"EVERYONE has it rough' buddy!! !"...idiots!! !

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My thoughts are, if these troubles are pretty much over, is there a reason to go on to others about them? Everyone, to some slight extent, had trouble in school. When they say "Yeah, we all had trouble", they actually mean "So? You had trouble? What's your point?". I could go on constantly about how I'm having a tonne of trouble at the moment (and, sometimes, do so - when the pressure builds up too much) - but, in the future, I find it doubtful that I'd be telling others about how much trouble I had as a kid - for fear of being seen as overly dramatic, a liar or attention seeker. These people, although educated, see you as all three of these for bring up the past - thus, dismissing you in a way that they see as the kindest way possible. Like you say, no support or sympathy, because (quite frankly) these people don't care. There is a difference between "Oh, I'm having such a bad time at the moment" and "20 years ago, I got punched in the face. It was upsetting". They say these things, obviously, to lessen your attempts at causing what, to them, appears to be attention-seeking.

As for the guy in the wheelchair, if he were to say to me he'd had it so rough in school, I would most certainly come out with "So? Is this relevant to our conversation? Do you expect me to take pity on you in any way?". To me, it just reminds me of all those people who go on and on about how their life is just one giant sob story when, in reality, no-one really cares. Even though my own life is bad, I don't make it my aim to stress to every person how bad my life was. I would say "Well, I got a bit of bother in school, but that's about it" and care very little about any of their attempts to lessen it.

Maybe when you get older and have to deal with some really bad sh*t in the real world you'll feel differently. That most people don't care is fairly obvious and not really worth pointing out IMHO. The point is that at some point, at some time in your life, you'll really start to wish that someone did care. But you are right that most people don't give a s**t about anything but themselves, their family, their material possessions, etc.

I don't understand what wheelchairs have to do with having things rougher than anyone else to begin with.

I hate it when people do this. It feels like they're completely trivialising out difficulties. If I had it as bad as everyone else supposedly has it, I doubt would have spent 2 years seeing a psychiatrist and 6 years seeing a psychologist.

last time someone pulled this on me, was my grandfather. Whats sad is my dad will say oh but I have the same problems blah blah blah blah blah, its just you holding yourself back. I do know that that is PARTIALLY true, but not completely true.

I think the point is, is that we can't get rid of our social difficulties, etc by gaining more confidence, any more than someone in a wheelchair can walk if they just try hard enough. The problem of course is that people can't see our disability and they seem to think if something is in "your head" that you can overcome it with sheer willpower.

I have been told school is hard for everyone and everyone has a hard time learning. I should have told them "So why aren't they all in special ed getting accomodations if it's so hard for everyone?"

I have also been told lot of kids get bullied which happens to be true. But I am sure anyone who had it badly would say something like "Do lot of kids get beaten up in school?"

It is why I usually don't talk to strangers,
I just sit on the pavement playing with
my chalk drawing with it and playing
with my Hotwheels, I don't talk to strangers
who will only insult me for playing anway
so I just keep drawing not looking at them
and I don't respond to anything but
"will you play with me?"

I tell everyone I edit video.

I do edit video, but not in the sense
they think I do.

I work for ME. It isn't enuf to live on
and I'm on disability, but you know the
rules, don't ask don't tell. They assume
that I make enuf to live on, and problem
solved. I appear to not be able to do anything
but electronics, I suck and get fired at
everything else, no one has the brains to
hire me for editing video, so STUFFEM I
hire myself, work for myself, the disability
examiner think II am batzoid for "hiring myself"
and reckomends me for disability again and again.

I wish I cood tell you I worked for some
corporation in the video room, magically
make the car work to take me home at the
end of the day.

This is all I am able of doing, I don't know
why I am the way I am, I guess God screwed up
when he made me? I don't know. Don't ask me,
or you might get false info.

All I would ask is that someone look past their
stupid prejudice and let me function instead of
"take your pittance and like it":.

I guess until I learn to cast a spell and control
their minds I will just have to keep living life
this way. Well, it isn't so bad. I'm used to it.

