Women who have aspergers: A non-issue for them

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My boyfriend , Says it is confidence. Confidence reflects, he experienced the same thing, and felt the same loneliness. Once he found something he liked and became good at it, he began to feel confidence and he says that it changed everything for him. He says you wouldn't be able to see it now, but you will later.

I say, that you are so jaded from perusal, that it is not fun anymore and therefore that now shows. I agree with him. I had noone of importance for way too long and then I went to school to further myself. It took him a long time to get through to me, but he was very interested, so every time he saw me he said hi and was kind and funny and upbeat. Even as I ignored him, he just was kind and bounded off.

I had been going to a counselor and he said that people were probably interested in me, because I was pretty and intelligent, yet I just wasn't seeing it yet. So my awesome man kept saying hi and walking away without worries, until 6 months later, I was on the bus one day, and happened to be the perfect distance away, for my eyes to focus and see him right, "you probably know the blinder affect of aspergers", and I saw his amazing smile and laughed and said, omg, you are right there. So I happily pursued him back LOL.

Yet, still, everyone else I meet, talks to me for a few minutes and realizes that I am different and walks away. Even if they say hi later on, " you know the feeling, it is lonely" so I don't have any other personal friends at this moment, or for about 6 months.

So how you can deal is what is most important here. I hope you are able to let your kindness and gregariousness back into your heart, for then that will be who you attract later. Seriously best wishes.

i am not a woman with aspergers. what i am is a non-autistic woman who is partnered with an aspie man. granted, we didnt know he was an aspie man until this year, but weve been together 11 years. knowing he has aspergers, or even possibly classic autism, doesnt change who he is tho, and i was with him long before we had a name to put on his eccentricities.

what i see in your post is that you mention multiple times that you are handsome and in shape, and talk about women being attracted to your looks but drop you once they realize you are different. i once read another thread here on wrong planet from a woman having a hard time finding a male romantic partner. her situation was rather opposite yours as she did not consider herself attractive but did the makeup and clothing routine so many women do and was still having a difficult time finding someone to be with.

i think a lot of times it comes down to knowing your target audience. like writing a book or filming a movie, know who you are trying to attract. if you are relying on superficial means (outside appearances, looks, clothing, makeup, online pickup techniques, etc), then you will attract the superficial people. those are the people that arent going to like different or weird. they wont appreciate the person you are on the inside.

instead, try going where the "real" people are. poetry coffeehouses, book clubs, hobby groups, techie groups, etc. try finding people that are going to share your interests, or be accepting of different. try online dating sites, or personals. real women arent looking for a man to use a pickup line on them they got off the internet. they want a man who is going to accept them, warts and all.

i dont believe in "the one" when it comes to romantic relations. i do believe there are matches out there for everybody. its just a matter of finding them. but you have to make sure you are looking in the right places.

Yeah, but who is there to complain to? God? Women (they didn't make the rules, either)?

Much of life, and the more so the closer to the heart, is unfair. Those with lots of love are in the best position to get more. Those without are most likely to end up with more of that. It's like with money; if you've got a lot, it's easier to make more. If you're poor, it's hard to make even "enough." The world just generally rewards the 'winners' and punishes the 'losers.' A kid shortchanged due to abusive parents probably needs more love from the world, but in the long run they'll probably end up getting less.

It would be nice if people got what they wanted or needed, but that just isn't the way of the world. Most people will never have to realize this, as things will generally work out for them and those they see around them. They'll assume things just magically work out for everyone (hence the advice "don't worry, it'll happen eventually").

About the only positive thing I have to say is that friendship can be a lot deeper than typically advertised, and is underrated. And, I suppose, that it's not truly over until your the drop of good will is permanently gone.

My boyfriend , Says it is confidence. Confidence reflects, he experienced the same thing, and felt the same loneliness. Once he found something he liked and became good at it, he began to feel confidence and he says that it changed everything for him. He says you wouldn't be able to see it now, but you will later.

I say, that you are so jaded from perusal, that it is not fun anymore and therefore that now shows. I agree with him. I had noone of importance for way too long and then I went to school to further myself. It took him a long time to get through to me, but he was very interested, so every time he saw me he said hi and was kind and funny and upbeat. Even as I ignored him, he just was kind and bounded off.

I had been going to a counselor and he said that people were probably interested in me, because I was pretty and intelligent, yet I just wasn't seeing it yet. So my awesome man kept saying hi and walking away without worries, until 6 months later, I was on the bus one day, and happened to be the perfect distance away, for my eyes to focus and see him right, "you probably know the blinder affect of aspergers", and I saw his amazing smile and laughed and said, omg, you are right there. So I happily pursued him back LOL.

Yet, still, everyone else I meet, talks to me for a few minutes and realizes that I am different and walks away. Even if they say hi later on, " you know the feeling, it is lonely" so I don't have any other personal friends at this moment, or for about 6 months.

So how you can deal is what is most important here. I hope you are able to let your kindness and gregariousness back into your heart, for then that will be who you attract later. Seriously best wishes.

I'm assuming that you are trolling as this is an obviously controversial post and you are a brand new member, however, it's a 4/10 troll at least so I'll bite. I'm a woman. I have aspergers.

In your post, which I assume is about the same length as most opening salvos in a 'pick up', you come across as arrogant, vain, and self-centered with a sense of entitlement that's out of all proportion.

[quote="johnnydangerous"]I am a handsome, in shape man who is 33 years old. But because I have aspergers, I am alone.

But if you're a pretty woman with aspergers, it just doesn't matter. In fact men might even like you MORE because of it.

seems kinda double standards that a pretty aspie girl has all the dates she likes but a handsome aspie male does not .. Something wrong with this picture , and its NOT being aspie either !