Do you feel like an outsider, even here at Wrong Planet?

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I think it is a truth of the human condition. The innate separation because of our unique container and our innate connection as one of the species of human beings. All the factors that divide us never change that we are all human beings and all connect to the earth.

If you walk around feeling that you belong all the time in a sense you do just as much as walking around feeling you will never belong because you can't.

I hate zoos, or anything of the like because what if there were only a couple of us left and they gathered us up and made us live in what they recreated as our home. I think almost all the problems of the world could be solved if everyone got the correct definition. We are all equal and we will never rest until we know we are connected and because of this connection we cannot escape anyone's suffering or any injustice. Whatever we cannot tolerate, neither can another.

Yes, quite to my chagrin I've experienced little emotional connection here on the forums.
I'm confused as to why being perceived as a "curbie" has provoked such negative reactions. I conclude that the zeitgeist here is that if one wants to improve himself, it must imply some sort of self-hatred; and that acceptance is the only path to satisfaction.
Of course, this is my own subjective response. Like perhaps all of us individually, I'm not known for having great powers of emotional perception. I suppose it's possible that all of us who feel disconnected are only so due to the technological limitations of the text-only medium; something else that could express our feelings and expectations simultaneously with our words might improve our views of the forums. (Such a thing doesn't exist yet, so this is simply academic.)

Great analogy.

Since a small child, I've always felt the only way that we'll every solve our problems as a species is for all of us to know and empathize with each other. And to me, modeling all human relationships as a complete graph Kn with n=6.7*10^9 doesn't seem all that impossible anymore.

Could you please explain that or put it in different words?

Also, I assume that we are in a real sense 'more' separate than NTs, but how would I know?

That's a shame, I didn't know you'd faced a great deal of negativity over it. Perhaps you didn't present it in quite the correct light.

I recall your plan for a technology to track and feedback information from body language and eye contact. I for one would love to hear how that is all going.



I was talking to a friend the other day about an idea for a machine that could record and then simulate the entire sensory/mental/emotional experience of another person. It would be handy. You'd have to be pretty tough to ride the worst programs.

I still feel like an outsider here. It makes me more left out because I never got most of the help you guys probably have. I never grew up with support from parents or teachers or anyone. My parents to help me but other people were too stubborn to see my daily struggles. I had BOTH my teachers AND classmates make fun of me on a daily basis, making me feel responsible for the autistic tendencies I had in elementary school. I was emotional abused in my elementary schools and was forced to hold things in because no one would listen to me. People considered my a reject because I was different.

Yet, I've had people here tell me I'm not mentally challenged or not suffering anxiety. My problems are for more tramuatizing than anyone can understand. You guys seem more developed in everything than me because it seems like some of you had better help than me and maybe you guys didn't. I won't judge but to be pushed aside even a place like this without people understanding what I go through in daily life struggles makes me feel like I have nowhere to belong.

I came here because I feel as if my NT friends can't understand me enough. I thought here you guys would and maybe try to help me with getting help I never got but instead some of you just consider me as weird here as my NT friends do. It's the same thing I deal with between them just like here. I'm just now getting very little help than what I had as a child because I never got the help I had recently. I didn't get a psychiatrist until a few months ago. Everyone told me I never needed one because I never "seemed" like I did. I was never in counseling because it turned out I didn't need that either. Schools offered me services that didn't do squat for me and 'thought' they would help me when it turns out they never really did anything for me. They were ignorant and they were the kind of NTs who were too stubborn to listen to my parents or try to understand me.

I just want a place where I feel welcome without dealing with all the trouble I have and not having to bring up things that upset me even more. Yet, it seems like even here I still deal with that.

Perhaps I responded too strongly. What I meant is that I'm slightly disappointed with my experience on the forums simply because my personal expectations weren't met to a substantial degree. I think most members could agree with that sentiment at least somewhat.


Ah, thank you for mentioning it. This is/was my summer project. There's two parts: theoretical and practical.
The theoretical I'm calling "Emergent Computation of Social Dynamics in Cellular Automata using Affect Presentation", which is what I've been working on. It's all about specifying the morphology of human affect, clarifying its rules, and using game theory to show that the rules of social interaction emerge from these simpler rules. That way, we can use forward/backward processes to see what's actually going on in people's minds and between them.
The practical is using computer cameras and microphones during social conversations to detect affect and estimate mind states. Then, we can use the equations I've been writing to compute the optimum social response. It's cool too, since it's possible to use strategic game theory to optimize entire relationships. (Yes, this is the whole "autism cure" thing I'm attempting to do.)
I'm trying finalize the theoretical part within the next month or so. (I'm having real trouble modeling kinesthetic affection, though.) Afterward, I'm going to see if I can publish my findings. (I'm not in a graduate program now so I'm going to have to go searching for someone working in the field to sponsor me.)
Maybe I'll make it my winter project to get something done about the practical part. More on that later.


Hmm... I never thought of that. Something to ponder when I'm waiting in checkout line the next time I'm at the store.

I mostly do feel like an outsider in this place. Wrongplanet is not the friendliest place for autism support.

I belong to myself. I think that feeling is innate and irrelevant to any group, online or otherwise, that anyone would have me in.

If I met one person in real life to whom I felt visible, that would be enough for me.

But often enough here I read someone else's words that resonate, and it does lessen the isolation, ever so slightly.

very much so.
squatting with my back against a glass wall.

I feel that I fit right in, here.

Come to think of it , I'm somewhat surprised that there hasn't been any new threads initiated on:" why I think the undiagnosed are soooooo wrong." You'd get these every month or so.
Me thinks the board moves rapidly now and there is a lot to follow; a moving target is harder to hit.

But there are enough people here that are supportive and when you need a question answered ; it's there.

Hmmm, I see. I wish I could say something that helps. But it sounds like some of these responses at least sort of identify with what you're saying. That might not give you what you came here for, but does that at least give you a little piece of mind? Or am I just way off in my interpretation?

Yes! I often complain that I can't even fit in with other autistic people. I can't even fit in with people who share my intrests, they make fun of me and cyber bully me.

I feel more in place than other websites, but it's still the internet. Nobody really gets to know me. Just like in real life.

I have a lot in common with other people on this website, but I still feel like an outsider. I convinced myself a long time ago that no one could relate to me or have the same thoughts and feelings that I do. I still have a hard time contemplating how it is possible that other people can be similar to me. Feeling like an outsider is engraved in my subconscious and I will never be able to erase that feeling no matter how similar anyone else is to me.

ya mostly...people here mostly ignore me...I guess I dont go out of my way to pi$$ ppl off, so I am just overlooked.