everyone