I was abused by people, and I'm bitter,
so to society I sey "Deal with it"

Last edited by LittleTigger on 23 Jul 2010, 11:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

I remember telling a co-worker at the machine shop that I might have a form of autism he asked me if I wore a hockey helmet as a kid and when I said no he then said its not autism your just shy and need to quit bitching long enough to trust someone. He has an autistic nephew who is very low functioning autistic and he told me to spend a day helping his sister with her son and I'll see what autism is.

Remember, some people may have issues that are undiagnosed. Several years ago, I was talking to a friend who had recently been diagnosed with AS around the same time I was diagnosed with ADHD. As he was telling me about his AS, I am sure I was being extremely insensitive because I kept checking off the symptoms of AS as things I do as well (including some very non-ADHD traits such as having eye contact issues, very few friends, etc.).

By the end of the discussion, he did something I am grateful for. He suggested I should also have an AS eval. Since then others have suggested this to me as well, or they have specifically stated AS traits that I have. I have looked into AS, done the AQ and other tests, and have consistently scored in the AS range.

My point is this: while some people may be generalizing, you never know when someone you are talking to might have AS or another problem, diagnosed or not.

I can understand the feeling no one has it worse than me no one not now not ever because I have felt that way so many times but then I see shows with kids who are facing terminal illnesses and I realize yeah it could've been much much worse and I wonder how they manage to cope. I still think there are plenty of people who never had to worry about a thing and not everyone has a tough time. What you have to remember is perception. A lot of it is about how you perceive your life.
Let's say someone is intensely bothered by a comment someone made about their acne or clothing or something superficial and they feel bad about people thinking less of them. Maybe they don't have money to spend on Clearasil or clothing from the mall. They might not even have a washing machine to wash their clothing in. It might not do any good to tell them what they already know because they or their parents cannot afford what it takes to remedy it. You cannot pretend they don't suffer emotionally just because you think you had it worse. You never know what's going on behind the scenes in other people's lives. Everybody has something.
Sometimes, thinking of yourself as special actually does you more harm than good. You think you are isolated and the only one who could possibly experience heartache and loss, but is that true? It's a distortion of reality.
Usually people in wheelchairs do not feel sorry for themselves. They have been counseled it's a bad idea to get into this destructive pattern, it's addictive. I do it myself sometimes, but can see why it's detrimental and non productive.

OP is being hypocritical. He says that others can't possibly understand how bad he had at school, yet he is also dismissive of other people's experiences. Newflash: you have no idea about what these people went through, and just assuming that you had it worse or that they don't know what they're talking about is arrogant in the extreme.

I mean, sure there are a lot of ignorant people out there, but you should try to prove them wrong through logical debate, not by getting angry or jumping to conclusions.

Mabye its better not to try and force your problems onto others, i dont

Yeah, but ya see, that's the rub - getting offered scholarships to three universities, but still not getting to go to the one you wanted may be 'suffering' by somebody's standards, but its hardly the same as spending four decades of your life hopping from job to job, getting fired every few months because you didn't behave exactly like everybody else.

I don't really believe everybody suffers, some just whine that they do because they don't get everything they want. Those are the people most likely to tell you to just 'suck it up, everybody suffers' - because they're so privileged, they have no effing clue what they're talking about.

I can look at the experiences of my own immediate family and tell you unequivocally - compared to what my life has been, not one of them has genuinely 'suffered', ever - not once in their entire lives. Their beneficent 'God' has spoiled them rotten.

The buddhists believe suffering is part of desiring so maybe that is why people suffer. They aren't getting something they want. Some people want to be respected. They aren't, thus, they suffer. Same with jobs. I desire a decent job so I can buy stuff and put food on the table. It's still desire. It's the same as someone wanting to get into a college and not being able to because there's too much competition. People tend to feel like they are suffering when they aren't getting something they want. Most people want what they want, so that's kind of like "wanting everything".

in highschool I had a teacher who, after/during asking me various questions, said,
"Most kids have trouble in highschool. It's good to be miserable sometimes. ' builds character!"

my mom eventually had to go ask the school to tell this teacher to stop talking to me.